Strange People
by Lord of the Sloths
Summary: After the incident with Scarlett on Pahkitew Island, the network higher-ups won't allow another season of Total Drama. That is unless the producers can prove that their... More eccentric, contestants aren't dangerous. Not wanting to spend too much money, they get Chef to evaluate some of the previous competitors. But the question is: How long can Chef put up with these guys?
1. Introduction

**Hello, it's been a little while since my last story was completed but after going over several ideas in my head, I finally sat down and wrote this. In case you couldn't tell, this is different from the typical "Competition Stories" that I've been writing for Total Drama. I kinda got burned out on writing those and wanted to try something new. Hopefully you guys like this. Also, just so we're clear, this takes place on an entirely different continuity than my other stories. It's just to simplify writing for me. Anyway, that's about all I have to say so I hope you enjoy my new story.**

* * *

One early morning inside the offices of a television studio somewhere in Southern Ontario, reality television personality Chris McLean and his right hand man Chef Hatchet were in an elevator together, going up.

"Man, I got a bad feelin' about this." Chef commented.

"Oh calm down, you say that every time the producers want to talk with us." Chris replied. "They probably wanna congratulate us on a job well done."

"I dunno Chris, I'm thinkin' they're gonna fire us." Chef theorized. "Dumpin' all that toxic waste was your first strike and letting that redheaded psycho nerd take over the island was your third."

"Ah c'mon, the producers love it when stuff like that happens." Chris said. "They say it's what gives us our highest ratings. Everything's gonna work out just fine."

"Fine, but if I'm right don't say I didn't warn you." Chef told him.

The elevator doors opened and the two men stepped out into the hallway. After walking for a few moments they stopped in front of one of the rooms lining the hall.

"All right, this is the one they said we'd be meeting in." Chris remarked. "Here we go."

Chris opened up the door and entered the room. The space was well lit with a pleasant eggshell white coat of paint on the walls and several fake plants spread about as decoration. In the middle of the room was a table with two empty chairs set across from three people in suits sitting down. On the left was a bald, portly, African-Canadian man in square glasses, a black suit, and a red tie. Next to him was a blonde, middle aged, Caucasian woman in a grey pantsuit with an abundance of hairspray applied to her. And on the right of this group was a tan skinned man with slicked back black hair wearing sunglasses, a grey suit, and a small gold necklace instead of a tie. Chris and Chef sat at the two empty chairs in front of these people.

"Mr. Johnson, Ms. Johansson, Mr. Di Giovanni." Chris greeted this trio, looking at them from left to right. "How are my favourite producers doing?"

"Chrissy my man I'm doin' just fine." Di Giovanni casually replied.

"I too am also fine." Johnson replied in a complete deadpan.

"We're here to talk serious matters." Johansson added.

"Pfft, Di Giovanni gets me." Chris remarked.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" Johansson asked. "These are _very serious_."

"Fine, lay it on me." Chris requested.

"Well, we'll start out with the good news. We might be getting your show another season." Di Giovanni explained.

"Our network's most popular series right now is reality show 'The Ridonculous Race'. And not only that, but one of our stars, Blaineley O'Halloran, is hosting her own reality program next year." Johansson began.

"Something about locking a bunch of strangers in a house together." Johnson added.

"Man, that's a great idea. Why didn't we think of that one sooner?" Chef wondered.

"Anyway, point is reality shows are back on the rise." Di Giovanni went on. "And, one of this network's biggest shows has always been Total Drama. So the execs want to put together another season."

"Well, that certainly is great news." Chris remarked. "Man, the way Johansson was talking I thought things would be way worse."

"Well, there's a catch." Johansson told him.

"Dammit! I knew it!" Chris exclaimed.

"You see Mr. McLean, the higher-ups at this network, they don't want this show to continue on account of the… Various incidents that have occurred on it." Johnson explained.

"Don't get us wrong Chrissy baby, we _love_ that sort of thing." Di Giovanni added.

"Yes, but with you being arrested for mishandling of toxic waste, the whole Mal business after that, and then this Scarlett character nearly killing everybody. They just don't think another season of our show is the best idea." Johnson continued.

"And with the high safety standards on Don's show, it makes us like quite bad in comparison." Johansson went on.

"So I'm confused, are we gettin' another season or not?" Chef asked.

"Officially, it's up in the air." Johnson explained. "They want us back because we're good for ratings, but they don't want us back because we're dangerous. They'll only let us back on one condition."

"And what would that be?" Chris inquired.

"They want to look at some of your more… Unstable, contestants. Shawn, Izzy, Leonard. People like that and make sure they're not… Well, dangerous." Johansson explained.

"Ah, they're not dangerous. They're just eccentric." Chris replied. "Besides, even if they were dangerous it'd make for great television."

"Chrissy baby, we know." Di Giovanni replied. "But we're gonna have to evaluate these guys if we want another season."

"All right, fine. I'll do whatever it takes to keep this show running." Chris said. "So did you guys hire some sort of psychiatrist or something to look at our contestants?"

"Pfft, what kind of money do you think we have?" Di Giovanni replied.

"Most of our budget goes into designing challenges and fending off lawsuits." Johansson told Chris. "So we're going to have to find an alternative to a psychiatric professional."

"We were thinking of using someone who seemed familiar to these contestants." Johnson explained

"Ah, I see where this is going." Chris remarked. "You want me to evaluate them instead."

"Oh, absolutely not." Johnson replied. "We've found you have a very negative effect on most of your contestants. So we're going to use someone more neutral. But someone who isn't a professional either on account of our budget."

"And who are you choosing then?" Chris asked.

"We figured that Chef Hatchet would be our best choice." Johansson answered.

"Wait, what? Why me?" Chef asked. "I don't know nothin' about who's dangerous and who's not."

"Relax, we've got some training material that'll help you." Di Giovanni told him.

Di Giovanni reached beneath his seat and pulled out a book with a picture of a cartoon doctor on the cover titled ' _DIY Psychological Analysis_ '.

"Really?" Chef asked, sounding unamused. "Where'd you buy this, the bargain bin?"

"Wait, there's more." Di Giovanni said, oblivious to Chef's surly mood.

Di Giovanni grabbed a DVD with a blank cover out from under the chair. The words ' _Anger Management_ ' were written on the DVD case in marker.

"This some kinda instructional video?" Chef inquired.

"No, it's the movie ' _Anger Management_ ' with Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler." Di Giovanni explained. "I just couldn't find the cover. But I figure there's something useful in there."

"This really the best you got?" Chef asked the other two producers.

"Heh, we got budget constraints." Johansson nervously explained. "I'm sure you can make do."

"Shoulda gone back to culinary school…" Chef muttered to himself.

"So how many people does Chef here have to evaluate before we're allowed to go for another season?" Chris wondered.

Johnson grabbed a manila folder stuffed with paper from beneath his chair and placed it down on the table.

"In here is a comprehensive list of former contestants we want you to have a chat with." Johnson explained. "All you need to do is evaluate whether or not they're a danger to others."

"Wow, that's a lot of paper." Chris remarked, laughing a little. "Good luck, Chef."

"You're fine with this, aren't you Mr. Hatchet?" Johnson asked.

"Doesn't seem like I got a whole lotta choice." Chef replied. "It's either I do this, or I don't and our show goes off the air."

"Don't worry Chef. I'm sure you'll do just fine." Johansson reassured him.

"Yeah, and I bet you'll have lotsa fun too." Di Giovanni added.

"Let's not go that far." Johnson said. "This will be very serious works."

"Don't worry, Chef will do anything to save this show." Chris proudly stated.

"I don't get paid enough for this crap…" Chef muttered to himself.

* * *

 **And that was the introduction. I know it was on the short side but I didn't want to force it to be too long. Hopefully, the rest of these chapters will be longer. Not also not too long either. I'm hoping to find a nice middle length. I'm actually mostly done with the next chapter so it'll probably be up soon (Maybe even tomorrow). But that's enough about what's to come. I do hope you enjoyed this intro despite it being kind of short. Leave a review if you want to tell me your thoughts. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Eva

**I said at the end of the last chapter, this next one would be up relatively quickly. And I was right about that. Anyway, in this chapter Chef will be interviewing Eva. I'm not quite sure why I chose her to go first. I mean, I do like her but I'm not sure why she was the first character that came to my head when I was thinking up who to use first. Guess that doesn't really matter. By the way, thanks for the reviews last time. I appreciate things like that. Anyway, that's it for now. You can move on to the actual chapter.**

* * *

Almost a week had passed since Chris and Chef met with the producers and now, Chef was back at the network's headquarters. He walked down the hallway on one of the upper floors while speaking with someone on the other side of his cellphone.

"All right, I'm here just like I said." Chef told whoever was on the other end of the call. "Seriously, you'd better have been serious about me gettin' paid well."

"I assure you, you'll be compensated for your work." The voice of the producer Mr. Johnson replied. "Keeping our show on the air is quite important. And we can't do that until you finish this job."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've been through this already." Chef told him. "Who am I talkin' to anyway?"

"I'm sure you remember Eva." Johnson replied.

"Who?" Chef asked. "That name ain't ringin' any bells."

"She's a sporty young woman with some very serious anger issues we need you to look into." Johnson tried to jog his memory.

"You talkin' 'bout that girl Jo?" Chef asked.

"No, Eva. From season one." Johnson kept trying to remind him. "She was voted off second. We tried to bring her back but nobody liked her so she was voted out again. Although we probably need to bring Jo in too."

"Oh, right, I know that chick." Chef remembered. "Didn't like her all that much."

"Well, we did only put her in one season on account of her high amount of anger." Johnson admitted. "Look, just do your new job."

"Relax, I know what I'm doin'." Chef replied, stopping in front of a door. "All right, I'm hangin' up now."

"That's fine. I have to get dental surgery soon anyway." Johnson said.

"Hmm, that sounds pretty bad." Chef commented.

"No, I'm actually looking forward to it." Johnson stated in a serious tone. "Good look with Eva."

Chef pressed the disconnect button on his phone and pocketed it.

"Man, that guy's kinda weird." Chef remarked.

He entered the room he stopped in front of. The room was nearly identical to the one Chef and Chris had previously met with the producers in. Small, clean, and well lit. The main difference was the table inside it was smaller and had two chairs facing each other. And one of those chairs was occupied by Eva who was not looking too happy with her current situation.

"Finally, it's about time you got here." Eva remarked. "I've been waiting for like, five minutes."

"That's not too long." Chef pointed out as he sat down opposite to her.

"Shut up." Eva told him. "I don't like waiting. And I especially don't like having to come all the way down here for some stupid thing related to a show I haven't been on in years."

"Listen, I don't wanna be here either. But we can't do any more Total Drama 'til I evaluate all of Y'all." Chef said, taking a manila folder out from under the table.

"Huh? Evaluate?" Eva asked. "What's that s'posed to mean?"

"You'll see in a minute." Chef told her.

Chef flipped through the folder before taking out a few stapled together pieces of paper.

"Let's see here…" Chef trailed off, examining the paper. "Huh, your last name's Kolinski… Didn't know that. That Polish or something? Hmm, what else does it say… And it also says here you got some severe anger issues."

"That is slander!" Eva furiously declared. "Or maybe libel! I can never remember the difference. The point is I don't have anger problems anymore."

"Okay, I'm already takin' off points for that outburst." Chef remarked, grabbing a pen from his pocket and writing something down on the papers he took out.

"Why are you even here?" Eva wondered. "Since when're you a psychologist. You can't tell me if I have anger issues."

"Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are 'bout me bein' here." Chef told her. "I don't really know what to say here."

"Ugh, I'm in for a long day." Eva irritably commented.

"Hmm, how 'bout I start off with this: You ever have to take some sorta anger management seminar?" Chef asked.

"Hmmph, one time." Eva begrudgingly admitted. "Don't think it really did anything."

Chef silently scribbled more down on the papers.

"Ugh! Can't you show me what you're writing?" Eva demanded. "It's bugging the crap outta me!"

"It's confidential." Chef flatly stated.

Eva let out a frustrated groan.

"What am I even supposed to do here?" Eva asked. "Do you even know what you're doing?"

"Not a clue." Chef admitted. "All I got for resources was a bargain bin book and a comedy film. But I'm open to suggestions on what to do if you have any."

"My only suggestion is that I get out of here ASAP." Eva told him.

"Not happenin'. I gotta evaluate you. Not quite sure when I'll be done or how I'll do it but I'm gonna figure it out." Chef stated.

"Fine, I'm just not gonna cooperate." Eva said.

"Fine, be that way." Chef bitterly remarked.

"I will!" Eva barked back.

The two of them sat in silence for a few seconds, not quite sure what to say.

"Well... This day officially sucks." Eva spoke up.

"Hmm… I think I got an idea." Chef began. "You go do something you'd do on a normal day and I follow you around to see how you just act normally. That'd prob'ly help."

"Sure, why not." Eva replied. "Anything's better than sitting around in this stuffy office building."

"What do ya like to do on an average day?" Chef asked.

"Well, in my free time I enjoy training." Eva replied. "Any gyms nearby?"

"Lemme see what I can find." Chef told her, taking a smartphone out of his pocket. "Hmm… Oh hey, I got a membership at this place. And it's right around the corner."

A few moments later, Eva and Chef were walking down the street near the network headquarters.

"So, what's the point of this again?" Eva asked. "Coming all the way down here was a huge hassle for me."

"They want to make sure that you're not gonna be dangerous." Chef explained. "It ain't that hard to understand."

"Pfft, when have _I_ ever been dangerous?" Eva scoffed.

"We got whole lotta footage of you destroying stuff and threatening people." Chef pointed out.

"Look, I had a good reason to be ticked off all those times." Eva stated. "At least I think I did."

"Uh huh, right." Chef replied, doubting her.

"Y'know what, let's just walk in silence 'til we get to your gym." Eva decided. "I'm at my most pleasant when I don't have to talk to people."

"Sure, why not." Chef agreed. "If it makes my job easier, I'm all for it."

A bit later, Chef and Eva had found their destination and had entered a building known as "World of Fitness". The place had lots of mirrors and a bright green colour scheme to the walls and plenty of exercise equipment around from racks of dumbbells, to a row of treadmills, and several pull up bars. Eva looked around the gym's offering.

"Ah, now this is more like it." Eva remarked, her face seeming to be just on the verge of smiling. "I feel at home here. Hmm… I'll start off with the stair machine."

Eva walked up to one of the stair machines and pressed a few buttons on it. She began walking in place at a steady pace.

"Mind if I ask some questions while you exercise?" Chef requested.

"Go ahead. I'm in my happy place right now." Eva replied in an emotionless tone. "When I'm in my happy place it takes a lot to get me mad."

"All right, I'll start: Do you have any friends?" Chef asked.

"Pfft, of course I do." Eva responded as she continued walking in place. "Gonna be honest, I feel like some of the best friends I've made were on Total Drama. Is that kinda sad?"

"Not gonna answer that." Chef stated.

"Hmmph, fair enough." Eva admitted. "But seriously though, Izzy and Noah have been some of my closest friends."

"What about people not from the show?" Chef asked.

"Eh, I don't have many other friends." Eva confessed. "I mean, sure, there are people I talk to regularly but I wouldn't consider them close friends or anything. Most other people I know don't really talk to me. I figure they're intimidated 'cause of my stature."

"It's prob'ly 'cause of your anger problems." Chef remarked.

"Grr! I don't have any anger problems!" Eva insisted, speeding up slightly on the stair machine. "So stop saying I do!"

"All right, lemme go to another one of the questions written down here…" Chef said, taking out the papers on Eva. "Describe yourself in three words."

"Serious, focused, no-nonsense." Eva listed.

"That's four words." Chef noticed.

"Not if you put a little dash thing between the words 'No' and 'Nonsense'." Eva replied, speeding up a little.

"Those're called hyphens." Chef stated. "You know that, right?"

"Ugh, of course I know what they're called." Eva told him, sounding more annoyed and speeding up. "I just forgot for a second. It happens to everyone, okay! So why don't you-"

Eva, who had completely forgotten about her exercise by this point, was cut off when she misstepped and fell off the stair machine and onto her back.

"Grah! Dammit!" Eva exclaimed.

"Whoa, you okay?" Chef asked, extending his hand down to help Eva.

"Yeah, yeah, I've had worse… I'll just walk it off…" Eva grumpily muttered, grabbing Chef's hand and pulling herself up. "I mostly just hurt my pride."

"You should probably take a break from exercise for a little bit." Chef suggested.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Eva defiantly growled.

"I think this place has got a sauna somewhere." Chef told her. "You could unwind in there."

"I don't need a sauna!" Eva replied. "I just need to walk this off."

Eva stormed off to another part of the gym and Chef followed her over to a punching bag.

"This don't seem like the best idea." Chef remarked.

"Will you cut the judgemental attitude?" Eva requested. "I swear, if this shirt had sleeves, I'd be rolling them up."

"What's the s'posed to mean?" Chef asked.

"It means I want to punch you right now." Eva stated.

Eva began hitting the punching bag in a rhythmic motion, alternating between each hand.

"Y'know, the more you say stuff like _that_ the more likely I am to not accept you back." Chef pointed out.

"You've gotta be competitive if you wanna come out on top." Eva told him. "You're a big tough guy. You should know these things."

"There's a difference between tough and... Whatever you've got goin' on." Chef said. "You've got a serious problem."

"Stop calling it a problem." Eva grumpily requested, punching harder and faster. "It's what makes me stronger than everyone else. So could you please just-"

Eva was cut off when she punched the bag so hard, the piece of metal keeping the chain in place came loose and caused the punching bag to fall down.

"Dammit..." Eva muttered to herself.

"You wanna take me up on my steam room offer yet?" Chef asked.

"Fine." Eva begrudgingly accepted.

A little while later, Eva and Chef were inside a sauna together, both sweating heavily.

"Aw man…" Chef panted. "Doin' this thing with all my clothes on was a mistake…"

"Well, neither of us brought a swimsuit with us and it'd be weird for us to wear just towels." Eva stated. "So guess we're just stuck with this."

"I dunno, it feels kinda weirder to be in here in all our clothes." Chef commented.

The door to the sauna opened and a muscular man wearing black swim trunks entered. He froze up and looked back and forth between Eva and Chef.

"Uh… What's goin' on here?" The man asked.

"None of your business, meathead!" Eva spat.

The man quickly exited the spa.

"See what I mean." Chef said.

"Look, just observe me or ask questions or whatever." Eva told him. "I'm just gonna try to enjoy this sauna."

"Hmm… What else is written down on these papers?" Chef wondered, taking out Eva's informational papers again.

As soon as he inspected them, he realized that the steam had gotten the papers wet and as a result, made it very fragile and rather difficult to read.

"Aw crap…" Chef trailed off. "Well, guess I've gotta improvise."

Chef tossed the papers to the side.

"What'd that psychology book they gave me say?" Chef tried to recall. "Oh, right, that."

Chef looked over at Eva.

"So, uh, Eva. When do you feel the most happy?" Chef asked.

"To be honest, it's when I don't have to deal with people." Eva admitted. "It just seems like everybody annoys me. Even the people I'm friends with like Noah and Izzy can be irritating. I'm happiest when I'm by myself and I can do what I want."

"Hmm, interesting. If that paper was still useable, I'd be writing stuff down right about now." Chef commented. "I'll just take a mental note."

"Yeah, sure." Eva said. "Do whatever… I'm just trying to relax in here."

"Do your parents think you have anger issues?" Chef asked.

"Pfft, no." Eva replied. "They're the only people who support me and my leadership skills. Even if I can get a bit frustrated at people sometimes."

"So, you admit you have an anger problem." Chef remarked.

"Yeah, so what if I can't control my temper sometimes. Sue me." Eva grumpily said. "It's not like I don't want to change anything about it. Actually, trying to get my temper in check was one of the reasons I wanted to audition for your show in the first place."

"So you're sayin' you'd wanna come back to the show?" Chef questioned.

"Hmm… Maybe." Eva admitted. "To be honest, the first time kinda sucked… But I would like to prove myself… I'll think about it."

"Y'know you're soundin' a lot calmer than you did when we first met." Chef observed.

"Shut up, this doesn't mean we're friends or anything." Eva denied. "This sauna is just really relaxing. You go to a really nice gym."

"This is the stuff you can pay for when you're a semi-celebrity." Chef replied.

"Are we done here?" Eva asked. "I'm getting kinda tired of this."

"Yeah, I think I got enough outta you to make a decision." Chef said. "You go home now or whatever."

"Nah, I think I'm gonna stay at this gym for just a little bit more." Eva told him. "Maybe go over to the bench press and intimidate someone with my strength and skill."

"That something you do a lot?" Chef wondered.

"Pfft, yeah, it's fun." Eva stated. "Anyway, see ya later."

Eva got up and exited the sauna.

"Man, that wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be." Chef commented.

Later, Chef was leaving the gym on his own.

"I'd better get a fresh copy of Eva's info." Chef reminded himself.

He began walking back in the direction of the network headquarters when his cellphone began ringing. Chef took his phone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Y'ello? Who's there?" Chef asked.

"Hey, Chef, it's me." Chris identified himself from the other line. "Just wanted to check up on how the whole thing with Eva went. Lemme guess, she kicked you in the groin."

"Very funny." Chef replied, sounding unamused. "We just talked and I think I can safely say that she ain't dangerous."

"Really? 'Cause I remember her being _really_ crazy." Chris recalled.

"She's 'Reality TV' crazy. Not 'Should be in prison' crazy." Chef told her. "She's actually pretty nice once ya get to know her. But just in case we might wanna make sure our interns know basic self defense. Can never be too careful."

"Great. And you wrote this all down in her file, right?" Chris said.

"Yeah, about that. All those papers on Eva kinda got steamed." Chef explained.

"Steamed?" Chris confusedly repeated. "How?"

"They ended up in a sauna. Long story." Chef responded. "Also, you might wanna skip gym for a little bit. Eva's takin' a free trial at our gym. Don't want you to get beat up."

"Thanks for the warning." Chris replied. "Wait, did you take her to our gym?"

"Listen, I'm not an actual psychologist. Or psychiatrist. Whatever I'm 'sposed to be." Chef said. "Point is, _this_ is how I get results."

"All right, fair enough." Chris remarked. "How many more of our contestants do you have to interview?"

"Too many." Chef flatly stated.

"Haha, good luck buddy." Chris laughed. "Catch you later."

Chris hung up on the other end and Chef put his phone away.

"Hmm, I wonder if the next guy I gotta interview is gonna be weirder or not." Chef commented to himself as he resumed walking once more. "Prob'ly don't wanna know."

* * *

 **And that's the end. I've already begun thinking out how the next chapter will go and it will most likely be out next week. These are a lot easier to write than my previous stories and I already have lots of inspiration about what I want to do next. I don't have much else to say other than that is was fun to write. And as usual, please review if you want me to know what you thought about this chapter. Thanks for reading.**


	3. Shawn

**And the third chapter is up now. I finished it a lot quicker than I thought I would. I'm not sure if the rest of this story will keep up the pace though. But that's not important. Also, to answer a few questions from the reviews, this is on a different timeline than my stories Total Drama Winners and Total Drama Losers and Chef will interview at least one contestant from each generation (Except the Ridonculous Race). And also, thank you for the reviews, I enjoy receiving feedback on my story. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, we can move on to the actual chapter.**

* * *

A few days had passed since his previous interview and Chef was back at the network's building. He was inside an elevator going upwards and speaking to someone on the phone.

"Okay, who am I interviewing this time?" Chef asked whoever was on the phone.

"Great question." The voice of one of the producers, Ms. Johansson, replied. "It says here that Shawn is the one you're going to be evaluating today."

"Uh huh… Is the one who thinks he's a wizard or the one who's afraid of zombies?" Chef inquired.

"The latter." Johansson told him.

"I ain't lookin' forward to this." Chef remarked.

"You need to be impartial. You can't fail him just because he's a weirdo." Johansson reminded Chef. "Now, if he's a _dangerous_ weirdo that's a different story. Understand?"

"Yeah, I got it." Chef said. "I think I'm startin' to get the hang of things. I mean, I did pretty good with Eva didn't I?"

"Don't get too confident." Johansson instructed. "Remember, you're not _actually_ a psychology expert."

"Listen, lady, _you're_ the one who hired me to do this." Chef pointed out. "So lemme do my job."

"Fine, fair enough." Johansson said.

The elevator doors opened and Chef stepped out into the hallway.

"Just try to keep things professional." Johansson continued.

"Don't worry, I will." Chef insisted.

"Great. Well, I need to go now." Johansson replied. "Bye now."

Johansson hung up on the other end.

"Hmmph, who's she to question me?" Chef commented as he put his phone away. "I think I'm pretty professional."

Chef stopped in front of the door leading to the same room he was using previously. He entered the room where Shawn was already waiting. The conspiracy theorist was nervously looking around the room and shifting around in his chair. Chef ignored this and sat across from him at the table.

"All right Shawn, let's get this over with." Chef told him. "Just answer a few questions and we'll be done in a flash."

"Nice try, I'm not answering anything." Shawn defied his instructions.

"Goddammit…" Chef quietly whispered to himself before looking Shawn directly in the eyes and raising his voice to a normal tone. "Why not exactly?"

"You don't just get an email out of the blue telling you that someone wants to make sure you're not 'Dangerous' or 'Unstable' and _not_ get suspicious." Shawn explained. "That's code for: 'The government wants to shut me up'!"

"Shawn, you can relax." Chef tried to calm him. "Ya know who I am. I'm trustworthy, ain't I?"

"Eh… I have a very small list of people I trust." Shawn stated. "And you aren't one of the people on it."

Chef groaned in frustration before pulling the folder full of the contestants files out from under his chair. He flipped through it and grabbed Shawn's file before taking a pen out of his pocket and writing something on it.

"Hey! What are you writing?" Shawn asked. "You gotta tell me. Why do you even have a file on me?"

"It's part of my new job." Chef explained, looking down at his file. "Let's see what it says 'bout you… Huh, not all that much."

"I like to keep my life private." Shawn told him. "I don't think you'll find anything too useful on there."

"Hold up, it says here the producers want me to look into your, quote, 'Extreme paranoid behavior'." Chef said. "Yep, tell me somethin' I don't know."

"I'm not paranoid, I'm just smart about the way I live." Shawn explained.

"Gimme a moment. I'm just gonna step outside for a few seconds." Chef told Shawn, standing up from his chair. "And don't you think about tryin' to leave while my back is turned."

Chef exited the room and took out his phone before dialing a number into it. After waiting a few moments for a response, someone on the other side picked up.

"Whatta you want?" Johansson asked from the other line. "I thought we just talked."

"Listen, I just had a short chat with Shawn and I'm pretty sure the kid's completely nuts." Chef stated. "Can we just not let him back on the show and let it be done with?"

"Hmmm…" Johansson trailed off in thought. "No. I think you gotta evaluate him a little more than that."

"Since when're you an expert here?" Chef asked.

"Well, I'm not." Johansson admitted. "But neither are you."

"Fine, you got a point." Chef confessed. "But what am I s'posed to do with this freak?"

"I'm sure you can figure something out." Johansson told him. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a beauty appointment to get to."

Johansson hung up on the other end. Chef let out an exasperated sigh and went back into the room. The first sight he saw was Shawn with one leg up on the sill of the now opened window in what appeared to be an attempt to get out.

"Hey!" Chef yelled. "The hell do you think you're doin'!?"

"Oh, I was just…" Shawn nervously began, trying to think of a lie. "… Escaping from this building…"

The two of them paused for a few moments, Chef with a stone-faced look of anger on his face and Shawn looking anxious.

"Y'know, coming up with excuses is harder than you'd think." Shawn commented, stepping down from the sill and closing the window.

Shawn sheepishly sat down at the table.

"You realize we're pretty high up right now." Chef pointed out.

"I coulda climbed." Shawn insisted. "Whatever, I'm going to find a way out of this place."

"All right, listen up. I've got a plan right now." Chef told Shawn. "I'll follow you around while you do something you'd do on a normal day. Maybe ask you a few questioned. It worked for Eva, so it'd better work for you."

"Hmmm… I would have the home field advantage. And it'd be easier to stop you if you tried to brainwash me." Shawn said. "Sure, I'll go with it. I usually spend most of my free time at home or out in the wilderness."

"Which'd take longer to get to?" Chef asked.

"I live pretty far out so it'd take about the same." Shawn told him.

"Hmmph, I'd feel safer at your house." Chef stated. "We'll go there."

"Great. You won't regret this." Shawn said.

Much later, Chef found himself inside a minivan with tinted windows and painted a camouflage with Shawn in the driver's seat.

"Why do you own this?" Chef asked.

"We've been driving for almost an hour and you only just now ask?" Shawn remarked.

"It took a while to take in what was goin' on." Chef explained. "Now answer the damn question."

"This car is obviously my zombie apocalypse survival vehicle." Shawn told him. "Hence the camo."

"Okay…" Chef trailed off. "But why a minivan?"

"My mom wouldn't let me buy a new car so I had to renovate one of her old ones." Shawn said.

"All right, fair enough." Chef admitted. "Still ain't over how surreal this whole thing is."

"Welcome to my life." Shawn proudly told him. "A world of survival."

"How much longer 'til we get to your place?" Chef asked.

"Oh, we're actually there." Shawn revealed.

Chef looked out the window and saw that they had parked in the driveway of a normal looking white painted house with a well-kept lawn and picket fence in what appeared to be just an average neighbourhood.

" _You_ live _here_?" Chef asked in disbelief. "In this nice, non-crazy lookin' neighbourhood."

"Oh c'mon, I'm not _that_ crazy." Shawn insisted.

Chef and Shawn exited the car and approached the house. Once they were on the doorstep, Shawn rang the doorbell. After a moment, the door opened to reveal a cheery looking brunette woman with a beehive hairdo wearing a red short-sleeved dress with white polka dots.

"Well, hiya!" The woman enthusiastically greeted. "Looks like my little Shawnie's back from his meeting early. And he brought back a friend."

The woman, presumably Shawn's mother, looked over her shoulder.

"Honey! Shawn's back!" The woman called out.

"Shawn, this chick's too normal to be your mom." Chef told him.

"I'm not as weird as you think, man." Shawn replied. "I'd like to say I have an average life."

A man with short neatly done auburn hair wearing a red sweater with a white undershirt, horn-rimmed glasses, and tan pants joined the woman.

"Ah, Shawn, good to see ya there sport." The man greeted before looking up at Chef. "Oh, you must be that Chef fellow my son went off to see. I'm Mitchell and this is my lovely wife Michelle."

"Yep, that's gonna get confusing." Chef remarked to himself, before looking back at the couple. "Uh, we're here 'cause I figured I'd be able to get a better view of what Shawn's like at home."

"Well, come on in." Mitchell told them. "You two can hang out in the rec room and Michelle can fix you up a snack."

"Mitchell just installed a pinball machine down there." Michelle added.

"Y'know Shawn, I'm likin' your house." Chef commented.

A little bit later, Chef was in the basement rec room of Shawn's house. The room had a bright colour scheme and had all sorts of entertainment devices from old arcade machines to a pool table. The walls were decorated with vintage movie poster, particularly sci-fi and horror films. The duo was sitting across from each other with Shawn in a bean bag chair and Chef in a recliner. A circular coffee table was between them.

"Seriously man, you got a real nice house." Chef observed. "Ain't at all what I expected."

"Yeah, it's pretty cool if I do say so myself." Shawn proudly boasted. "So, uh, anyway, do you have any more questions for me. Now that I feel at home and such."

"Uh, sure." Chef replied. "For starters, do you always act as paranoid as you were earlier. Or as nuts as you were when you were on the show."

"Eh, sometimes. Especially when under pressure." Shawn admitted. "But I've been feeling more grounded lately. That's probably 'cause of Jasmine."

"Oh, right. You two still dating?" Chef asked.

"Yep, for a long distance relationship, it's going pretty well." Shawn replied. "I've been worrying less about zombies recently."

"So explain that freak out you were havin' earlier?" Chef pointed out.

"Listen, the email I got about meeting you wasn't too detailed." Shawn explained. "It sounded really, _really_ suspicious. I was just taking precautions."

"Hmmph, I should start sendin' these emails out myself." Chef commented. "I should also start findin' out who I gotta interview before I actually do it."

Shawn's mother Michelle entered the rec room carrying a glass bowl filled with dried fruit and nuts.

"I got you boys some snacks." Michelle cheerily informed them. "Hope you like 'em."

"Dried fruit?" Chef asked. "Really?"

"Well, if you aren't a fan of that I can get you some canned fruit." Michelle offered.

"Canned? Don't ya got anything fresh?" Chef requested.

"No, don't be silly." Michelle nonchalantly replied. "Fresh food won't do ya any good when the apocalypse starts."

Chef sat in a stunned silence for a few moments, processing what had just been said.

"You jokin' or something?" Chef asked.

"Why of course not." Michelle replied. "You always gotta be ready for the end of the world."

"Is this where you get it from?" Chef inquired, turning to Shawn.

"Well, yeah, doomsday prepping is a family tradition." Shawn explained.

"Uh huh, sure does." Michelle cheerily added. "Halley's Comet, the Red Scare, and now, of course, the impending zombie apocalypse. We've been doing it for generations. I am so glad I married a man who loves the apocalypse as much as I do."

"Y'know what Mitchell, we'll just keep the dry fruit." Chef decided.

"It's Michelle." Michelle corrected. "And whatever you say."

Michelle put the bowl of fruit and nuts down before leaving the room.

"So, that's interesting." Chef commented. "You're all paranoid 'cause of your parents."

"Well, it's what I grew up with." Shawn admitted. "They taught me that you never know when disaster could strike so you should always be prepared."

"All right, I can kidna get that." Chef confessed. "… But why zombies?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Shawn asked.

"No, not even a little." Chef told him.

"Well it's a bit of a long story." Shawn began. "You see, it started when an organization called-"

"Y'know what, I don't have time to listen to conspiracy theories." Chef cut him off. "I'm gonna ask psychiatrist questions… Whatever those are."

"Go right ahead." Shawn replied. "I'm feelin' less crazy now that I'm home."

"All right, how 'bout this." Chef began. "If you came back on the show, would you be less paranoid than before?"

"Uh… Probably." Shawn said. "Especially around the people I met on Pahkitew Island. Jasmine in particular. But I feel like I'd be open to meeting new people too."

"And how paranoid would ya be about zombies?" Chef asked.

"It depends. Zombies are a very real threat, you know." Shawn replied. "If we were on an island again I'd be less worried since the zombies couldn't get to us. And if an outbreak started on the island I'd be able to contain it pretty easily. Of course, if it was anywhere else I'd be _a lot_ more worried about the potential of a zombie outbreak."

"Right…" Chef muttered to himself, taking out Shawn's file and writing a bunch of notes down.

"Hey, what're you saying about me?" Shawn asked.

"Can't tell you." Chef replied. "It's all confidential and whatnot."

At that moment, Shawn's father Mitchell entered the rec room and approached the duo.

"Hey ya, just wanted to check up on you guys." Mitchell greeted. "How's everything going?"

"It's goin' great. I've gotta a whole lotta insight into how Shawn's brain works." Chef replied. "… More than I _ever_ wanted to know."

"Well, I'm sure glad you're learnin' a lot." Mitchell cheerily replied.

"So this whole family's into Armageddon survival?" Chef questioned.

"Yep, you betcha. Well, Michelle's side of the family." Mitchell told him. "My parents always thought I was nuts."

"How'd you and your wife meet anyway?" Chef asked.

"Hey, aren't you s'posed to be interviewing me?" Shawn pointed out.

"I'm in charge, I do what I want." Chef stated. "Plus I really wanna find out more about your family."

"Well, it's actually quite the classic love story." Mitchell began. "Boy and girl meet in college, they bond over their mutual fear of the apocalypse, they fall in love."

"Uh huh… Right." Chef remarked. "That sure is… _Something_."

"Thanks." Mitchell replied. "You know, me and Michelle have had this house for a long time. Actually, funny little tidbit, this rec room used to be a Y2K bunker. Unfortunately, the world didn't end in 2000 like we thought it would."

"How is that a bad thing?" Chef asked.

"I dunno, I always thought the apocalypse sounded a little fun." Mitchell explained, still sounding happy. "Luckily the zombies are coming soon. Well, anway, you boys better finish up your chat."

Mitchell left the room.

"Huh, I guess you didn't inherit your parents' enthusiasm 'bout the end of the world." Chef remarked to Shawn.

"Yeah, it's a scary thing to think about." Shawn admitted. "But luckily, I'm prepared for if it ever happens."

"Y'know, I think I was able to get enough info on you." Chef commented.

"And what's your final decision about me?" Shawn asked.

"Meh, you're a weirdo but you ain't gonna hurt anyone." Chef told him. "Same goes for your parents."

"Wow, that's the nicest thing you've ever said about me." Shawn said.

"I'm gettin' outta here before things get even weirder." Chef stated.

Moments later, Chef was standing on the sidewalk just outside Shawn's house.

"C'mon, when's that cab gonna get here?" Chef wondered.

Chef's thoughts were cut short when his phone began ringing. He took his smartphone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Who's there?" Chef asked whoever was on the other side.

"Chef, my man. Just wanted to check up on how you were doing." The voice of producer Mr. Di Giovanni answered. "I tried calling the ol' HQ but they said you weren't there. What gives?"

"I went over to Shawn's house." Chef explained. "He was freakin' out when we were at the network building so I decided to put him somewhere he'd be comfortable with."

"Ah ha, so that book I gave you _did_ have some good advice." Di Giovanni proudly said. "I knew it."

"Nah, came up with this on my own." Chef told him. "That book of yours didn't do a thing."

"I still say it helped." Di Giovanni said. "Oh, by the way, what's the final verdict on Shawn. Is he safe?"

"Well, he's certainly got a few screws loose, that's for sure." Chef stated. "But I wouldn't worry 'bout him though. He don't seem dangerous. Just really, really weird."

"Great news, this show's gonna get back on track. I can feel it." Di Giovanni replied. "I'll get to work at booking your next evaluation. Ciao Bella!"

Di Giovanni hung up on the other line.

"Hmm, I think I'm startin' to get used to this job already." Chef remarked. "… I ain't comfortable with that."

* * *

 **And that's the end of chapter three. Huh, why do I almost always start these authors notes with "And". Whatever, that's not important. Hope you liked this chapter because I certainly had fun with it. I especially liked writing Shawn's parents. I dunno, I thought the concept behind them I came up with was funny. I already know who Chef is going to interview next and I predict that the next chapter should be up next week. Anyway, if you want to share your thoughts on this chapter with me please be sure to leave a review.**


	4. Staci

**I finished chapter four now. This one's just quite a bit shorter than the last two so I hope you don't mind. It turns out that Staci is kinda hard to write for on account of having really only one (Maybe two) noticeable character traits. Thanks for reviewing last time, I appreciate hearing what you all have to say. Also, congratulations to Animation Advenures for correctly guessing which chacater was up next. Anyway, I haven't got much else to talk about so please enjoy the actual chapter now.**

* * *

Once again, on an early morning at the offices of a TV network, Chef was walking up the stairs inside a stairwell while talking on his cellphone.

"Can you believe that _all_ the elevators are outta order today?" Chef grumpily asked into the phone. "I mean, what're the chances?"

"Yikes, bummer." Chris replied from the other line, barely able to contain his laughter. "So, who're you interviewing today?"

"I got a call from one of the producers and they told me I gotta talk to _Staci_." Chef told Chris. "I ain't lookin' forward to this."

"Wow, you gotta take the stairs _and_ talk to Staci. Talk about bad luck." Chris remarked.

"Can ya at least try to encourage me?" Chef asked.

"Well, how about you think of interviewing Staci like ripping off a Band-Aid?" Chris suggested. "If you get it out of the way now, it'll hurt a lot less later."

"I don't think that analogy really works." Chef told him.

"Well, I liked it." Chris stated.

Chef made it to the landing on one of the floors and exited into the hallway.

"I don't even get why she's here." Chef admitted. "Girl lies a lot, big deal."

"Listen, I didn't put together this list." Chris replied. "You just have to go for it."

"Well, I'll try." Chef stated.

"Good for you." Chris said. "Well, I'd better get going. See ya."

Chris hung up on the other side.

"This interview had better be short…" Chef grumbled.

After walking down the hallway for a few moments, Chef came across the room he had used before.

"Here we go." Chef remarked.

He entered the room where Staci was seen patiently sitting at the table.

"Oh, hi ya." Staci cheerily greeted. "This is a nice room. Very nice view out the window. Did ya know that windows were invented by my-"

"We'll get to that later." Chef cut her off.

"Oh, all right." Staci replied.

Chef sat down in front of Staci and pulled the folder full of contestant files out from under the chair.

"So why did you guys wanna see me?" Staci asked. "I know the email I got said this was a psych evaluation but I think I'm pretty stable. The world's first psychologist was my great, great, great, uncle Andrew. Yah, before him nobody knew what went on inside anybody's heads."

"Uh huh, right..." Chef uncaringly trailed off, flipping through the folder and pulling out a few papers on Staci. "What's it say 'bout you…"

"Prob'ly a lotta interesting stuff." Staci stated.

"It don't say much actually… Got your full name… Hmm, says the main reason they want me to interview you is 'casue of your 'Pathological Lying'." Chef noted.

"Pfft, 'Pathological Lying'. That so totally isn't true." Staci denied. "It's in my nature to tell the truth. Yah, in fact, I am very distantly related to George Washington. And he couldn't tell a lie either."

"Y'know, the one thing ya got goin' for you is that you're calmer than the other two I interviewed." Chef stated.

"Ah, thanks." Staci replied.

"I don't really know where to begin with you." Chef admitted. "Let's start with this… Why do you always lie?"

"I keep telling everyone: I don't lie." Staci insisted. "Yah, it's just some super crazy understanding."

"Y'know what, let's start with something simpler… Tell me a little bit about you." Chef instructed.

"Well, for starters, everyone in my family's super cool and famous." Staci began. "Yah, my dad's a secret agent and my mom's in charge of a big corporation. And that's just the beginning. Did you ever know who invented electronic guitar tuners? Well, it was my-"

"No, don't tell me 'bout your family." Chef told her. "Tell me 'bout _you_."

"Oh… All right, lemme think." Staci replied. "Uh… I... Hmm…"

"Take yer time." Chef instructed her. "I got a lotta free time."

"No, no, there's something interesting about me… It's that…" Staci trailed off, still trying to come up with something. "Oh, hey, did ya know that my great, great, great, aunt Gertrude invented blimps? Yah, before her people only used airplanes to get around. Of course, airplanes were invented by-"

"Can ya stop talkin' 'bout your family?" Chef requested, cutting her off. "Just name one thing about yourself. Is it that hard?"

"I'm trying. Problem is I'm not that interesting of a gal." Staci commented. "But _the rest_ of my family on the other hand. Well, I don't even know where to begin. For example-"

"Stop with the family talk." Chef cut her off once more. "C'mon just give it your best shot."

"All right. Uh… Hmmm…." Staci thoughtfully stared off at the ceiling.

"I'm gonna be here a while…" Chef whispered to himself.

"Y'know…. I _really_ _like_ cookie dough ice cream." Staci finally managed. "Yep, good stuff. Oh, also mint chocolate chip is pretty good."

"Anything else?" Chef pressed on asking.

"Lemme think a bit more…" Staci trailed off again. "Uh… Pink is my favourite colour."

"Is this really it?" Chef wondered.

"I'm trying my best." Staci insisted. "The problem is everyone in my family is so much more interesting than me. Like my great-"

"Y'know what, I've got a plan." Chef stated, stopping her from talking once more. "We're gonna go out somewhere. Maybe that'll help you think more. I already tried something like this out with Eva and Shawn so I might as just go with it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

"Ooh, can we get some lunch?" Staci suggested. "I know this food truck in the neighbourhood, and I'm like, best friends with the owner."

"Uh huh, sure you are." Chef replied, doubting Staci. "All right, let's get some lunch at this place."

"Super." Staci said. "Hey, speaking of which, did you know the first ever food truck was run by my great uncle Henry. Yah, it sold tacos. Good stuff."

Chef rolled his eyes in frustrations.

"Let's just get goin'." Chef told her.

Staci nodded, an excited grin still on her face.

A little bit later, Chef and Staci were walking down the street together.

"This is gonna be so much fun." Staci excitedly remarked. "I don't really go out with friends that often. All of them are too jealous of my cool family to hang out with me. Yah, it's tough being so awesome and popular."

"Uh huh, right." Chef replied, clearly not believing Staci. "How much longer 'til we reach this food truck?"

"Just another block or two." Staci replied.

"And what kinda food does this place sell exactly?" Chef asked.

"All kinds of sandwiches." Staci stated. "Speaking of which, did you know sandwiches were invented by my great, great, great uncle Earl?"

"Right, sure." Chef said, sounding annoyed.

The two of them continued walking a little while longer. Eventually, they both stopped in front of a food truck parked on the side of the street. The truck was painted a bright orange and had a logo made up with big red letters reading "Sandwich Town".

"So is this the place?" Chef asked.

"Yep." Staci replied.

Staci went up to the window of the food truck and rang the service bell.

A skinny tanned man in his early twenties with curly black hair stuffed in a hairnet approached the counter. He wore a black-t shirt, a white apron, and slightly torn jeans.

"Hey, Staci! How's my favourite girl doing?" The man greeted.

"Oh, I'm doing just fine." Staci replied. "Just came here for a bite to eat."

"Huh, well I'll be damned. Guess she was tellin' the truth 'bout that one." Chef quietly remarked to himself.

"Freddie, this is my friend Chef." Staci introduced Chef.

"Don't call us friends." Chef told her.

"Oh, well, this is my _acquaintance_ Chef." Staci restated. "Anyway, it's his first time here. Have any recommendations for him?"

"Start off with just the classic hamburger before ya get into any of the crazy stuff." The food truck owner, apparently named Freddie, answered.

"I'm a cook. I can handle whatever you got." Chef stated.

"Whatever you say, man." Freddie replied. "So what can I get you two?"

"I'll have the Carnivore Sub." Staci told him.

"Hmm…. Lemme think…" Chef said, looking at the menu posted on the side of the truck. "I'll have the… Spicy Delight."

"Good choice, dude." Freddie remarked. "Your food'll be ready in just a sec."

Freddie disappeared into his food truck.

"How long will this take?" Chef asked Staci.

Staci simply shrugged in response.

"So how're you two friends?" Chef inquired.

"You mean me and Freddie?" Staci responded.

"Yeah, you ain't exactly the most popular person." Chef said. "So how'd you two get to know each other."

"Well, I started going to his food truck 'cause I heard it was good and told him about my super cool family." Staci replied. "And guess what, unlike some people, he actually believed me."

"So I'm guessin' he ain't that smart." Chef sarcastically quipped.

"You're just jealous." Staci stated. "Just like the rest of them."

"Let's just move on from your family." Chef decided. "Now that you've' had some time to think, tell me a little bit 'bout yourself."

"Oh, I think I finally got one." Staci replied. "I used to work part time at a hair salon."

"There's no way a teenager got to be a hairdresser without training." Chef doubted.

"Well, I wasn't a stylist. I was an assistant." Staci clarified. "Yah, I got supplies from the back, manned the cash register, basically any odd job around the salon that the stylists wanted me to do."

"See you are an interesting person." Chef told her. "You don't need to lie 'bout your family get attention."

"I keep telling everyone, I'm not a liar." Staci insisted.

Before they could talk further, Freddie stuck his head out of the food truck window carrying two wrapped sandwiches.

"Yo! I got your orders right here!" Freddie announced.

Both customers grabbed their sandwiches and Staci handed him a twenty dollar bill.

"Thanks a lot." Staci told him.

"No problem." Freddie replied, handing Staci the change. "Have a good one, man."

Staci and Chef began walking down the street and unwrapping their sandwiches.

"So where do you wanna go now?" Chef asked.

"I dunno. Just figured we'd wander around 'til this interview ends." Staci said. "Speaking of which, the world's first interview was conducted by my great, great, great, great-"

"So tell me a 'lil bit more 'bout yourself." Chef interrupted.

"Oh, sure." Staci replied. "Well, I wanna go into forensic science eventually."

"Forensic science?" Chef repeated. "Why?"

"I dunno, always looked fun on TV." Staci said. "I watch a lotta crime shows. Oh, actually, I have an uncle who's an actor on Law and Order."

"Which actor is he?" Chef asked.

"Uh… One of them." Staci replied. "I'm not very close to that uncle."

"Uh huh, whatever you say." Chef sound, rolling his eyes at her.

"So do you have anything else you wanna ask me?" Staci asked.

"Nah, I think I got you figured out." Chef replied. "You can get outta here."

"Oh, all right. I'm gonna head down to the subway." Staci said. "Thanks for talking."

Staci began walking ahead of Chef. After a few feet, she turned around and looked at Chef.

"Oh by the way, did ya know that the first subway was invented, designed, and built by my great, great, great grandmother Georgia?" Staci asked. "Yah, pretty amazing stuff."

"Sure, sure. Whatever." Chef replied. "You get goin' now."

Staci happily nodded and began walking down the street some more.

"Weird girl." Chef remarked as he turned around and began wakling back in the direction of the network HQ.

As he walked and took a bite of his sandwich, Chef took a cellphone out of his pocket and dialed a number into it. After a few moments, someone picked up on the other line.

"Hey, Ms. Johansson, I just finished talkin' with Staci." Chef said.

"Ah, and how was she?" Johansson asked on the other side. "Will we be bringing her back?"

"Staci's a self-absorbed weirdo." Chef stated. "She's actually kinda sad sometimes. But overall she ain't gonna hurt nobody. Annoy 'em, sure. But she's completely harmless."

"Good to know." Johansson replied.

"I hate to say it, but she's the most normal person I've talked to so far." Chef admitted

"I must say Chef, you're doing quite well at this." Johansson remarked.

"Yeah, I'm really gettin' the hang of this." Chef bragged. "Hey, any chance I could start findin' out who I'm interviewing next. Or better yet, choose who I talk to next myself."

"No can do on that second part." Johansson stated. "Your ex-contestants live all over Canada and we can only accept who's available at the time. But as for the second part… We'll see what we can do. Bye for now."

Johansson hung up on the other side.

"If Staci is the most normal person I interviewed so far, I ain't lookin' forward to who's next." Chef commented to himself as he walked down the street and took another bit of his sandwich. "Man, this stuff's good."

* * *

 **And that's the chapter. It was surprisingly difficult to write on account of Staci's only characteristics being her compulsive lying and the fact that she always seems to be calm. But I think I was able to get some entertaining material out of it. Hopefully, you guys liked this chapter. Fun fact, the bit about her working at a hair salon and wanting to go into forsensics was actually stated in her Revenge of the Island bio. By the way, I already know who I'm going to have Chef interview next (Hint: It's a character from Pahkitew Island). The chapter will probably be up sometime next week. Anyway, if you want to tell me what you thought of this chapter please leave a review. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Ella

**And the newest chapter is out. As some of you were correctly able to guess, Ella is the next. Although, I am planning to have all the other characters you guys guessed be interviewed by Chef at this point. This chapter feels a little longer than the rest so I'm just going to cut right to the chase and let you read now. Enjoy.**

* * *

On one grey, overcast, morning, Chef was inside a crowded elevator at the TV network HG. As he rode, shoved into the wall by the other passengers, his phone began ringing.

"Seriously? Right now?" Chef asked, sounding frustrated.

Chef reached into his pocket, pulled out his smartphone, and, after some slight hesitation hit the answer button.

"Yeah, whadda ya want?" Chef grumpily asked.

"That is no way to address your superior." The voice of Johnson replied from the other line.

"Look man, the weather sucks and now I'm crammed into an elevator like a sardine." Chef told him. "I'm real angry right now. Just get to the point."

"Very well." Johnson said. "Remember how I informed you a few days ago about how Dave was going to be your next interviewee?"

"Yeah. Took you guys long enough to give me time to prepare _by the way_." Chef remarked.

"Well about that… He had to cancel yesterday. Something about him still being self-conscious about his hair." Johnson explained.

"Yer kiddin' me right?" Chef asked. "I had this whole thing planned out? Do I at least get to go home now?"

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Several people, including Chef, stepped out into the hallway.

"No, not exactly." Johnson replied as Chef began walking down the hall. "We got a replacement."

"And who would that be?" Chef asked.

"Well, the only person who had a free enough schedule to come down here last minute at the time was Ella." Johnson explained.

"The princess girl who sings a lot?" Chef replied. "Man, really? I remember that chick being kinda annoying."

"Look, just deal with it." Johnson told him. "You've had a great track record so far."

"Hmmph, fair enough." Chef said. "I guess I can come up with something."

"That's great." Jonson remarked. "I'd best be off now. Good luck."

Johnson hung up on the other end.

"Hmm, wonder what I'll do for Ella?" Chef wondered out loud.

After walking down the hall a bit more, Chef stopped in front of the usual room he interviews people in.

"Okay, here it goes." Chef said, opening the door.

He entered the room where Ella was already sitting down at the table.

" _It is so good to see you as you conduct this interview_!" Ella cheerily sang upon seeing Chef.

"So you're still doin' that, huh?" Chef asked.

"Yes, it's very fun." Ella replied. "Would you like to try?"

"No." Chef flatly stated.

Chef sat down at the table in front of Ella and grabbed the folder of contestants files from under the table.

"Ooh, what's that?" Ella curiously prodded.

"Just some info on you." Chef stated. "It's s'posed to help me. Hmmm…. Says the producers want me to look into your 'Extreme Childish Behavior'."

"I don't think I'm very childish." Ella replied.

"You're dressed like a princess and burst into song randomly." Chef pointed out. "Sounds pretty childish to me."

"It's just some harmless fun." Ella stated.

"I know it's harmless, but it's also really weird." Chef told her. "Why exactly do you dress like this anyway?"

"Because it makes me look pretty." Ella answered.

"Look, be honest, do you have any friends?" Chef asked. "I know this might sound a 'lil bit judgemental, but you don't look like a real social butterfly."

"Oh, I have many adorable animal friends." Ella told him. "I don't see them very often on account of the fact I live in an apartment."

"What about human friends?" Chef asked. "Got any of those."

"Uh… Well, I keep in touch with some of the people who were on my season over the internet." Ella answered. "I try to talk to some of the people at school but they always seem to have something else going on."

"Uh huh, got it." Chef replied, writing something down in Ella's folder.

"You know I really don't think I need to be interviewed." Ella commented. "I think I'm a very stable person."

"Listen, I already told ya, most people think it's weird to dress like a princess." Chef stated. "Including me."

"I think I'm very normal." Ella remarked. "Have any more questions for me?"

"Not right now, but I do have a plan." Chef replied. "I've kinda got a thing goin' where I take whoever I'm interviewing out to somewhere they like. Usually, it makes them feel less stressed and stuff."

"Oh, well, since I've been banned from my local mall I'd like to see if there are any malls near here." Ella told Chef. "Would that be possible?"

"Sure, let's head on out." Chef told her. "I think I know a place."

"Oh, how delightful." Ella replied. "Let's go!"

A little bit later, Chef and Ella were approaching the front entrance to a large local mall.

"Ooh, this is going to be very fun." Ella stated.

"Uh huh, sure." Chef unenthusiastically said. "C'mon, let's get in there."

Chef and Ella entered the mall. The latter of the two excitedly looked around at the various shops.

" _Well, we are right here at the mall and I sure do hope I get to see it all!_ " Ella happily sang, twirling around in the process.

"Isn't singing what got you banned from your local mall?" Chef pointed out.

"You're right." Ella realized. "I'll attempt to minimize that."

"Where do you wanna go first?" Chef asked.

"I'd like to go to the toy store if they have one." Ella responded. "C'mon, let's go find out."

Ella began leading Chef in a seemingly random direction.

"Hold up, the toy store?" Chef questioned. "You sure?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I-" Ella began before cutting herself off. "Oh, is this one of those things that makes me seem 'Childish'?"

"Well, yeah." Chef told her. "Ain't many teenagers who go to the toy store to buy things for themselves."

"Hmm, well, I do." Ella commented. "Just keep following me. We can talk at the store."

"All right fine, but I'm gonna be askin' questions when we get there." Chef said.

Ella gave an understanding nod.

A few minutes later, Chef found himself standing inside a toy store surrounding by plush animals as Ella looked at said animals with a gleam of joy in her eyes.

"Ooh, look at this one." Ella remarked, holding up a stuffed cat. "Isn't this an adorable little kitty cat?"

"So, it's cool if I ask you some questions now, right?" Chef asked.

"Oh, naturally." Ella replied, putting back the cat and picking up a stuffed owl.

"All right, I don't know how to put this but: Why are you like this?" Chef asked.

"That's a rather vague question." Ella pointed out.

"All right, lemme try again." Chef said. "Why exactly do you love princesses?"

"I already told you." Ella replied. "It's because princesses are pretty."

"That ain't a good enough explanation." Chef told her. "Look, I ain't gonna pretend I know what teenage girls are into. But I know damn well you're the only one who's still in her princess phase."

"Hey!" Ella exclaimed. "Watch your language."

"Look, just answer the dam- Answer the dang question." Chef said.

"Very well." Ella responded, putting the owl back. "Well, I think it was in some storybook my father read to me. I can't remember which one. But ever since then I've just loved princesses. It always seemed to fun to get to wear dresses all the time and have animals love you."

"But why haven't you gotten tired of it?" Chef asked. "Usually girls your age would be into, I dunno, rock music or cheerleading."

"Why would I get tired of being a princess?" Ella confusedly replied. "It has everything I ever want. Singing, cute animals, pretty dresses, and everyone loves you."

"Y'know even after you explained it I still don't understand you." Chef admitted. "Tell ya what, I'm gonna head to the food court and come up with a new strategy and you meet me there."

"All right. I'm just going to pick out one of these adorable plush animals and meet you there." Ella told him.

A little bit later, Chef was sitting at a table in the food court with of French fries and a hamburger in front of him. He seemed to be talking on the phone with someone.

"Hey, Johnson, you there?" Chef talked into the phone.

"What do you want?" Johnson responded on the other line.

"I'm havin' trouble with Ella." Chef answered. "I mean, I know she ain't dangerous…. But I can't figure out why she's like… _That_."

"If you know she isn't dangerous you can just leave." Johnson pointed out.

"As a psychiatrist, I have a duty to find out what makes my patients tick." Chef stated. "I ain't finished with Ella 'til I figure out why she acts the way she does."

"You aren't a real psychiatrist." Johnson reminded him.

"You ain't really helpin' me." Chef remarked. "Look, do you know any brain things that make you act weird? I wanna see if Ella has any of them."

"I'm leaving now." Johnson flatly stated.

Johnson hung up on the other side.

"Hmmph, some help that guy was." Chef remarked.

Just then, Ella walked over to him carrying a plush seal.

"Hello there Chef, what do you think of my cute little seal?" Ella asked.

"No comment." Chef said. "We got more stuff to talk about."

"Oh, please go on." Ella told him.

"So, how do your parents feel 'bout your whole princess thing?" Chef asked.

"They're fine with it." Ella said. "In fact, they seem quite supportive of me. I really don't see what the big deal is."

"Does anyone you know love princesses as much as you do?" Chef inquired.

"Well, I suppose not." Ella admitted. "But it doesn't matter. This is who I am."

"Look, I ain't tryin' to offend you." Chef told her. "And I know you ain't dangerous. But I just really wanna figure out why you act like this."

"I've already told you. I just think princesses are cute and things they do are fun." Ella explained once more.

"Look, where do you see yourself in five years?" Chef asked. "You're gonna have to get a job at some point. You really think you'd get hired if you show up to a job interview in a pink dress with puffy sleeves."

"Well, I've never thought about my future very much." Ella admitted. "I like to live in the moment. I'm sure I can get a job somewhere."

"Listen, I just think you need to be more realistic." Chef advised.

"Hmm… Or maybe it's _you_ who needs to be less realistic." Ella suggested.

"Huh? What's that s'posed to mean?" Chef asked.

"Come with me, I'll show you." Ella happily chirped, grabbing Chef by the hand.

"Hey, can't I finish my lunch first?" Chef requested.

"Oh don't worry, you can eat it later." Ella told him, pulling at his hand. "C'mon, let's go!"

"All right, guess I'm goin' with you now." Chef remarked, standing up.

Just a little bit later, Ella had led Chef over to an ice cream shop in the mall.

"Ta-da! We're here!" Ella cheered. "I paced this place on the way to the food court and thought it looked simply delightful."

"And why're we here?" Chef asked.

"I figured indulging a treat would lighten you up." Ella explained. "Don't worry, I already picked an order out for you when I stopped by here."

"Huh, this ain't goin' the direction I expected." Chef commented.

The two of them entered the ice cream shop which had a distinct pink and white colour scheme and seemed to be modeled after a 1950's diner. Behind the counter was a pale, bored looking teenage girl with black hair in a ponytail.

"Welcome to Sweet Caroline's Ice Cream, I hope you're having a sweet day." The teenaged girl manning to till unenthusiastically greeted.

"Well, I certainly am!" Ella cheerily replied, oblivious to the cashier's lack of caring. "We'd like to order the jumbo sundae with everything on it please."

"Wait, we would?" Chef asked.

"That'll be ten dollars and seventy eight cents." The worker stated.

"You wouldn't mind paying, would you?" Ella requested of Chef. "This dress doesn't have pockets and I forgot to bring my purse."

"Fine…" Chef grumpily stated, reaching into his pocket.

"We'll give you your order in just a moment." The worker replied in the same monotone as before.

Chef and Ella sat down at a two-person table across from each other while waiting it out.

"This had better be a damn good sundae." Chef told Ella.

"Language!" Ella reminded him. "And also yes, I am confident it will be delicious. It's impossible to go wrong with ice cream."

"So Ella, while we're waiting I got a couple more questions." Chef told her.

"Go right ahead." Ella responded. "I hope you're satisfied with my answer. You haven't been so far but this time I hope you are."

"Can you answer the question about what job you want?" Chef asked.

"Oh, very well." Ella said. "Well, I like to think I'm very good with people. So maybe something where I get to talk to people like working in retail or as a salesperson."

"Hmmph, I'm surprised you know what those things are." Chef admitted.

"Hey, I know it may look like I have my head in clouds but I'm not that naïve." Ella stated.

"You're right, that was kinda uncalled for." Chef apologized. "I'm just worried about you, all right."

"Worried about me?" Ella confusedly repeated. "Why?"

"I dunno, I'm just not able to picture you living on your own and having your own job." Chef admitted. "… Huh, that did not sound good now that I say it out loud."

"I'm perfectly capable." Ella stated. "If I can get through your reality show I can get through the rest of my life."

"Hmm, guess you got a point there." Chef admitted.

"There's nothing wrong with a little lightheartedness in life." Ella told him.

"Okay, now I'm _really_ feelin' bad 'bout what I said to you." Chef admitted.

"It's fine." Ella replied. "I don't mind at all. So tell me, does this mean I'm clear to come back on your show."

"Yeah, sure." Chef decided. "You seem like a nice gal."

"Hooray!" Ella cheered.

"Guess I'd better get going now." Chef remarked. "I got a lotta stuff to do."

Chef began getting up when the same girl from the counter walked over to the table and placed a large bowl filled with all kinds of different flavours of ice cream coated in chocolate sauce, chopped nuts, whipped cream, and a cherry on top.

"Oh right…" Chef trailed off. "Forgot you ordered that."

"If you can eat the whole thing in one go you get a half off discount for life." Their server explained.

"Ah, why not." Chef remarked, picking up a spoon. "You only live once."

"Yay! This will be fun." Ella commented.

"Enjoy the cavities." Their server told them. "Uh, I mean, ice cream."

The girl left the two of them.

"Think we can finish it all?" Chef wondered.

"Oh, absolutely not." Ella stated. "But it'll be fun to try."

Later, Ella and Chef were leaving the mall together.

"I gotta say, this was a surprisingly good day. Even if that ice cream ain't agreein' with my stomach right now." Chef admitted. "Again, sorry 'bout that stuff I said."

"It's quite all right." Ella told him. "Well, I should be off now. It was so fun to go to the mall after being banned from the one I have at home."

"No problem." Chef said. "See ya around."

"You too." Ell remarked. "It's been quite magical. Well, I'd better be going now."

Ella began merrily walking down the street by herself.

"Wonder if she can get around on her own?" Chef wondered. "Nah, she'll be fine."

Chefn began slowly walking down the street and took out his phone. He dialed a number into it and waited for a response.

"Hello?" The voice of Di Giovanni spoke from the other side. "Who's there?"

"Hey, Di Giovanni, it's Chef." Chef replied as he continued walking. "Just finished talkin' with Ella."

"And will we be letting her back?" Di Giovanni asked.

"Yeah, I guess so." Chef replied. "I was a little worried she might hurt herself. Which is weird 'cause I don't usually worry 'bout people that much. But anyway, I think Ella can handle herself."

"That's great. The more people we get to include, the better." Di Giovanni remarked.

"So who am I 'sposed to talk to next?" Chef asked.

"We're not sure yet. We're really only selecting the order based on how convenient it is for them to meet with you." Di Giovanni replied. "Basically, whoever's able to make it to our Toronto offices within the next several days is who you'll be talking to."

"So it could be anyone?" Chef commented.

"Well no, we've got a list of potentially unstable people." Di Giovanni explained.

"You guys gotta let me in on this sorta thing a bit more." Chef said.

"Ha, yep. We sure do." Di Giovanni chuckled. "All right talk to ya later."

Di Giovanni hung up on the other side.

"Man, I _do not_ like that guy." Chef admitted.

Chef continued walking before suddenly freezing in his tracks.

"Wait a minute…" Chef trailed off in realization. "I left my burger at the food court!"

* * *

 **And there's the chapter. Hope you guys liked it. Like I said, this was a bit longer than the others and I hope you don't mind that. I've narrowed it down to two options in terms of who Chef will be talking to next and hopefully it should be up next week. If you want me to know your thoughts on this chapter please leave a review. Thanks for reading and see you in the next chapter.**


	6. Trent

**Well, here's the next chapter. I had a surprisingly tough time writing it and it came out shorter than I was hoping. It turns out that I find Trent to be surprisingly hard to write. But I still hope you guys find this chapter to be enjoyable. So without further ado, you can start reading the actual chapter.**

* * *

Chef paced up and down the hallways of the network office while on the phone.

"C'mon… C'mon… Pick up…" Chef murmured into the phone.

"Hello? Why are you calling?" The voice of Johansson asked from the other line.

"Finally, it's about time." Chef remarked. "Just wanted to make sure I'm talkin' to Trent today."

"What? Yes, of course you're talking to Trent." Johansson told him. "We went over this a couple days ago. Why wouldn't you be?"

"It's just last time I thought I'd be talkin' to Dave but I ended up havin' to interview Ella." Chef explained. "Just wanted to double check."

"Yes, yes, Trent's in there." Johansson assured him. "Now come on, we don't have all day. Get in there and do your job."

"Fine, I've got this." Chef said. "How hard can it be? Trent ain't that bad."

"Great, great, stop talking and talk to him." Johansson instructed him.

"Right, got it." Chef replied. "Hangin' up now."

Chris pressed the disconnect button on his phone.

"Here goes nothin'." Chef commented to himself as he approached one of the doors in the hallway.

He opened the door and entered the room where Trent was already sitting behind a table and sat down.

"So, what's up?" Chef greeted.

"Oh, hey there." Trent remarked. "You gonna ask me some questions or whatever?"

"Huh, you seem pretty calm about this." Chef noted, reaching under the table for the folder of contestants files.

"Thanks, I guess." Trent remarked. "To be honest, I'm not really sure why I'm here. I mean, I know this is a psych-eval but I think I'm pretty stable."

"Oh really?" Chef replied. "I got one word for you."

"And what's that?" Trent asked.

"Nine." Chef stated.

"Oh c'mon! You're not gonna let me live that whole thing down?" Trent said. "I was a normal guy in season one, remember?"

"So how do you explain all that stuff you did the second time around?" Chef inquired.

"Look, I have _very mild_ OCD." Trent explained.

"That didn't seem mild at all." Chef commented.

"I was just real stressed that season, all right." Trent stated. "C'mon, I'm not gonna do anything like that again. Besides, my OCD's gotten way better since then. It's like I barely have it."

"Really then?" Chef asked. "Then what would you do if I did _this_!"

Chef picked up the folder of contestants files and dropped it, causing papers to be spread all over the table.

"Whatcha gonna do now?" Chef remarked.

Trent gave Chef an annoyed look and began trying to push the files back into the folder.

"C'mon man, _anyone_ would be annoyed by that." Trent told him, still fixing the folder.

"Y'know what, we'll get back to this later." Chef decided. "Lemme ask you this: You dating anyone since Gwen?"

"Seriously? You can't just change topics like that." Trent remarked.

"Fine, fair enough." Chef admitted. "Tell ya what, how 'bout we go out somewhere. Get'cha in your comfort zone. I've got a perfect track record by followin' this technique so far."

"Hmm…" Trent trailed off in thought. "Are there any music stores around?"

"Not sure." Chef replied. "Prob'ly. Let's go look around."

"You know, you could probably just look it up on your phone." Trent pointed out, finishing sorting the folder.

"Yeah, yeah. But my way's more interesting." Chef stated. "Now c'mon, let's get out there and find a music store."

"Fine, we'll do things your way." Trent begrudgingly agreed.

A little bit later, Chef and Trent were walking down the outside the network HQ together.

"So, you been up to anything since you were last on the show?" Chef inquired.

"Yeah, mostly been workin' on my music." Trent answered. "Not to brag, but I'm getting pretty good. I could give you a sample if we stop by a guitar shop."

"No thanks, I'm good." Chef declined.

"Suit yourself." Trent said. "You know, I actually wrote a song about my whole breakdown in season two. Probably one of my best."

"You've gotten over that, right?" Chef asked.

"Yes, of course I have. I already told you." Trent replied.

"All right." Chef said. "Just makin' sure. Gonna be honest, you're the most normal guy I've met here so far. This whole interview's really just a formality."

"Oh, well, that makes me feel a bit better." Trent commented.

"So, how have things been since you and Gwen broke up?" Chef asked. "Dated anyone else?"

"None of your business, man." Trent told him.

"Fair enough." Chef admitted.

"Why do you even care?" Trent wondered.

"Y'know I'm not sure." Chef commented. "All I really remember about you is that you play music, you freaked out about the number nine, and you dated Gwen… Kinda limits the questions I was able to think of."

"There had a better be a music shop nearby." Trent sighed a little. "I'm getting tired of walking."

"If it'll make you sound cheerier, I'm all for it." Chef told him.

Chef looked around and saw a slightly run down looking store with a logo that appeared to be a large replica of a vinyl record with the words "Good Vibrations" printed over it in large red letters.

"Hmm, that could be it." Chef commented, pointing at the shop.

"Yeah, probably is." Trent agreed. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's check it out."

Trent and Chef both crossed the street and approached the music store.

"Maybe I could pick up a few records from here." Chef remarked to himself.

The duo entered the music shop. It seemed to be an old building with shelves of CD's and vinyl's all over the store and on the walls were posters for various bands. A man with a large beard appearing to be in his early 60's and wearing a flannel shirt sat behind the cash register.

"Oh hey there, welcome to Good Vibrations." The older man greeted in a gruff voice. "I'm Keith. I kinda own the place. And by 'Kinda' I mean 'Actually'. Anyway, just look around and let me know if you need any help."

"Hey, this place isn't so bad." Trent commented.

"All right, let's find some music you're into." Chef told Trent.

Trent nodded and led Chef over to the section of the store marked "Rock".

"I'm just gonna browse for a bit." Trent said. "Ask me some questions or whatever. Just don't let 'em get too personal."

Trent began looking through a bin of CDs.

"I'll try my best." Chef responded. "So, to start with: Have you been in touch with anyone else from the show?"

"Yeah, I mostly talk to 'em over the internet though." Trent answered. "Some of 'em live sorta close. I actually met up with DJ last month. He's a real nice guy."

"Good to know." Chef said. "Hmm… What else can I ask? Didn't think too far ahead to be honest…"

"The less I have to answer the better." Trent jokingly remarked.

Trent looked down at a box of vinyl records and began flipping through them.

"Now can ya tell me if you've dated anyone since Gwen?" Chef asked.

"Well, if you're not gonna give up on that, sure." Trent answered. "Yeah, I've dated some other girls after Gwen. But each time we broke it off after a while. I'm not seeing anyone right now, but I think I'm gonna find the right girl sometime."

"You and Gwen still in touch?" Chef questioned.

"Hey, this looks like a cool record." Trent ignored the question, taking a CD featuring a shaggy-haired man in sunglasses carrying an acoustic guitar on the cover out from the bin.

"Why're you ignoring me?" Chef asked.

"Huh? Sorry, I didn't hear you." Trent said. "What'd you say?"

"I was askin' if you and Gwen still keep in touch." Chef repeated himself.

"Eh… Kind of." Trent replied. "We still get along all right. But every time we talk somehow it all comes back around to our old relationship. Neither of us really like to remember that."

"Do ya still like her?" Chef asked.

"Of course I do." Trent answered. "She's a nice lady."

"No, I'm talkin' romantically." Chef clarified.

"Nah, not really." Trent admitted. "Y'know I have more interests than guitar, Gwen, and the number nine."

"Look, I haven't watched the show in a while, okay." Chef stated.

"Dude, you're _on_ the show." Trent pointed out.

"Eh, it's all one big crazy mess." Chef stated. "Seriously, bein' the co-host there was the best and worst decision of my life."

"Huh, I guess I kinda feel the same way about being a contestant." Trent admitted.

Trent grabbed another CD from the bin featuring the same man from the previous one he'd picked.

"I think I'm gonna buy these." Trent decided.

"Sure thing." Chef said. "We've still got some time to kill. Producers say I gotta talk to each of you for at least an hour and a half. Wanna go anywhere else?"

"Let's just walk and see where it takes us." Trent told him.

A little while later Chef and Trent were doing just that, walking down the street with no real destination in mind. Trent was now carrying a small plastic bag containing the CDs he had bought.

"You know, you're a real normal guy." Chef admitted. "Don't know why the producers wanted you here."

"Thanks man." Trent said. "Think that's the nicest thing you've said to me."

"Yeah, it turns out a lotta you kids ain't that bad." Chef remarked.

"But I think I kinda do get why the producers told me to be here." Trent admitted.

"Why's that?" Chef asked.

"Well, that whole 'Nine' freak out I had was pretty… Not normal, now that I think about it." Trent replied. "But in my defense, I was really stressed that season."

"You totally sure you ain't into Gwen anymore?" Chef inquired.

"Dude, why do you care?" Trent asked.

"Uh, I may have looked at Sierra's blog a couple of times." Chef admitted. "And she makes you two sound like a cute couple."

"You were looking at Sierra's blog?" Trent remarked in disbelief.

"Hey, is that a hot dog stand?" Chef tried to change he subject. "I could go for some Italian sausage right now."

Chef quickly approached a nearby hot dog stand with Trent trailing close behind.

"Not so fast, man." Trent said. "Why was a big tough guy like you visiting her blog?"

"I don't have to tell you anything." Chef replied before looking over at the man running the hot dog stand. "Hi, I'd like to order one of your Italian sausages."

"Oh no you don't." Trent told him. "I had to answer questions from you, so you gotta answer this one from me."

"That's not how this works." Chef said.

"C'mon, man, just tell me." Trent insisted. "It can't be that embarrassing."

"The fact that I even visited that crazy chick's blog is embarrassing enough." Chef stated.

"Excuse me, do you want a sausage or not?" The hot dog vendor asked.

"Yeah, start grillin' it." Chef told him.

The vendor nodded.

"Seriously, it can't be that bad." Trent pushed on. "Just tell me."

"All right, fine. Didn't know you were planning to bug me to death." Chef remarked. "I looked up my own name on the internet and kinda just fond her blog doing that. It's not like that's weird or anything right? I bet you look up your own name all the time."

"Nope, not even once." Trent claimed.

"Well, now I feel extra weird." Chef commented. "So now that I said that will you tell me if you're still into Gwen or not?"

"I mean, maybe if the circumstances were right it could happen." Trent admitted. "But I dunno, I think we already had our moment. Doesn't seem likely."

"Heh, don't think Sierra's gonna be happy to hear that." Chef remarked.

"Hey, here's your sausage." The food vendor interrupted the conversation, holding up a sausage in a bun.

"Oh, right." Chef said. "Almost forgot I ordered that."

Chef dug around in his pocket for a wallet.

"Ah crap, I left it back at the office." Chef realized before glancing over at Trent. "Hey, got any spare change."

"All right, fine." Trent remarked, taking his wallet out of his pocket.

"Five seventy five for the sausage." The food vendor stated.

Trent handed the man the money he asked for. The duo began walking down the street again.

"So how long do we have to keep this up?" Trent asked. "I feel like you're done asking me questions."

"Yeah, we've hit the minimum amount of time." Chef told him. "You can head on home."

"Sweet, see you later." Trent said. "I think there's a subway station back behind us somewhere."

Trent turned around and began walking. After a few feet, he turned back to Chef.

"Oh, and you're gonna have to pay me back for that sausage." Trent added.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Chef said. "See ya later."

"Right, bye." Trent replied as he resumed walking.

"Hmm… Better call someone." Chef remarked as he took a bite of his hot dog and grabbed his phone out of his pocket.

Chef dialed a number into the phone and after a few moments of waiting, someone picked up.

"Yo, Chris McLean speaking." Chris identified himself from the other line.

"Good news Chris, Trent's clean." Chef stated. "Don't even think I needed to come talk to him. He's a good contender for the most normal person I've interviewed."

"I dunno man, being that obsessed with the number nine is kinda creepy." Chris commented.

"Nobody's ever gonna let him live that down, huh?" Chef said.

"Dude, if you act that weird on international TV people are gonna remember stuff like that for a _while_." Chris pointed out.

"Fair enough." Chef admitted. "Anyway, point is he's clear for comin' back."

"Awesome, the more options we have the more fun the next season's gonna be." Chris said. "Is that all you have to say."

"Yep, pretty much." Chris answered.

"All right, I'll catch you later then." Chris replied before hanging up on his side.

"Y'know, today was a pretty good day." Chef admitted to himself, taking another bite of his sausage. "…. But Trent had better not tell anyone that I visit Sierra's blog regularly."

* * *

 **And that's the chapter. I hope you liked it. I feel like this one might be a bit weaker than the rest but I'll let you be the judge of that. Like I said before, I found Trent to be surprisingly hard to write. Not sure why. As usual, I already have an idea of who's next and it should be up next week. Thanks for reading and be sure to leave a review if you feel like it.**


	7. Sierra

**And now it's time for another chapter. In contrast to the last two, I think I found a good middle length for this one. But with that said, this took way longer than I expected to write. Not sure why exactly but I guess that doesn't matter all that much. Anyway, that's about it for this intro. I don't have anything else to say so you can get on reading now.**

* * *

On a bright sunny morning, Chef had just entered the offices of the TV network he worked for.

"All right, I think I might actually get there early today." Chef told himself. "It almost makes up for this crummy work I have to do."

Chef approached the elevators and pressed the button with an arrow pointing up on it. As he waited, his phone began to ring.

"Ugh, that'd better not be one of the producers." Chef complained.

He took his smartphone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Hey, Chef my man, what's up?" The voice of Di Giovanni replied from the other side.

"Goddammit…" Chef quietly muttered to himself before raising his voice. "Hey Di Giovanni, whatcha calling' for."

"Just making sure you know what's going on." Di Giovanni explained.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm interviewin' that freaky super-fan Sierra." Chef answered.

At this point, the elevator had arrived and Chef stepped inside.

"I've already got some stuff planned out for her." Chef told his producers.

"Great, great. And I'm sure with your perfect track record you'll let her back on the show." Di Giovanni remarked.

"If you're tryin' to influence me it ain't gonna work." Chef stated. "I'm makin' this decision on my own."

"What, no I would never do that." Di Giovanni denied. "All I'm saying is that the more contestants get to come back the more options we have. And that's good for business."

"I'm almost on my floor." Chef told his boss. "See ya later."

"Same to you, pal." Di Giovanni replied.

Chef hung up on him and pocketed the phone. He walked down the hall a bit more and stopped in front of the usual room.

"Okay, it's showtime." Chef psyched himself up.

He entered the room where he saw Sierra wandering around the room and taking photographs with her phone.

"Hey, what'cha doin'?" Chef asked.

"Oh, hi ya." Sierra replied. "I just never thought I'd be in the main offices for the network Total Dram is on. This is so amazing!"

"Please sit down." Chef requested.

"Gotcha." Sierra said.

Sierra walked over to the table and sat down. Chef did the same.

"So where should we start?" Sierra asked.

"Gimme a sec." Chef told her, taking out the folder of contestant files and flipping through it.

He took some papers out of the folder and looked them over.

"Says here that the producers want me to evaluate your 'General Creepiness'." Chef stated.

"What? No, I'm not creepy." Sierra denied. "I just do a lot of _very thorough_ research about Total Drama. Actually, fun fact, last month I finally got a list of the blood types of all the former contestants."

"How, exactly?" Chef asked.

"I'll never tell my secrets." Sierra said. "Anywho, you got any questions for me?"

"Sure, I'll start with this: What was your life like before you found out about Total Drama?" Chef asked. "Were you always… Like this?"

"Well, I've always loved the work of Chris McLean." Sierra stated. "I've been watching his movies for years. But it wasn't until he hosted Total Drama I was _really_ interested. Especially since that's the show that first showed my _Cody_ …"

"You still hung up on him, huh?" Chef remarked.

"Oh, definitely." Sierra proudly replied. "He's the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on."

"Handsome?" Chef questioned. "You seen how skinny he is?"

"That's what makes him so cute." Sierra stated. "Ah… One day, he'll be mine."

"Right…" Chef trailed off, sounding nervous.

Chef scribbled something down in Sierra's file.

"Go on." Chef told her.

"Hmmm… I can't think of anything else to say." Sierra admitted. "To be honest, I don't think I'm all that creepy or weird."

"You sure 'bout that?" Chef asked.

"Yep, just a nice normal girl with nothing weird about her." Sierra stated.

"Okay, I've done this with everyone else I've interviewed so far." Chef began. "You and I are gonna go somewhere that you'll feel comfortable at. I figure you'll talk to me more once we're there."

"Look, this whole 'Mental Evaluation' thing is pointless. I'm perfectly sane." Sierra insisted. "I just love Cody with all my heart… Ah… He'll be mine one day."

"Uh huh… Right." Chef tried to brush her off. "Look, lady, just tell me somewhere you wanna go."

"Hmm… Well, most of my time is either spent at my house or doing Total Drama related research." Sierra explained. "And I don't think you're interested in either of those things."

"How 'bout the park?" Chef suggested. "Everyone loves the park."

"Ooh, sure. That sounds fun." Sierra agreed.

"Great, let's get on out there then." Chef told her.

A little while later, Sierra and Chef were walking down the street together.

"So… A little birdie told me you follow my blog." Sierra casually commented as they walked.

"What?! Ugh, dammit Trent!" Chef exclaimed.

"Oh, no, he didn't tell me." Sierra stated. "Well, I found out from him. But he didn't tell me personally or anything."

"So how'd you know?" Chef asked.

"Oh, I have my ways." Sierra said.

"Man, stop sayin' that." Chef told her. "It's weird and creepy."

"How about _you_ stop saying that about _me_." Sierra stated. "Then we'll be even."

"Whatever, sure." Chef remarked. "Can I just ask another question to pass the time?"

"Why not. As long as it isn't too weird." Sierra said.

"What even counts as 'Too weird' for someone like you?" Chef wondered.

"Was that the question or are you just thinking out loud?" Sierra asked.

"The second one." Chef stated. "What I really wanna know is what happened between season three and season five. You seemed more normal at the end of World Tour, but then when All-Stars started you were back to bein' all nuts."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sierra denied. "This is how I've always acted."

"We're gonna play this game, huh?" Chef remarked. "All right, fine. But you're gonna gimme a good answer at some point. They always do."

"Pfft, _I_ am like a vault of secrets." Sierra bragged.

"You post every secret yo find on the internet." Chef pointed out.

"Yes, but none of those secrets are about myself." Sierra said.

"All right, fine. Fair enough." Chef remarked. "Look, let's just get to the park, okay?"

Sierra nodded and they continued walking down the street for a little while longer.

"All right, here we go." Chef commented as they approached the front entrance to a park with a sign outside of it reading "Henry Baird Park".

"Who's 'Henry Baird'? And why's he famous enough to have his own park?" Sierra wondered. "Cody is a reality show superstar and he doesn't have any parks."

"Don't think they name stuff like that after celebrities." Chef remarked. "Ya gotta be, I dunno, a doctor or a politician to have a park named after you. People like Cody or even Chris don't get stuff named after 'em."

"Actually, there was a street called 'Chris McLean Avenue' in Albania." Sierra informed Chef. "Yeah, the show is surprisingly big there. But they renamed it after he got arrested."

Chef and Sierra began walking through the park together.

"Wow, the weather is really nice today." Sierra noted.

"We ain't here to talk weather." Chef stated. "You're here to answer the questions I give you."

"Oh, right, totally." Sierra said. "What do you want to ask?"

"How do your parents feel about your whole… Obsessiveness?" Chef asked.

"My mom's totally cool with it." Sierra stated. "Pretty sure I said this on the show: But my mom has like, a total crush on Chris. She keeps a little shrine of him and everything."

"That was way more insight into your life than I think I ever wanted." Chef commented.

"Gee, thanks." Sierra replied, completely oblivious. "So is there anything interesting to do here."

"It's got all the normal park stuff." Chef told her. "Sometimes I like to take my dog to the big fountain in the middle."

"Wait, you have a dog?" Sierra asked. "Wow, I can't believe I didn't know. I gotta add that to my blog."

Chef groaned in frustration.

"Do you have any plans for your life?" Chef wondered. "You're like what, eighteen, nineteen? You really gonna be obsessing over this show your whole life."

"Oh, definitely." Sierra told him. "Hey, so anyway, let's go to that fountain you were talking about."

"This is gonna be tricky…" Chef mumbled to himself as they kept walking.

"What was that?" Sierra curiously prodded.

"Nothin'." Chef lied. "Just keep walkin' for now, okay?"

A few minutes later, the two of them were standing in front of a fountain that featured horses with water shooting out of their mouths into the basin of the fountain.

"You know who those horses remind me of?" Sierra rhetorically asked Chef. "Brick from season four. They look tough, but also gentle."

"Do you ever think about anything that ain't Total Drama?" Chef remarked. "I work on the show and I prob'ly think about it less than you."

"Sure I do. I've seen every single one of Chris' old movies about like, a hundred times." Sierra told him. "Even if all his movies are laughably terrible."

"Well, at least you have good taste." Chef remarked. "Topher treated Chris like he was an actual god…. Kinda like how you treat Cody actually."

"Ah, C'mon, I'm not that obsessive." Sierra denied. "He's just got a cute face. And I wanna marry him and have children together."

"Y'see, that's the kinda thing that makes me say you're weird." Chef told her. "Ya ain't exactly makin' me wanna put you back on the show."

"What? Why?" Sierra asked. "What did I do?"

"Ever since day one you've been an obsessive nutjob." Chef pointed out. "Even for Chris' low standards, you were a creep."

"What, no. My stalking and stuff are what makes me so charming and quirky." Sierra argued.

"It may give you fans, but it gives the producers a reason to not want you back." Chef explained. "You gettin' it yet?"

"I think I do…" Sierra stared off in thought.

Sierra turned around and sat down on the edge of the fountain.

"You're saying that if I keeping being myself you won't let me back for another season." Sierra said.

"Pretty much." Chef told her. "Look, let's just not go that far yet. For now, just tell me three interests of yours that ain't related to Total Drama."

"Hmmm…. This is tough." Sierra admitted. "Gimme some time."

"Don't worry, I ain't goin' anywhere." Chef stated.

"I used to be on my high school track team." Sierra remarked.

"Really?" Chef asked. "I don't see it."

"C'mon, look at me, I'm in pretty good shape." Sierra pointed out.

"All right, I can kinda see it now." Chef admitted. "You still gotta give me two more."

"Okay, okay, I'm thinking…" Sierra stared off in thought. "Uh… Oh, well, I'm into photography."

"How many of those photos are pictures of Cody taken without his permission?" Chef asked, half joking.

"Oh, only about… A quarter of my photographs I'd say." Sierra answered.

"Just list the last thing." Chef told her.

"Hmm… Okay." Sierra replied.

Sierra stood up from the fountain and began pacing around.

"I didn't expect thinking of this stuff to be so difficult." Sierra admitted as she kept pacing. "Hmm…"

Another minute passed as she thought.

"You know what, I'll get back to this later." Sierra decided as she stopped pacing. "Can you ask me something else for now?"

"All right, sure." Chef replied. "Walk me through what a normal day is like for you."

"Well, first I wake up, obviously." Sierra started. "Then there's breakfast, obviously. After that, I update my blog. Well, I do that three times a day actually. In the morning, at noon, and at night."

"Uh huh… Keep goin'." Chef told her.

"Well, after that I do research." Sierra went on.

"What kinda research exactly?" Chef asked.

"Y'know, the usual stuff. Facts about Total Drama contestants, behind the scenes info on the show, anything and everything about Cody. That kinda thing." Sierra listed.

"Right…" Chef trailed off. "If I hadn't left your file back at HQ I'd be writing stuff down right now."

"Good stuff or bad stuff?" Sierra inquired.

"You don't need to know." Chef replied.

"So bad stuff?" Sierra pressed on asking.

"Not tellin' you." Chef stated.

"Okay, it's definitely bad stuff in that case." Sierra commented. "Look, just because I've permanently borrowed some of Cody's personal belongings doesn't mean I'm a weirdo."

"Okay, I think I've made up my mind." Chef declared.

"About what?" Sierra asked.

"About whether or not you should be allowed back on the show." Chef replied.

"And the answers yes, right?" Sierra's face lit up. "C'mon, you haven't said no to anybody else yet."

"How do ya know that?" Chef wondered. "The only people I've told are Chris and the producers."

"Oh, y'know, I just made a few phone calls to the right people." Sierra tried to explain.

"Well, that pushes it over the edge." Chef declared. "You ain't gettin' back on. See ya later."

Chef began walking away from the area but Sierra rushed after him

"Wait, Chef! Please reconsider!" Sierra pleaded. "I'm normal, really."

"Look, I ain't tryin' to break your little heart or anything." Chef told her. "But I just think you ain't ready to come back."

Sierra ran in front of Chef causing him to stop moving.

"Do ya mind?" Chef asked. "I'm tryin' to get back home."

"Look, is there anything I can do to get back on the show?" Sierra asked. "Seriously, this show is everything to me."

"Look, I'd feel more comfortable lettin' you back on the show if you went to see an actual psychiatrist." Chef told her. "Not a guy who skimmed a bargain bin psychology book like I did."

"And if I do that will you please, please, _please_ let me back on?" Sierra asked again.

"It depends on how much you've changed." Chef said. "But for now, as long as you promise to see the professional, I'll put you on my 'Maybe' list."

"Yes! Thank you so much!" Sierra cheered, jumping up and down in excitement. "I promise; you will not regret this!"

Sierra pulled Chef into a tight hug.

"Wow, you are surprisingly strong." Chef noticed.

"Gee, thanks." Sierra replied.

"All right, let go so I can go home now." Chef told her.

"Oh, right sorry." Sierra said, loosening her grip. "I just like hugging people. Especially Cody…"

Sierra sighed.

"Well, I'd better get going now." Sierra remarked. "Thanks for letting me back on the show."

"Never said that. You're just on the maybe list." Chef reminded her.

"Well, close enough." Sierra replied. "Anyway, I gotta get back home and update my blog. See ya!"

Sierra happily walked off down the path in the park.

"Weird girl. Really weird girl." Chef remarked to himself.

Chef began walking away from the fountain in the opposite direction.

"I sure hope I don't regret this." Chef commented as he took his smartphone out from his pocket.

He dialed a number into his phone and waited a few moments for someone to respond.

"Oh, hello Chef." The voice of Johnson unenthusiastically greeted from the other side. "What do you want?"

"Just finished my interview with Sierra." Chef explained.

"Well, I'm assuming with your perfect record and lack of caring for this job, you let her back on." Johnson replied.

"You kiddin'? That girl needs some serious help." Chef stated.

"So you _didn't_ let her on." Johnson remarked.

"Well, no, I was gonna do that. But then she got really upset when I told her." Chef went on. "So I told her as long as she got actual help and became less obsessive I'd let her back on. But right now she's on the 'Maybe' list."

"Thank you for the update." Johnson replied. "I must say, you're not as terrible at this job then I expected."

"Thanks." Chef sarcastically said. "Well, bye I guess."

Chef hung up the phone.

"Man, wonder how many more of these things I gotta do?" Chef thought out loud.

* * *

 **And that's the chapter. I hope you liked it because I sure had fun writing it. I'm not quite sure who the next person Chef is going to interview will be. But to even things out, it will probably be one of the male characters. Hopefully, I'll be able to put it out another chapter by next week. Anyway, if you want me to know your thoughts, please be sure to leave a review. Thanks for reading.**


	8. Leonard

**And now it's time for another chapter. In the end, I ended up settling on writing about Leonard. I'm pretty neutral towards him as a character and in all honesty, I'm not quite sure why I picked him to write about next. But the chapter's already finished so I guess that doesn't really matter. Anyway, now that this is done you can go ahead and read it.**

* * *

Chef walked back and forth in the hall of the network offices while on his phone.

"I can't believe I gotta do this." Chef complained.

"Ah, c'mon, it's not that bad." Chris told him from the other line.

"It's _Leonard_. He's nuts." Chef stated. "Can't I just pre-emptively not let this guy back?"

"Rules are we gotta give everyone a fair chance." Chris told him. "Trust me, if I had it my way I wouldn't let him back either."

"The worst part is up until two days ago, I was 'sposed to interview Dave." Chef said. "That kid's still sensitive 'bout his hair though so he cancelled."

"Really? I thought it would've grown back by now." Chris commented.

"Apparently it has. He said somethin' 'bout gettin' the right haircut." Chef explained. "This is the second time this has happened too. Seriously, next time he says he's gonna be here, he'd better be."

"Come on, I'm sure Leonard won't be that bad." Chris told his friend. "You said a lot of this same stuff about Staci and she turned out all right, didn't she?"

"I think 'All right' is a bit much but she wasn't as annoying as I thought she'd be." Chef admitted. "Leonard on the other hand…. I ain't so sure."

"Look, just stop complaining and get in there." Chris said.

"Fine." Chef remarked. "Here goes nothin'."

Chef hung up the phone. He walked down the hallway a bit more and stopped in front of the room that he usually had interviews in.

"Ugh, I ain't gonna like this." Chef grumbled to himself.

He entered the room where Leonard was already sitting at a table.

"Hurrah! Arch Chancellor Hatchet has arrived!" Leonard cheered.

"Hello… Leonard." Chef grumpily greeted.

Chef sat down in front of Leonard.

"Salutations my friend." Leonard replied.

"Uh huh, right." Chef said, pulling out the folder and taking out Leonard's file. "Okay Leonard, says here… You're seventeen? Man, did not expect that."

"Why not?" Leonard asked.

"Not important right now." Chef told him. "Hmm…. Says the producers want me to look into your 'General Weirdness'."

"Huh? What in the Four Forest of Karrovia are you referring to?" Leonard asked.

"See, that's the kinda stuff you say that makes people think you're weird." Chef stated

"Ha, nonsense." Leonard denied.

"Look, let's get back to this later." Chef told him. "I'm just gonna ask some questions, all right."

Leonard nodded.

"How long have you been into… I dunno, wizard stuff?" Chef asked.

"I've been training in the Henatarak Mountains for years in the ancient art of wizardry." Leonard stated.

"This is gonna be hard…" Chef muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Leonard asked.

"Look, let's try another question." Chef said. "What do your parents think about your whole wizard obsession."

"Psht, 'Obsession' I _am_ a wizard of the tenth degree!" Leonard proclaimed.

"Okay, time for step two." Chef told himself. "I swear, I feel like I keep doin' this earlier and earlier."

"What was that, Arch Chancellor Hatchet?" Leonard asked.

"Just take me somewhere that'd you go on a normal day." Chef instructed him. "So far, everyone I've done this with has answered questions better when we're somewhere like that. Can ya do that?"

"Me and my best friend Tammy were actually planning to get together today." Leonard replied. "A few of my other friends too."

"Does ya friend live nearby?" Chef asked.

"Indeed." Leonard told him. "It's simply a short ride on the back of the yellow dragon!"

Chef tilted his head in confusion.

"I'll just call a taxi." Chef commented.

"That's what I said." Leonard insisted.

"Right, sure." Chef replied.

About ten minutes later, Chef found himself sitting inside a taxi cab with Leonard.

"Huzzah! Faster, yellow dragon!" Leonard cheered.

"Is yer friend all right?" The cab driver asked.

"Just ignore him." Chef requested. "He's harmless."

"Actually I'm a very powerful wizard who could unleash dangerous spells at any moment." Leonard stated.

"Like I said: Just ignore him." Chef repeated.

"I'll try." The driver replied.

"Don't ignore me." Leonard demanded. "I'm very powerful you know."

"How much longer 'til we get to your friend's house?" Chef asked Leonard.

"It shall be mere minutes now." Leonard replied. "If I learned the teleportation spell, we'd already be there though."

"Right, right, teleportation spell. Sure." Chef rolled his eyes.

"It's true!" Leonard insisted.

The odd duo sat in silence for a few more minutes as the cab drove.

"All right, we're at the place." The cab driver told his passengers, stopping his car. "Which one of you two's paying?"

"Do you accept Dragoncoin?" Leonard inquired.

"Ugh, I'll just pay." Chef stated.

Moments later, the two of them stepped out of the cab and had approached a green painted house.

"Behold! The emerald castle!" Leonard exclaimed.

"Huh, your friend lives in a nice place." Chef noted, ignoring Leonard's comment completely.

Both of them went up to the front door and Leonard rang the doorbell. Moments later, the door was opened by Tammy.

"Oh! Lord Leonard, you have arrived!" Tammy cheered. "And I see you've brought Arch Chancellor Hatchet with you as well."

"Did you tell her to call me that?" Chef asked.

"No actually. It's just a remarkable coincidence." Leonard explained.

"I'm gonna be askin' Leonard a few questions while you play your… I dunno, Villages and Vampires or whatever you call it." Chef explained.

"Of course." Tammy replied. "Me and my other friends were just setting up downstairs."

"I certainly do hope you saved me a spot Lady Tamara." Leonard said.

"Naturally." Tammy told him.

A little bit later, Leonard, Chef, and Tammy were walking down the stairs to the basement.

"I'm so glad you can make it." Tammy told her friend. "It just isn't the same without you, y'know. No offence to the other guys, but they're kinda gloomy."

The trio reached the bottom of the stairs and saw a table with various dice and books strewn about on it. At the table sat two exceptionally pale teens.

"Crimson, Ennui, guess what, Leonard's here!" Tammy excited announced.

"Wait, I know you." Chef realized. "Weren't you on that racing show?"

"You'd better not tell anyone you saw us here." Crimson told Chef. "Or else."

"What exactly are you doing here?" Chef asked. "Ain't you 'sposed to be listening to your heavy metal or whatever."

"These two wouldn't stop bothering us after the show." Ennui explained. "But they got us interested in the game when they said we could pretend to be vampires."

"Again, if anyone asks, we were never here." Crimson reiterated.

"Look, I'm just here to make sure Leonard's not dangerous." Chef stated. "I'll probably forget your names by the time I leave."

"Oh, I'm very dangerous." Leonard said. "Have you seen some of my spells?"

"No, no I haven't." Chef told him. "'Cause they ain't real."

"Pfft, you're just jealous." Leonard remarked.

Leonard and Tammy sat down at the table with Crimson and Ennui while Chef stood nearby.

"This is kinda weird." Ennui commented.

"Just pretend I ain't here." Chef instructed him. "I'm only here to ask questions for Leonard."

"Ask away, Arch Chancellor." Leonard replied.

"Uh huh, right." Chef said. "Um… Anyway, Leonad, what are your parents like? They cool with you bein' a wizard?"

"Oh, most certainly." Leonard stated. "They always buy me the latest wizarding equipment."

"Really? They're okay with _all this_?" Chef asked.

"I've met them before, they're really nice people." Tammy confirmed. "He's lucky, I always have to buy my bard equipment myself."

"Have you two met his parents?" Chef questioned the two goths.

"Yeah. They're very understanding." Crimson stated. "I hate understanding people. Why can't they be like my parents and complain about the music I listen to?"

"Why is that a good thing?" Chef asked.

"It gives you something to rebel against." Ennui explained.

"Y'know what, I'm not here to talk to you two." Chef remembered. "I need to get back to Leonard."

"Hooray for me!" Leonard cheered.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Chef said. "Anyway, Leonard, next question. Do you actually think you're a wizard?"

"What's that supposed to mean? Of course I'm a wizard!" Leonard declared.

"He's really this delusional?" Chef whispered to Leonard's friends.

"Yes." Crimson stated with Ennui giving an affirming nod as well.

"Ah, don't listen to them. Leonard's fine." Tammy whispered to Chef. "He's just really, really, _really_ in character."

"Wait, so _you_ know you ain't really a viking." Chef said.

"I'm a Valkyrie besides the point." Tammy replied.

"I'm sorry, what are we talking about?" Leonard asked. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Leonard, get me a snack from upstairs." Chef instructed him.

"Uh, but this is Tammy's castle." Leonard pointed out.

"Just go get me some pretzels. I'm the, uh, Arch Chancellor." Chef replied.

"It shall be so!" Leonard announced.

Leonard stood up and began walking upstairs. Chef kept an eye on Leonard until he was completely out of sight. After that, Chef turned to the other three.

"Okay Tammy, repeat what you said again." Chef requested.

"Uh, what do you want me to say?" Tammy asked.

"You and Leonard both know that you aren't magical fantasy people with wizard powers, right?" Chef asked.

"Yep." Tammy bluntly stated.

"But you pretend that you're magic, _why_?" Chef continued asking.

"It's fun." Tammy replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back in character."

Tammy walks over to a corner of the basement and picks up a wooden flute.

"This is the ancient Valkyries Flute. Passed down from generation to generation." Tammy told Chef.

She began playing a cheery sounding tune on it. Chef ignored her and turned to the two goths.

"Why're you friends with these two?" Chef wondered. "Seems like it'd get annoying."

"We get to pretend we're vampires for a few hours and that's all that matters." Ennui answered.

"I want you two to be honest." Chef began. "Do you think Leonard's could endanger other people if he went back on Total Drama?"

Crimson and Ennui didn't say anything.

"Well?" Chef asked after the silence.

"We're thinking." Crimson stated.

There were a few more moments of silence.

"He's annoying, but he probably isn't dangerous." Ennui finally spoke up.

"Leonard's probably _way_ too cheerful though." Crimson said.

Ennui nodded in agreement.

"I'll keep all this in mind." Chef replied.

Chef turned his head to Tammy who was still playing her flute.

"Hey, you, do ya agree with what they said?" Chef inquired.

Tammy paused her music and nodded.

"Y'know, you may be kinda weird, but at least you're quiet sometimes." Chef commented.

"Aw, thanks." Tammy replied.

"Hey, I got one last question for you." Chef told her.

"Ask away." Tammy said.

"What's Leonard like when he ain't in character?" Chef asked. "Or is he _always_ like that."

"Hmm… I haven't seen him out of character in a while." Tammy admitted. "He's pretty much the same to be honest. Maybe a bit less magic talk. But y'know, he's still a super nice guy."

At that moment, Leonard walked back downstairs carrying a bag of pretzels.

"Ha! The mighty Leonard has slain the Pretzel Beast and has shared the loot with all his friends!" Leonard proclaimed.

"That took way longer than it should've." Ennui commented.

"Lady Tamara's castle is a winding labyrinth." Leonard stated. "I had to cast an eighth pathfinder spell to figure out what to look for."

"In other words, she has a messy pantry?" Chef guessed.

"Why, I have no idea as to what you're referring to." Leonard denied as he placed the bag of pretzels down on the table. "Now, would the Arch Chancellor like to ask any more questions?"

"Y'know Leonard, I think I've got a pretty good handle on your brain and such." Chef told him.

"Thank you, Arch Chancellor." Leonard replied. "And what, may I ask, does this mean?"

"I feel like I'm gonna regret this, but I'm lettin' you back on the show." Chef explained.

"Hurrah! Another victory for our party!" Leonard cheered.

"Oh, that's great!" Tammy agreed.

"Yay." Crimson unemotionally stated.

"I am so overjoyed right now." Ennui dully droned.

"Trust me sir, you shall not come to regret this decision." Leonard stated.

"Look, I wanna be real for a moment. Accordin' to Tammy, when yer 'Out of Character', you're apparently a nice guy." Chef told him. "So I'm takin' her word for it."

"Pfft, 'Out of Character'. I don't know what you're talking about." Leonard replied. "But I do appreciate the positive evaluation. And I thank you for that."

"Great, well, I'm gettin' out of her now." Chef informed them.

"Ooh, can I add you on my social media first?" Tammy requested.

Chef stared off in thought for a few second before he looked back at Tammy.

"No." Chef stated.

"That's fair." Tammy admitted. "Well, see ya."

"Farewell, Arch Chancellor Hatchet." Leonard told him.

"Bye." Crimson and Ennui said in the same monotone.

A few moments later, Chef found himself on the lawn of Tammy's house waiting for a taxi.

"Might as well call one of the producers while I'm waiting." Chef decided.

He pulled out his cellphone and dialed a number into it. After it rang for a few moments, someone picked up on the other side.

"Y'ello?" The voice of Di Giovanni said from the other line.

"Hey, Di Giovanni, it's Chef here." Chef greeted.

"Oh, hey there, bud. What's up?" Di Giovanni replied. "How'd your whole thing with Leonard go?"

"Eh…. It was weird." Chef admitted. "But in the end, I let him back on the show?"

"Really? Him?" Di Giovanni asked. "Not what I woulda done but you're the expert here… Well, not really but you catch my drift."

"Yea, yeah, right. Hey, the main reason I called was to ask something." Chef told him. "How many more contestants do I have to interview?"

"I dunno." Di Giovanni replied.

"Whatta you mean?" Chef asked. "You're one of the producers. You have to know."

"Look pal, I'm pretty sure Johansson's the one I charge of that list." Di Giovanni explained. "Anyway thanks for talkin' to me. See ya later."

"Hold on." Chef said. "I'm not-"

Chef stopped himself when he heard the sound of Di Giovanni hanging up on the other side. He sighed.

"Let's just hope Leonard's as crazy as it gets." Chef commented.

* * *

 **And that's it for this one. I know it's kinda random to Crimson and Ennui, but I just thought they'd be fun to write and went for it. Hope you guys liked this chapter. I've already decided who I'd like to write about next. If you want a hint, the person I've chosen is a Revenge of the Island character. Anyway, as usual, the chapter should be up next week. Once again, hope you enjoyed the chapter and be sure to leave a review if you wanna tell me what you think. Thanks for reading.**


	9. Dawn

**As some of you were able to predict, the character I'm featuring in this chapter is Dawn. Like the last one, this chapter ended up a lot shorter than I was hoping for. I like writing Dawn though so I'm not sure how it ended up like that. But that's not important. Anyway, that's all I really have to say in this authors note. So you can get on with the reading now.**

* * *

Chef was in an ascending elevator while on his smartphone. He appeared to be waiting for someone on the other side to pick up.

"C'mon, they usually ain't this busy…" Chef mumbled to himself.

After waiting for a few moments, someone on the other line answered.

"Okay Chef, what do you need?" The voice of Johansson wanted to start off the conversation.

"I'm just makin' sure I got the right info 'bout who I'm talkin' to next." Chef explained.

"Yes, yes, you're interviewing Dawn today." Johansson confirmed. "You know, I'm very busy today."

"Why her?" Chef asked. "She doesn't seem like someone I have to evaluate."

"Listen, she's a weirdo and that's how she ended up on the list." Johansson explained. "Don't be such a softie."

"Hey, I'm a real tough guy!" Chef insisted. "And compared to, I dunno, Leonard or Ella, I remember Dawn seeming pretty normal."

"Look, you have a job, we tell you to do that job, you do it." Johansson stated. "Understand?"

"Yeah, all right. But that don't me I like everything about it." Chef replied.

"Neither do I." Johansson admitted. "But you don't hear me incessantly complaining about it."

"All right, all right. I get it." Chef said.

"Great. Well, I've got to leave now." Johansson informed him. "Goodbye for now."

Johansson hung up on the other side.

"I'm sure this won't be that bad." Chef told himself as he put away the phone.

The elevator doors opened up and Chef stepped out into the hall. He walked down it for a bit before stopping in front of his usual door.

"Maybe this one'll go by quicker." Chef encouraged himself.

Chef entered the room where he saw Dawn sitting cross-legged in her seat with her eyes closed. As soon as he was in the room, Dawn opened one eye.

"Ah, greeting Chef. I've been waiting for you." Dawn remarked. "I believe you're here to prod my mind so to speak, yes?"

"Yeah, something like that." Chef answered.

He sat down across from her and grabbed the folder of contestant files from under his chair. He thumbed through the papers until he pulled out one about Dawn.

"Okay, says here that you think you have magical powers and that the producers think that it's kinda weird." Chef stated.

"And that's why you're interviewing me, correct? Dawn said. "You know; I never understand why people call me 'Weird'. How can I be the only one who sees auras and understands animals?"

"Look, we'll get to that later." Chef told her. "I'm gonna start off with some questions, got it?"

Dawn calmly nodded.

"Okay, lemme start with this. Are your parents also…" Chef began. "How do I put this? Are your parents also _like you_?"

"Oh, yes. They are also aura readers." Dawn explained. "They're the ones who taught me actually."

"Uh huh, and how does this 'Aura Reading' work?" Chef asked.

"Well, everyone has this energy that surrounds them that's constantly changing colours." Dawn told him. "The colours usually correspond to how you're feeling."

"But how do you see them?" Chef inquired.

"I'm not quite sure how to explain it." Dawn admitted. "You kind of just have to look at someone and believe that you'll see an aura. Yes, I think that's what my parents said when they were explaining it to me."

"No offence, but it sounds like you're just imaginin' things." Chef told her.

"None taken. I get that a lot actually." Dawn replied.

"Uh huh, good to know." Chef said. "I got another question. If this whole 'Aura' business is real what can you tell about me from lookin' at mine."

"I can tell that you have an anger problem sometimes." Dawn answered. "And I can sense that you don't entirely think I should be interviewed by you."

"Okay, that's pretty impressive." Chef admitted. "But that latter part's changin' just a little. You're weirder than I remember."

"That's a fair assessment." Dawn commented. "People often don't know how to handle what they can't comprehend."

"Look, the thing I'm the most worried about is you embarrassin' yourself if you go back on the show." Chef explained.

"What do you mean by that?" Dawn asked.

"The only guy you made friends with in season four was the guy who didn't talk." Chef pointed out.

"I do I suppose I live a mostly solitary life." Dawn admitted. "I don't mind all that much though… Although, more friends would be nice."

"Do you think you'd be able to do it?" Chef questioned. "Make more friends, I mean."

"Hmm… I'm not really sure." Dawn confessed.

Chef took out a pen and wrote something down in Dawn's file.

"You know, I don't mean to complain or anything, but I feel limited in this space." Dawn spoke up. "Is it possible to go somewhere closer to nature?"

"Y'know, usually I'm the one that suggests leaving so I'm all for it." Chef answered. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Well, I have a tree fort at my house, but I live pretty far out of town. How about the park?" Dawn suggested.

"Nah, I was there pretty recently with Sierra." Chef answered. "How 'bout the aquarium?"

"Hmm, yes, that would be nice." Dawn replied.

"Great, let's get a move on in that case." Chef told her. "We'll talk more 'bout your weird hippie lifestyle on the way. No offence."

"Oh, none taken again." Dawn said. "I'm quite used to it."

A little while later, Chef and Dawn walked down a street together.

"I do hope the fish at this aquarium are happy." Dawn commented. "I never feel very good when their auras look sad."

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Chef half-heartedly told her, not really paying attention. "Anyway, we should be there soon."

"Ah, that's good." Dawn said. "Do you have any other questions for me?"

"Do you go to school or is it some kinda homeschoolin' situation?" Chef wondered.

"Oh, I just go to a regular public school." Dawn explained. "My teachers always say I need to focus more. But my parents say they're just holding back my creativity."

"Interesting." Chef replied. "You have my friends at school?"

"No, not many." Dawn admitted. "I'm not sad about it or anything though. I feel very content with my current life."

Chef looked up and saw that they were in front of a large modern looking building with the words "Griswold's Aquarium" on a large sign out front.

"Hold up, we made it." Chef told her. "C'mon, let's look at some fish and then get back to talkin'."

"I'd like that." Dawn replied. "I actually have a few questions for you."

"All right, that's cool. Just don't make 'em too personal." Chef said.

"I'll try." Dawn remarked.

A little while later, Chef and Dawn were indoors at the aquarium and were walking past several large tanks of bright, colourful fish.

"Wow, they sure are majestic." Dawn commented as she looked at the fish. "Don't you think so?"

"Yeah, I can see that." Chef agreed. "Can you read their 'Auras' or whatever?"

"Yes, they seem to be happy with their lives actually." Dawn replied. "I'm very glad about that."

"Hey, so I got some more questions." Chef told her.

"Do go on." Dawn said.

"Well, the thing I'm most worried 'bout for you is your social skills." Chef explained. "You think you'd be able to talk to people if you went on the show?"

"You know; I think it's very sweet that you care about me." Dawn replied.

"I never said that." Chef stated.

"Yes, but I can see it in your aura." Dawn notified him.

"Look, can ya just answer the question for me?" Chef requested.

"Oh, sure." Dawn replied. "Well, I think I'd be good at talking to people. I'm not shy at all. People just don't really understand me. If I met the right person we'd get along just fine."

"What kind of person would be the right person in that case?" Chef asked.

"I'm not really sure." Dawn admitted. "But I'll know them when I see them. But really, I do think it's very nice of you to worry about my well being this much."

"Nuh uh, I never said anything like that." Chef reminded her.

"Yes, but I already told you: I can tell by your aura." Dawn told him.

"Y'know I just ain't so sure I believe it." Chef admitted.

"Very well, I suppose there's no way I can change your mind." Dawn said. "But you'll let me back on the show, yes?"

"Gimme some time to think." Chef replied.

"Why are you so reluctant?" Dawn asked.

"I'm not too sure." Chef admitted. "C'mon, let's go figure it out in another part of the aquarium. I'm sick of lookin' at these fish."

"How about sharks?" Dawn suggested.

"Sure, I'm up for lookin' at sharks." Chef agreed.

A little bit later, Chef and Dawn were walking through a glass tunnel. On all sides of the tunnel was water with various types of sharks inside of them.

"Wow, isn't it beautiful?" Dawn asked.

"I was gonna say 'Cool' but beautiful works too." Chef replied.

"So can you please tell me why you're so hesitant to let me on?" Dawn requested.

"Look, you seem like a really nice person. And it's just that Chris really likes messin' with nice people." Chef told her.

"I don't mind. I'm very thick-skinned." Dawn insisted. "Plus, I think I'd be able to make it pretty far."

"You were kicked off fourth the first time." Chef pointed out. "Technically third since Dakota came back briefly."

"Yes, but that's only because Scott framed me for stealing." Dawn said. "If you let me back, I think I'd really impress a lot of people."

"All right, you're startin' to win me over." Chef admitted. "But one more time, you sure you'll be able to handle Chris? Don't tell him I said this, but I feel like he's goin' out of his way to make each season more dangerous than the last."

"I promise, I'll be okay." Dawn insisted. "Really Chef, you do not need to worry about my well being. I'm very well adjusted person."

"Okay, okay, fine. You've finally won me over." Chef said.

"Oh, excellent. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity." Dawn replied. "I know you feel uncomfortable with physical contact, but I would like to hug you out of gratitude."

"I never said I was uncomfortable." Chef told her.

"Yes but it's in your aura." Dawn stated. "But are you open to a hug?"

"How 'bout just a handshake. I don't know you too well." Chef said.

"That's fair." Dawn admitted. "Handshake it is then."

Dawn extended her arm and Chef shook her hand firmly.

"Y'know, as weird as you are, it wasn't too bad talkin' to you." Chef confessed.

"Thank you. I'm glad you can consider me a friend." Dawn replied.

"Never called us friends." Chef pointed out. "Wait, lemme guess, you read my aura."

"Yep." Dawn responded.

Dawn and Chef broke their handshake.

"Well, I'm gettin' outta here." Chef told her. "See ya later."

"Naturally." Dawn said. "And once again, thank you for allowing me back on your show."

"No problem." Chef replied. "So, you gonna head home now?"

"Not yet. I actually quite enjoy it here." Dawn stated. "In fact, I think I'll visit the jellyfish now."

"Well, I'm goin' home." Chef told her. "See ya."

"Same to you." Dawn said.

Chef began walking away from her and almost as soon as he left the shark exhibit, his phone began ringing.

"C'mon, for once please don't be a producer." Chef remarked as he took it out of his pocket.

He answered the phone.

"Ah, Mr. Hatchet. Thank you for picking up." Johnson greeted from the other side.

"Let me guess, you wanna know about how my interview with Dawn went." Chef replied.

"No. I left my coat at the office and was wondering if you could pick it up." Johnson flatly stated.

"Is… Is that sarcasm?" Chef asked. "Can't really tell with you."

"Oh no, my coat really is at the office." Johnson confirmed.

"Okay, guess I'll pick it up for you then." Chef said.

"But, now that you've brought it up, how was the interview with Dawn?" Johnson asked.

"She still kinda weirds me out." Chef admitted. "But I'm lettin' her back on. And don't tell anyone I said this, but I think her weird 'Aura Power' or whatever might be legit."

"Uh huh, all right. I'm hanging up now." Johnson stated.

"Wait, what? Don't ya wanna talk more?" Chef asked. "Usually you guys do."

"No, not today." Johnson answered. "I'm more focused on getting my coat back."

"All right then." Chef replied. "See ya."

Chef hung up on him.

"Dawn wasn't that bad." Chef admitted to himself. "Maybe the next person I talk to can be more like her."

* * *

 **And that was the chapter, folks. Random fact, the aquarium Chef and Dawn went to was loosely based on Ripley's Aquarium in Toronto. I went there once a couple years ago an I liked it there. Anyway, I should have a new chapter up by next week as usual. Don't know who it's gonna be about yet. But I'm thinking either a character from Island or another Revenge of the Island character. That's all I've gotta say. Be sure to leave a review if you feel like it and I'll see you next week. Thanks for reading.**


	10. Dakota

**Two updates in one day. Crazy, right? Anyway, the focus of this chapter is Dakota and it'll be the first chapter to not feature the office building from the previous chapters. Sounds interesting? Well, I hope you guys like this one. I certainly enjoyed writing it. Get on with reading if you feel like it.**

* * *

On a sunny morning, Chris drove down a street in a wealthy looking neighbourhood. His smartphone, set in speakerphone mode, lay on top of the dashboard.

"Okay, walk me through this again." Chef talked at the phone. "Why did I have to drive several towns over today?"

"If you remember, Dakota was infected with radioactive waste." Johnson recapped for him through the phone. "This caused her to become a terrifying, ten foot tall monster with green hair and orange skin."

"Yeah, yeah, I know that." Chef replied. "But then you told me that she was takin' treatment for her mutation."

"Yes, but she still has some noticeable traits leftover from when she was mutated." Johnson explained.

"Wait, what kind of traits?" Chef asked.

"I'm not sure." Johnson admitted. "But apparently, she's very sensitive about it and that's why she doesn't like going too far out of her hometown. Also, if she looks weird, try not to mention it."

"Okay, I think I understand now." Chef said. "You hang up now, I think I'm almost at her house."

"Why can't you hang up again?" Johnson asked.

"I'm drivin', Johnson." Chef irritably pointed out.

"Right, right." Johnson replied. "Farewell."

Johnson hung up on the other side.

"Okay, think that's her house comin' up." Chef commented to himself.

He pulled up to the gates of the largest house on the corner of the street. It was four stories tall and appeared to be the only house in the neighbourhood that had a wall around it. Chef unrolled the window to his car and reached out to a small speaker with some buttons beneath it on one of the stone pillars by the gate. He pressed a button on the speaker.

"Hey, you, I'm here to see Dakota." Chef talked into the speaker.

"Please state your name a business." A male voice from the other side of the speaker requested.

"I'm Chef Hatched and I'm an unlicensed psychiatrist." Chef explained.

"One moment please." The voice replied.

There was a brief silence from the other side.

"Okay, apparently, we're expecting you." The voice confirmed. "Welcome, sir."

The metal gate opened up and Chef drove up the short path to the driveway of the house and parked there. He got out of his car and was almost immediately approached by a woman in a black shirt and pants combo as well as a white apron.

"Welcome Mr. Hatchet, we've been expecting you." The woman greeted.

"Oh, you're one of the housekeepers, right?" Chef said. "Can ya take me to Dakota's room? I'm s'posed to talk to her."

"Of course." The housekeeper replied. "Right this way."

A few minutes later, Chef had just been led for the slightly labyrinthine halls of Dakota's house. He and the housekeeper stopped in front of a door on the second floor.

"Here is young Ms. Milton's room." The housekeeper explained.

"Do you have to talk like that?" Chef asked.

"No." The housekeeper admitted. "But it's fun. Anyway, Dakota's in there and please let the staff know if you need anything."

The housekeeper walked away from the area. Chef knocked on the door to Dakota's room.

"Yo, Dakota, it's Chef. Can I come in?" Chef asked.

"Huh? Oh, sure." He heard Dakota's voice respond from the other side.

Chef pushed open the door and found himself in a brightly coloured bedroom with very expensive looking furniture all around it. Dakota was lying on her bed and reading a book.

"Uh, hi." Chef greeted. "Got anywhere for us to sit down?"

"Oh sure." Dakota replied.

Dakota stood up from her bed. Once she was fully up, it became apparent that she was much taller than Chef had previously remembered. Dakota grabbed two chairs from a corner of the room and set them up facing each other. She and Chef sat down at the chairs.

"So, Dakota I'm gonna be askin' a few questions." Chef explained. "To start off… How tall are you?"

"Seven-foot one." Dakota stated. "And I'd prefer it if you didn't mention that or any other weird things you notice about me."

"Sorry, it's just that whole mutation incident's the main reason I gotta interview you." Chef said. "Speakin' of which, how're you recoverin'?"

"Well, I'm not orange, I don't have spiky hair, and I relearned how to talk. So I guess I'm feeling better." Dakota replied. "But I still feel like a bit of a freak."

"How did you get back to normal anyway?" Chef asked.

"I dunno, a lot of boring science stuff that my dad paid for." Dakota replied.

"Uh huh. And do ya think you'd be ready to come back for another season of Total Drama?" Chef said.

"I'm not really sure." Dakota told him. "I mean, it'd be nice to get out there again, but I'm not totally confident. Y'know what I mean?"

"Not totally." Chef admitted.

"I'm just worried my social skills are a little rusty." Dakota explained. "I've mostly just been talking to my family and the housekeepers that work here. Oh, and Sam comes over sometimes."

"You two are still together?" Chef asked.

"Yep. He's super sweet." Dakota said. "Even when I was a giant monster."

"That's nice to hear." Chef remarked. "I got another question, Is whatever's left of your mutation dangerous?"

"I don't think so." Dakota told him. "I mean, I keep having to duck under doorframes but that's about it. Then again, I haven't really tested out the other parts of my mutation."

"What other parts?" Chef asked.

"Well, I don't really wanna say." Dakota explained. "If I show you just don't judge me too much."

Dakota smiled at Chef and it was at that moment he realized that all of her teeth were still sharp and jagged.

"Oh wow, that actually looks kinda cool." Chef remarked. "Does that cause any problems?"

"I've bitten through forks a few times when I'm eating." Dakota admitted. "But other than that not really. Plus I've started to get better control on my jaw."

"Hey, I got an idea." Chef said. "How 'bout we go outside? You up for that."

"Yeah, sure. I don't really do that too often anymore." Dakota replied.

"Anywhere in the neighborhood you wanna go?" Chef asked.

"We can just hang out in my backyard." Dakota suggested. "I've got a pool."

"Yeah, sure. Works for me." Chef said.

About five minutes later, Chef was walking towards a large pool behind the house with Dakota next to him. She had changed into a yellow and black striped one-piece swimsuit.

"So, uh, what's with the bumblebee look you got goin' on?" Chef asked, observing her choice in swimwear.

"I know, this thing makes me look ridiculous." Dakota admitted as she looked down at her bathing suit. "Turns out, it's very hard to find high-end swimsuits for someone with my measurements. I'm trying to get something custom made tough."

The two of them made it over to the swimming pool. Dakota walked down some concrete steps into the water while Chef took a seat on a lawn chair by the poolside.

"So, like, have any other questions for me?" Dakota asked as she swam around.

"What were you sayin' 'bout your social skills earlier?" Chef asked.

"I just don't talk to people much anymore." Dakota explained. "It's kinda hard to get back into things. 'Cause, like, every time I try to talk to one of my old friends they're all like: 'Hey Dakota, aren't you supposed to be a giant monster'. Know what I mean?"

"No, can't really relate." Chef said.

"Makes sense." Dakota remarked. "But, I guess I'd get to practice talking to people more if I like, went back on the show."

"That's actually a good idea." Chef replied. "But, before I can let you back on I just need to make sure there aren't any other leftovers from your transformation that could be dangerous."

"Uh… Nope, just the sharp teeth and extra height." Dakota said as her eyes shifted around from side to side.

"You sound like yer lyin'." Chef suspected.

"Heh, don't know what you mean." Dakota denied. "Um, I'm gonna swim over here now."

Dakota swam away from Chef towards the other side of the pool.

"Hey, ya can't just get away like that, man." Chef remarked.

Chef stood up from the lawn chair and walked along the edge of the pool in the direction Dakota went.

"See, there ain't many places you can go in a pool." Chef told her.

"Yep, I can see that." Dakota said.

"Now can ya tell me what your other mutant things are so we can get this over with?" Chef requested.

"Look, I feel sensitive about my body all right." Dakota told him. "So just stop asking."

"All right, but I ain't allowed to let you on 'til I know whether or not you're a danger." Chef said.

"C'mon, I wanna talk to more people. Can't you please let me on?" Dakota asked. "I look harmless, don't I?"

"Okay, fair enough." Chef admitted. "But I don't think I'm allowed to give anyone special treatment just because they ask nicely."

"All right, fine. But don't tell anyone about this next part." Dakota told Chef.

"It can't be that bad." Chef remarked.

"It is, all right." Dakota told her. "Okay, just so you'll stop asking I'll tell you this: My hair's still actually green. I just have to keep dyeing my hair blonde."

Chef looked close at Dakota's head and saw that the roots of her hair were indeed a shade of green.

"Really? That's it?" Chef asked. "I didn't notice 'til you pointed it out."

"Look, I care a lot about my looks all right." Dakota explained.

"All right, I ain't gonna tell anyone." Chef told her.

"Thanks." Dakota replied. "I really appreciate it. So, uh, can I come back on your show?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll put you on the yes list." Chef said.

"Yes! Thank you so much!" Dakota cheered. "Trust me, if I get back on the show, I'm gonna like, have so much fun."

"And you're sure there ain't anything else freaky about you I should know about?" Chef asked.

"Nope, that's everything." Dakota said.

"Oh, I got one last question." Chef remarked. "How rich are you exactly?"

"Ah c'mon, I can't tell you everything." Dakota replied.

"All right, fine." Chef said. "See ya later. It's been good. Y'know, I remember you being a lot more annoying back on the island."

"Oh… Thank you?" Dakota replied.

"It was s'posed to be a compliment." Chef explained. "Anyway, see ya later."

"All right, bye." Dakota said.

A little bit later, Chef had gotten back inside his car parked in front of Dakota's house. Before he began driving he picked up his smartphone and looked at it.

"One missed call." Chef read off the screen.

He pressed the "Redial" button and waited for a response.

"Y'ello." The voice of Di Giovanni answered from the other side. "What's crackin'?"

"First off, never say 'What's crackin' ever again." Chef told him. "Second off, did you try to call me earlier?"

"Yep, just wanted to give you a little update." Di Giovanni explained. "Remember how I said you could come back to the city after visiting Dakota…. Well, you might need to drive out to Saskatchewan to visit your next interviewee."

"You're jokin' right?" Chef asked.

"'Fraid not." Di Giovanni explained. "Anywho, I'll just send you all the details over email later. Peace out."

Di Giovanni hung up on the other end.

"Man… How did _this_ become my job?" Chef wondered.

* * *

 **Any guesses on who Chef will interview next? This chapter turend out shorter than expected so I hope it's still okay. I haven't got much else to say about this chapter but I do hope you like the change of setting. If you have any comments about this chapter please be sure to leave a review. Like I said, I don't have much to say so I'm just gonna leave the review here. Thanks for reading.**


	11. Ezekiel

**As a few of you correctly predicted, this chapter will be about Ezekiel. And as stated in the last chapter, it's the second chapter to not take place in the main city the first several chapters were in. I'm planning to do at least one more of these "Travel Chapters". Maybe more than that depending on how well they're received. Anyway, that's about all I've gotta say. Enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

Out on a dirt road going through a cornfield in rural Saskatchewan, Chef cautiously drove his car. On the dashboard, his phone was placed down with speakerphone on.

"So, Chef, how's Saskatchewan?" Chris jokingly asked from the other line. "Be honest."

"I ain't likin' _this_ part of it, that's for sure." Chef replied.

"Ah c'mon, I hear it's great there this time of year." Chris said.

"Look, I just want this to be over. And I sure don't wanna be sent to another part of Canada again." Chef remarked.

"Just take in the sights." Chris advised him.

"What sights? This entire Province is flat." Chef stated. "Why do I even gotta drive out here just to talk to Ezekiel?"

"It's pretty similar to what happened with Dakota." Chris explained. "He's still recovering from, uh, whatever happened to him, and he's become kind of a recluse. I'm sure you can handle it. From what I hear he's a pretty nice guy. But be careful, his family's kinda weird."

"Wait, weird?" Chef asked. "Weird how?"

"I dunno, just weird." Chris replied. "Anyway, I've got a haircut appointment now. Talk to you later."

Chris hung up on the other side.

"Okay, just gotta get through this. Can't be that bad, right?" Chef told himself.

The cornfield ended and Chef saw that the dirt road led up to a farmhouse, barn, and silos out in a clearing.

"Guess this is the place." Chef remarked as he slowed his car to a stop.

Chef exited the car and approached the farmhouse. Once he got closer and saw a man wearing suspenders and a dirty white t-shirt on the porch. His hair was short and black and he had an Abraham Lincoln-style beard. The farmer cast a blank stare at Chef.

"Uh, are you Ezekiel's dad?" Chef asked.

"Aye, I am his father." The farmer replied in an accent Chef couldn't quite pinpoint. "My name is Mose."

"Well, um, Mose. I'm Chef and I'm his unofficial psychiatrist. From that reality show he was on several years back." Chef explained.

"Yes, my wife Ethaline and I got the note your show sent us." Mose remembered. "Ezekiel's up in his room. Please, let me or Ethaline know if you need anything."

"Quick question, why were you just staring at the cornfield?" Chef asked.

"You never know when someone might be in there trying to steal your award-winning corn cobs." Mose replied.

"Right… I'm just gonna go find Zeke." Chef said.

A few minutes later, Chef had gone to the upstairs area of the farmhouse and was in front of a door with a wooden plaque on it with the words "Zeke's Room" carved into it. Chef knocked on the door.

"Hey, Zeke, can I come in?" Chef asked.

"Huh, oh, sure thing." He heard Ezekiel replied from inside. "I'll get the door for you."

The door opened and on the other side stood Ezekiel. Chef immediately noticed that Ezekiel was paler than he remembered and had shorter hair.

"So, you're s'posed to interview me, eh?" Ezekiel remarked. "I set up a little table for us."

"Oh, all right." Chef replied.

Chef entered Ezekiel's rather plain looking room and noticed two wooden chairs set up across from each other at a table. Chef and Ezekiel sat down.

"So, I'll just be askin' you a few questions." Chef said. "For starters, how's the recovery goin'?"

"Uh, it's all right I guess." Ezekiel remarked. "Some of my foot skin is still peeling."

"Okay… That was more than I wanted to know." Chef said.

"But y'know, I'm not trying to attack people anymore. So that's a step up I guess." Ezekiel went on.

"How's home life. Have you readjusted to being non-feral?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, I think I'm doin' all right." Ezekiel admitted. "I've been workin' with my family's livestock a little better. Betty, one of our cows, used to kick me all the time but now she doesn't. Think being feral might have helped me understand 'em better. Pretty crazy, eh?"

"Yeah, crazy." Chef repeated Ezekiel. "Has any of this affected your social life?"

"Don't think so. My parents and my sister are just glad that I'm back to normal." Ezekiel commented. "And-"

"Hold up, you have a sister?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, I have a little sister, eh." Ezekiel said. "What's weird about that?"

"Just never knew before, that's all." Chef remarked. "Anyway, go on."

"Oh, well, all the other guys my age over in Dog River, that's the nearest town, they just got a lotta questions." Ezekiel continued. "They seem to be pretty interested. They aren't really freaked out or anything though. Pretty weird, eh."

"Yeah, agreed." Chef said. "Don't take this personally, but if I heard you used to be, uh, whatever that was you were, I wouldn't wanna go near you."

"Oh, I understand, eh." Ezekiel admitted. "I don't like rememberin' all that feral stuff that happened. Which is why it kinda bugs me when all the guys in town don't wanna stop askin' about it."

"That all they ever talk about?" Chef asked.

"No, they sometimes wanna ask about other stuff from the show." Ezekiel answered. "There isn't much goin' on around here so y'know, I get why they're always askin' about Total Drama."

"Y'know Zeke, for a guy that went feral you seem weirdly stable." Chef admitted. "But just be sure, I'm gonna have to follow you around. Y'know, make sure you don't try to, I dunno, eat a rat or something. Just do something you'd do on a normal day and I'll follow you."

"Oh, sure thing, eh. We can go for a walk." Ezekiel suggested.

"That don't sound too bad." Chef agreed.

A few minutes later, Chef was following Ezekiel through a path in the cornfield.

"Uh, this ain't what I thought you meant when you said go for a walk." Chef remarked.

"What's the matter with corn?" Ezekiel asked.

"I saw way too much of it on the drive over." Chef explained.

"Well we'd have to drive out a lot if you wanted to reach Dog River." Ezekiel told him. "So this is the best you've got for now, eh."

"All right, all right, whatever." Chef said. "I got some more questions. For starters, do you still believe all that stuff you said about girls in season one?"

"Huh? Oh, no definitely not." Ezekiel replied. "'Specially after it got me kicked off first."

"That's good to know." Chef remarked. "So, uh, this question is something the producers told me to ask. You ain't plannin' to take legal action against the show, are you?"

"No, why would I? I can't think of a reason, eh." Ezekiel responded.

"Y'know, 'cause of the whole, low safety standards thing." Chef told him.

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense, eh." Ezekiel admitted. "But even if we tried to, y'know, sue you or whatever, we probably wouldn't win. My father doesn't believe in lawyers."

"Why's that?" Chef asked.

"I dunno, never bothered to ask." Ezekiel commented.

"So Zeke, there's a big thing I need to check on, all right." Chef said. "Are there any freaky effects from your feral days that are still around? 'Cause if there are, I'm s'posed to report on it."

"No, don't think so. I still have that peeling skin but my mom's got some medicine for that." Ezekiel explained.

"Ugh, stop bringin' up your skin, man." Chef requested.

"Oh, sorry, eh." Ezekiel apologized. "But anyway, those guys at the, uh, rehabilitation centre. They fixed me up real good before I was discharged."

"Well, I gotta say, everything's lookin' surprisingly good for you." Chef admitted. "I think I'll go ahead and approve you."

"H-hold on there just a minute, eh!" Ezekiel suddenly exclaimed as he stopped in his tracks. "I'm not so sure I wanna come back."

"Wait, what? Why not?" Chef asked, turning to face Ezekiel.

"Well, I struck out the first time and then _really_ struck out the second time." Ezekiel explained. "After all that farm life's not sounding so bad, eh."

"Okay, I see your point. But I can't say you're not allowed back just 'cause of that." Chef told him. "Producers say that not wanting to ain't a good enough reason to be rejected. They want a large pool of contestants to choose from for whatever the next season is."

"Man, there isn't any alternative?" Ezekiel asked. "What're the chances of me getting brought back anyway?"

"I'd say moderately high." Chef remarked. "Accordin' to the popularity chart on Sierra's blog you're right between Tyler and Anne Maria."

"You read Sierra's blog?" Ezekiel questioned.

"Yes." Chef flatly stated. "And that's all I'm willin' to say about it."

"H-hold on, are there any other alternatives to me being put on the 'Yes List'?" Ezekiel asked. "Seriously man, I had a horrible time in season three."

"That's an understatement for sure." Chef commented. "Okay, gimme a moment to think, let's walk for a bit."

"Oh, sure thing, eh." Ezekiel replied.

The two of them went back to strolling through the cornfield.

"Okay, so, let's think of ways to get you off the show." Chef told him. "Let's talk hypotheticals or whatever. If you were on another season of Total Drama, name three emotions you'd feel."

"Uh, fear, nervousness, and… Um…" Ezekiel stared off at the sky trying to think of another word. "More fear."

"Uh huh, that certainly tells me a whole lot." Chef commented.

"Oh, uh, thanks, eh." Ezekiel remarked. "Got any more questions."

"Okay, let's say you were back for another season. How far do you think you'd get?" Chef asked.

"Well, I'd hope I go pretty early. Maybe even first again." Ezekiel said. "'Cause seriously, I _don't_ wanna go back there, eh."

"So would you say the idea of goin' back on Total Drama gives you emotional stress?" Chef continued asking.

"Uh, not sure if I'd phrase it exactly like that but y'know, I guess that could apply." Ezekiel replied. "So, yeah, I guess so, eh."

"Well, that sure sounds like it's a good reason to not go back on the show." Chef told him.

"So you're saying I don't have to go back?" Ezekiel asked.

"Yep, but your contract says you gotta still attend reunion specials or whatever." Chef explained.

"Still beats goin' on the actual show." Ezekiel said.

"Well, hope you enjoy farm life." Chef remarked. "Me, I'm goin' back to the big city."

"Oh, okay then." Ezekiel replied. "So just so we're clear, I'm not allowed to come back to Total Drama."

"Nope. Only for non-competing purposes." Chef reiterated.

"Wow, thanks a million, eh." Ezekiel remarked. "You got no idea how relieved I am."

"Yeah, I think you're the only person I know that's gone feral." Chef agreed.

"Oh, before you go ask my mom for a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie." Ezekiel advised him. "It's a family tradition to bake guests a pie. Not too sure why though. Think it started to end a feud with another family."

"Well, I ain't sayin' no to pie." Chef remarked. "All right, you take care Zeke."

Chef turned around and began walking back towards the farmhouse.

A while later, Chef had gotten back in his car and was carrying a brown paper bag. He sniffed at the big.

"Hmm, that pie does smell pretty good." Chef admitted. "I'd better save it for later though."

Chef picked his cellphone off his dashboard and dialed a number to one of the producers into it. After waiting a few moments, somebody picked up on the other side.

"Yes, this is Johansson. What do you want?" Johansson greeted Chef from the other side.

"Just wanted to give you Zeke's update." Chef explained.

"Let me guess, as usual, he's back on the show." Johansson speculated. "We've gotten so used to this I don't even know-"

"No actually, he ain't comin' back." Chef told her.

"So is he still… You know, _feral_?" Johansson asked.

"Nah, that's all better." Chef said. "He just said the idea of bein' back on the show gave him a lotta emotional stress."

"Hmm, yes, I suppose that does make sense." Johansson admitted.

"But he'll still come back from any reunion specials." Chef added.

"Excellent." Johansson said.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get home now." Chef remarked.

"Not just one second, we have a, um, new last minute stop for you." Johansson informed him.

"Oh goddammit, Di Giovanni said this was it for me." Chef complained.

"Yes, yes, I realize that." Johansson said. "But this place is on the way back. We just need you to make a pit stop at Stevenson Detention Centre in Manitoba."

"Uh, 'Detention Centre'. There are only two options for who could be in there and I ain't likin' either of them." Chef remarked.

"Don't worry, I'll send you an email with all the information soon enough." Johansson told him. "Have a nice day."

Johansson hung up on the other side. Chef let out a long, frustrated exhale.

"Think I'm just gonna go ahead and eat the pie now." Chef remarked to himself.

* * *

 **And that was the chapter. Fun fact, the name and appearance of Ezekiel's father is based off Dwight's cousin from the American version of the Office. Also, I got the name of the town Ezekiel mentioned, Dog River, from the TV show Corner Gas (Which is set is Saskatchewan). Anyway, as stated in both the previous authors note and the chapter itself, Chef has to meet another contestant in their home environment. Well, that's about all I've gotta say. Thanks for reading.**


	12. Scarlett

**As some of you predicted, Scarlett is the subject of this chapter. It ended up being shorter than I anticipated but I don't really mind all that much. This is intended to be the last of the "Travel Chapters". For now at least. I might do another short collection of Chef travelling later. Not quite sure yet. Anyway, that's all I've got for the opening. Have fun with the actual chapter now.**

* * *

One midday, Chef paced around in the parking lot in front of a large stone building. A nearby sign identified the building as "Stevenson Detention Centre". Chef was on the phone with one of his producers and didn't sound very happy about what was about to happen.

"Ya can't make me do this, man!" Chef angrily declared. "I ain't goin' in there."

"Chef, buddy, that isn't how you start a conversation." Di Giovanni calmly replied from the other end. "Just take a few deep breaths and calm down."

"When I heard I'd be goin' to prison I thought I'd be talkin' to Duncan." Chef continued, not heeding Di Giovanni's advice. "Not Scarlett. Ain't she the whole reason this thing got put together in the first place? She should get an automatic no."

"Well, Duncan got out of prison anyway." Di Giovanni said. "And besides, I'm sure interviewing Scarlett is worth a shot."

"Worth a shot?!" Chef angrily repeated. "She tried to blow up the god damn island!"

"Listen, I don't make the rules here." Di Giovanni replied. "Well, okay, maybe just a little bit. But the point is, you're already here. So get in there and talk to Scarlett."

"Fine." Chef begrudgingly replied. "But I'm just sayin' it's not going to end well."

A while later, Chef found himself sitting in an open room at a wooden table with an empty seat facing him. Around him were many other tables that prisoners at the detention centre talked to their friends and family at. There were several prison guard stationed at various spots in the room.

"Hmm, where's Scarlett." Chef wondered. "She'd better not pop out of somewhere and surprise me."

A minute or so later, Scarlett, wearing an orange prison uniform, was led out from another room by two prison guards.

"Huh, there we go." Chef remarked.

The guards led Scarlett over to where Chef was sitting and she sat in front of him. She had her hair tied up in a bun and wore her glasses.

"Salutations, Chef. How are you on this fine day?" Scarlett greeted.

"Um, hello." Chef replied. "So, you know why I'm here today, right?"

"You're here to evaluate my mental state." Scarlett confirmed. "Which I assure is in tip-top condition."

"You tried to blow up the whole island and steal the prize money." Chef said.

"Oh, that's all in the past now." Scarlett insisted. "I'm a changed woman. Once my sentence is served it'll be on the straight and narrow."

Scarlett grabbed one of Chef's hands in a way that she meant to be reassuring.

"No touching!" One of the guards yelled.

"My apologies." Scarlett said as she pulled her hands away from Chef. "Now Chef, where were we?"

"I was s'posed to be askin' questions." Chef told her. "Now, are ya sure that you've made progress since you were arrested?"

"Most definitely." Scarlett stated again. "I mean it when I say I have turned over a new leaf. Simply put, I shall only use my great intelligence to help others."

"I ain't too sure I believe you." Chef admitted.

"Perfectly understandable." Scarlett said. "But please, if you let me back on I'll do everything in my power to prove myself."

"I'm gonna change subjects for a moment." Chef told her. "Has anyone from Pahkitew Island come to visit you?"

"Hmm, yes actually. As it turns out, Max lives surprisingly nearby." Scarlett explained. "He came by to tell me that he's ready to work together as soon as I get out. I told him no, of course."

"He's annoying ain't he." Chef remarked. "Real punchable face."

"I know what you're doing and it won't work." Scarlett told him. "You're not going to awaken some repressed dark side of me. I am changed completely."

"I ain't gonna believe you just 'cause you keep repeating the same stuff." Chef said.

"Chef, what can I do to prove to you that this lovely institution has shown me the error of my ways and helped me reform?" Scarlett asked.

"I'm not too sure." Chef admitted. "It's just that you ain't all that trustworthy seemin'. Tell me what you wanna do once you get out of here."

"I'd attend college and get my life back on track." Scarlett claimed. "Then I'd join the field of silence and become a valuable member of society."

"Okay, I feel like I'm getting' nowhere here." Chef remarked. "You just keep sayin' the same stuff I know ain't true."

"I understand that you're hesitant to trust me." Scarlett said. "But you need to have faith that good exists in this world."

Scarlett puts her hand on Chef's shoulder in an attempt to get him to trust her.

"No touching!" The same guard yelled again.

"Sorry." Scarlett apologized, bringing her hand away.

"Hey, do they allow us to go outside and talk?" Chef asked. "I've kinda gotten used to doing that."

"I'm not sure. I'll go ask." Scarlett replied.

Scarlett waved over to a tall athletic female guard. The guard approached her.

"Can I help you?" The guard asked.

"Yes, is it at all possible to walk outside somewhere with my friend here?" Scarlett requested.

"Yeah, we got that. But it's a contained area where you will be heavily monitored." The guard explained. "So no funny stuff."

"No problem at all." Scarlett told her. "You can expect nothing but the best from me. Isn't that right, Chef?"

"No comment." Chef replied.

"All right, I'll take you outside." The guard said.

A little while later, Chef was wandering around a small, well guarded, fenced in stretch of grassy field with Scarlett beside him.

"So, Chef, what other topics of discussion do you have for me?" Scarlett inquired.

"Have any science projects you've been working on while incarcerated?" Chef asked.

"No, it's quite hard to achieve scientific progress when you're monitored twenty-four seven." Scarlett explained. "But I have some plans written down for when I get out."

"Like what?" Chef questioned.

"I have a plan for a machine that could revolutionize the agricultural industry." Scarlett replied. "I don't want to give away too much. But let's just say it'll make the combine harvester obsolete."

"Okay, that actually sounds interesting." Chef admitted.

"Thank you. I'm glad you have an appreciation for the field of scientific progress." Scarlett replied.

"Another question right here. When you took over the island, was it spur of the moment or was it a premeditated type of deal?" Chef asked.

"It's half and half." Scarlett said. "Once I had figured out Pahkitew Island was artificial, I decided to take full advantage of the situation."

"By holdin' everyone hostage." Chef added.

"Yes." Scarlett replied. "Not my proudest moment."

"That's a very nonchalant way to talk about tryin' to kill a bunch of people and steal a million dollars." Chef remarked.

"You need to learn to let things go." Scarlett said. "Be positive, all right."

"All right, I'm positive that you haven't changed." Chef replied.

"Ha ha, such clever wordplay." Scarlett said. "I must say Hatchet, I misjudged you as a brute when I first watched your program."

"Can you just talk like a normal person?" Chef requested.

"My apologies. I must admit, my large vocabulary has confused quite a few of my fellow inmates." Scarlett remarked.

"You sure any colleges will want an ex-convict in their school?" Chef asked.

"When they see the body of my work, they'll be impressed." Scarlett said. "And with my amazing debating skills, that should be enough to get into the college of my choice."

"Well, good for you." Chef replied.

"I'm having trouble detecting the sincerity of that sentence but I think I'll say thank you anyway." Scarlett remarked.

"Can any of the guards vouch for how good you say you're being?" Chef asked.

"Most definitely." Scarlett confirmed. "They'll tell you that I've been nothing but quiet and well behaved. Really, go ask one of them yourself."

"Okay, I will." Chef told her.

The two of them approached a guard standing by the fence.

"Hey, you, is Scarlett over here on her best behavior?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, she's been pretty quiet." The guard agreed.

"Dammit, guess you were telling the truth." Chef remarked.

"Indeed I was." Scarlett said.

Scarlett and Chef walked away from the guard.

"So, are you ready to pass final judgement now?" Scarlett asked.

"One last question. What's with the glasses?" Chef inquired. "I know you don't actually need them."

"Yes, I realize that I am in fact not visually impaired." Scarlett admitted. "These are simply non-prescription glasses that I thought would be a good look for me. Now, does this cover everything? I am most eager to hear if I'm accepted."

"Yep, I think I've finally decided." Chris told her.

The two of them stopped walking around and faced each other.

"And I'm getting back on I presume?" Scarlett asked.

"Hmm… No." Chef bluntly stated.

"I… I'm sorry, what?" Scarlett said.

"Still don't trust you enough." Chef explained.

Scarlett's face contorted into a frown and she began to breathe both heavily and angrily.

"Listen to me, you insolent moron." Scarlett told him. "I did everything right! Why can't I come back on?!"

Scarlett grabbed on to Chef's shirt and attempted to shake him. Two guards immediately rushed over to the two of them and pulled Scarlett away. Scarlett struggled as the guards attempted to restrain her.

"No touching!" One of the guards yelled.

"I played my cards perfectly! I was nice to you!" Scarlett continued yelling. "I perfectly hid all the telltale signs of a liar! How did you know I was faking it?!"

"Um, I didn't." Chef tried to explain as calmly as he could.

"What?" Scarlett asked, sounding a mix of both angry and confused.

"I was testin' you to see how you'd react." Chef explained. "And ya failed pretty hard."

Scarlett broke free from the guard's grip and ran at Chef. She raised an open hand and attempted to attack him but was quickly restrained by the guards again.

"No touching!" The same guard yelled again.

"You'll pay for this, Hatchet! The first thing I'll do when I get out is kill you!" Scarlett shouted. "Just wait, I'll haunt your every waking hour!"

The two guards dragged Scarlett away from Chef and into another room.

"That coulda gone better." Chef remarked to himself.

A different guard approached Chef.

"Um, I'll lead you out now, sir." The guard awkwardly said to Chef. "So sorry about that incident. Usually, she _really is_ quiet and reserved."

"Uh huh, okay." Chef replied.

A little while later, Chef was back to pacing around in the parking lot on his cell phone.

"Man! That was terrible." Chef complained into his phone. "It was goin' pretty good and I was about a quarter convinced but right at the very end she tried to attack me."

"So I take it she isn't getting back on." Johnson remarked from the other line.

"Oh yeah, she definitely ain't comin' back." Chef said.

"Well, thanks for checking anyway." Johnson replied. "Well, gotta go now."

"Hold up, are ya sendin' me to another far corner of the country again or can I finally go back home?" Chef asked.

"Oh, it's perfectly fine for you to head home now." Johnson told him. "We'll email you about who's visiting next shortly."

"Thank god, I was gettin' sick of motel bedrooms." Chef remarked. "If I gotta go out again, can't ya set me up somewhere nicer?"

"Would you look at the time? I've gotta go." Johnson commented before hanging up on the other line.

Chef put his phone back in his pocket.

"Okay, at least I get to go home now." Chef remarked to himself.

* * *

 **The "No touching" gag was shamelessly lifted from Arrested Development. But I thought it was funny and fit the setting so I decided to include it. As stated previously, the next chapter is going to be back at the city most of the previous chapters were set in. Not quite sure how I'm going to be writing about yet but I'll figure it out. As usual, it should be out next week. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading.**


	13. Dave

**And here it is. The latest chapter. Don't know what to say about it. Well actually, the one thing I can say is that it actually ended up being longer than I expected. Which is actually the opposite of how the last several chapters had ended up funnily enough. I don't have much else to say but I sure do hope that you all like this. Please enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

One early morning, Chef trudged up a stairwell with one hand on the railing on the other hand on his cell phone. He was angrily engaged in a conversation with one of his producer.

"Yeah, one of the elevators was outta service again. So that meant the other two were packed." Chef spoke to whoever was on the other end of the phone. "So I just decided to walk up the stairs."

"And are you regretting this?" The voice of Johansson asked from the other end.

"Little bit." Chef admitted. "Legs are killin' me, man."

"I would've taken the crowded elevator." Johansson remarked. "So anyway, why is it that you're calling."

"I just wanted to make sure I'm talkin' to Dave today." Chef explained.

"Yes, of course you're talking to him." Johansson replied. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"The last two times this guy was s'posed to show up he hasn't." Chef reminded her. "Somethin' 'bout his hair."

"Well Chef, this time I assure you he will be there." Johansson said.

"He'd better be." Chef remarked.

"Well, yeah, I just said he would be." Johansson restated.

"All right, all right. Sorry if I sound upset." Chef said. "I'm just real tired right now is all."

"Like I said, the elevator would have been my choice." Johansson remarked. "Anyway, I wouldn't want to keep you. Goodbye now."

Johansson hung up on the other end.

"I was almost at my floor anyways." Chef remarked as he pocketed his cell phone.

After a few more moments, Chef reached the top of the flight of stairs he was on. He caught his breath and pushed open the door on the landing.

"Here we go…" Chef panted as he walked down the hall.

He stopped in front of the door that most of his interviews usually began in.

"Okay, here it goes." Chef remarked to himself. "I swear to god, he'd better not be actin' all crazy."

Chef opened the door and saw Dave sitting at the interview table.

"Oh, great, you're here." Dave remarked upon seeing Chef. "Hey, how often is this room cleaned? Just curious. Because I saw some cobwebs in the corner."

"I dunno, kid. Ask the janitor." Chef told him.

Chef walked over to the table and sat down in front of Dave.

"Okay, Dave, I'm gonna be askin' you some questions." Chef told him. "To start off, how's your hair?"

"Why are you asking about the hair?" Dave asked as he self consciously ran his finger through his hair. "I knew it still looked weird! Ugh, should've waited again."

"No, no, your hair's fine." Chef told him. "Just makin' sure you liked it since it's the reason you cancelled our last two meetings."

"Look, it took forever to get the right haircut after my hair grew back in." Dave explained. "I tried a whole bunch of different styles but in the end, I just went for my old one."

Chef nodded in response and reached under his chair where he pulled out the folder of contestant files. He sifted through the papers until he pulled out the one on Dave.

"Okay, Dave, says here I'm gonna be lookin' into your 'Anger Problems and Germophobia'." Chef read off the paper.

"That's fine. But I would like to say that I don't have an anger problem." Dave denied.

"Uh huh, sure ya don't. Look, I'm just gonna start off with a few questions." Chef told him. "To start off: How're things with Sky?"

"I… I've tried to talk to her since the show." Dave explained. "But usually we just end up arguing about who's fault it was and we never really get anywhere."

"And who's fault do you think it was?" Chef asked.

"Her's obviously." Dave said, sounding annoyed. "She had so many chances to tell me but she waited until the very last minute."

"She also wanted to tell you right from the start but you didn't listen to that." Chef pointed out.

"Are we really gonna argue about this?" Dave asked.

"Nah, I should prob'ly ask some other questions." Chef told him. "We'll get to Sky later though."

"So what other questions do you have?" Dave said.

"Have you been talkin' to anyone else from your season since you left?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, yeah, some of the more _normal_ ones." Dave answered. "Jasmine, Shawn, the twin without the mole, and also Topher for some reason. But other than that, everyone else is a complete freak. Or in the other twin's case kinda just unpleasant."

"Have you been feelin' more stable since last season?" Chef asked

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Dave said.

"C'mon man, you went totally mental during last season's finale." Chef reminded him. "Don't act like you don't know."

"I think I behaved perfectly reasonably." Dave claimed. "In fact, you guys are lucky I didn't try to take any legal action against you for leaving me on that island."

"Yer gettin' off topic." Chef told him. "We need to talk about your freak out in the finale."

"Jog my memory. Because I don't remember anything." Dave denied.

"C'mon man, you totally went into revenge mode when ya found out Sky had a boyfriend." Chef said. "Tried to bury her with an avalanche I think. Somethin' like that."

"If you were in my shoes you'd be mad too." Dave told him. "Besides, it's not like I was trying to hurt her or anything. I just didn't want Sky to win."

"Uh huh, lemme just check your file for a sec." Chef remarked, glancing down at the file on the table.

"Well, what's it say?" Dave wondered.

"Dave, ever thought about talkin' to Sky again?" Chef asked.

"Why are you so fixated on me and her?" Dave said.

"Your relationship with her is the main reason we're talkin' to you right now." Chef told him. "So answer the question."

"All right, fine." Dave replied. "I guess I have thought about it. I've just never acted on it. I'm worried it wouldn't work out too well, to be honest."

"So are ya still angry at her?" Chef asked.

Dave paused and thought about it for a moment.

"Yes." Dave finally responded. "But I'm sure she's angry at me so I feel like it evens things out."

"Let's say you go back on the show and you two get put on the same team." Chef said. "How do ya think you'd handle that."

"Give me another moment." Dave requested before starting off at the wall behind Chef in thought.

"Take yer time." Chef told him. "We got all day here."

"I don't think I handled it that well." Dave abruptly admitted.

"Oh, that was quick." Chef remarked.

Chef jotted down something in Dave's file.

"I'm not saying I'd go nuts or anything… It's that…" Dave trailed off, thinking. "I'm not really sure how to explain it, to be honest. Hey, can we do that thing where you take me somewhere in the city to help me think better?"

"How do ya know 'bout that?" Chef asked.

"Read it on Sierra's blog." Dave explained.

"Why do you read Sierra's blog?" Chef questioned.

"Hey, I don't have to justify myself. You read it too." Dave pointed out.

"How do you- Oh, right, Sierra wrote about it." Chef remembered. "Anyway, sure, we can go somewhere. Do you got anywhere in mind?"

"Hmm… Not really." Dave admitted. "What's somewhere you'd call 'Sanitary'?"

"I know a café." Chef replied. "That sound good?"

"I don't drink caffeine." Dave told him.

"Well, ya don't have to get a coffee." Chef said.

"Fine. I'll go." Dave remarked.

"All right, let's head on out." Chef responded.

Later, Chef and Dave were walking next to each other on the street. Neither of them had said anything to each other since they left the office building.

"So how far away is this café?" Dave eventually asked.

"Not much further." Chef said.

"Good." Dave replied. "So do you have any more questions?"

"I'm tryin' to think of some." Chef remarked. "I got one, are ya still freakin' out about germs all the time?"

"Hey, don't make fun of me for that." Dave said. "If you've read as many books as me, you'd realize how filthy the stuff you touch every day is."

"Well, I'm glad I don't read as much as you, 'cause I ain't paranoid 'bout washin' my hands every ten seconds." Chef told him.

"You may laugh, but I won't ever give up on being sanitary." Dave replied.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Chef said. "Here's another question. How would ya feel if you went back for another season? What'd you do?"

"Who'd be on the season? And where would I be?" Dave asked.

"Uh, I dunno." Chef admitted.

"You gotta give me more context to go off of." Dave told him.

"Okay, fine. Gimme a sec and I'll help you out." Chef said.

The pair walked for a few more minutes before stopping in front of a business with a sign above it reading "Café Lafayette".

"Here we are!" Chef announced, gesturing to the same. "Look at that name, don't it sound classy?"

"Yeah, yeah, pretty classy." Dave admitted. "Let's just get in there so we can talk."

"All right, fine." Chef replied. "I wanted a coffee anyway."

A little while later, Dave and Chef were sitting at a small table in the café. Each of them had a cup of coffee in front of them. Dave had a plate with a muffin in front of him as well.

"Okay, are ya all settled down now?" Chef asked before taking a small sip of his coffee.

"Yeah, now you can ask me questions or whatever." Dave told him.

"Right, so, if you were on another season, what would you do?" Chef asked. "Let's just say it's back on Pahkitew Island but you're stuck with the same batch of contestants from All-Stars."

"I'm annoyed pretty easily so some of the… Oddballs, would probably really irritate me." Dave admitted. "But I'd probably get along with, y'know, the normal people. I'm a really friendly guy as long as you aren't too crazy like that wizard guy or Ella."

"Now, the main thing we're worried about is how you'd interact with Sky." Chef explained. "And so far, that ain't soundin' so good."

"I'm not a dangerous person, I swear." Dave insisted. "I'm sure I could handle being in the same season as her perfectly well."

"Hmm... I think I got a way we can test this." Chef said.

"How?" Dave asked.

"We're gonna act out a scenario. I pretend to be Sky and you act like you would in this situation." Chef explained.

"That sounds... Really weird." Dave told him.

"I know, but it's the only way I can think of." Chef said. "Plus I've seen people do stuff like this on TV. What's the worst that can happen."

"All right, fine. Let's try it out." Dave replied.

"Okay, so, I'm gonna be Sky and Chris just put us both on the same team." Chef told him. "This is prob'ly gonna be super awkward and weird but let's just go for it."

"Oh, uh, all right. You start this off." Dave said.

"Um, hello Dave, it looks like we're on the same team." Chef said in an awkward monotone voice.

"Can you try to make your voice sound like Sky?" Dave requested. "Because right now this is a little weird."

"I'm not doin' a funny voice." Chef told him.

"Okay, fine. Let's just try it again." Dave remarked.

"Hey Dave, it looks like we're on the same team." Chef repeated in the same tone of voice.

"Well, um, Sky, it looks like we sure are." Dave tried to play along, sounding slightly uncomfortable.

"So Dave, we certainly have a lotta history, don't we." Chef continued.

"Uh, yes, we sure do." Dave said.

The two of them paused, both unsure as to how this fictional interaction should continue.

"Are you goin' to apologize?" Chef asked, still attempting to stay in character.

"What for?" Dave replied.

"Buryin' me under an avalanche." Chef told him. "That ain't cool, man."

"It was a split decision, okay." Dave argued.

"So are you sorry about it?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess so." Dave admitted. "I guess I'm just stubborn."

The two of them awkwardly sat around, unsure of what to do next.

"Okay, are we done here?" Dave asked.

"Uh huh, sure. That was gettin' kinda weird." Chef admitted.

"So am I back on the show?" Dave asked.

"Yeah, you're allowed to come back. But for boring legal reasons, we're gonna have to kick you off if ya ain't civil around Sky." Chef explained.

"Since when does this show care about rules?" Dave wondered.

"The network execs got real mad 'bout the whole Scarlett incident." Chef told him. "So now we gotta follow serious regulations."

"Yeah, that makes sense." Dave remarked.

"Well, I'd better get goin'. I've got stuff to do at home." Chef told him.

"One last thing." Dave said. "Is wherever next season takes place gonna be clean?"

"Oh, definitely not." Chef replied.

"Dammit..." Dave muttered before taking a sip of his coffee. "Well, it was worth a shot."

"See ya later." Chef said.

Chef stood up, grabbed his paper coffee cup, and began walking out of the cafe. He got out on the street and kept walking down the sidewalk. He then took his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number into it. After some ringing, the other line picked up.

"Hey there, what's up?" Chris replied from the other line. "Finish your thing with Dave yet?"

"Yep, went down pretty well." Chef said. "I was expectin' him to act a lot more crazy."

"Well, I guess this makes up for the last two people you talked to not coming back." Chris remarked.

"Hey, the main reason I'm callin' is that I wanna know how many of these people I gotta talk to." Chef said.

"Oh, I've seen the full list and you aren't close to done yet." Chris told him.

"Man, why don't I have access to this list?" Chef asked.

"There'd be less element of surprise that way. Either that or we're just too lazy to send it to you." Chris said. "One or the other."

"So could ya send it to me?" Chef requested.

"I'll try my best." Chris replied.

"Uh huh, sure you will." Chef said. "Well, guess I'd better go now."

"All right, good talkin' to you." Chris remarked. "Bye now."

Chef hung up the phone and pocketed it.

"Let's just pray for someone normal next time." Chef said.

* * *

 **And that was the chapter folks. I had fun writing it and I hope you had fun reading it. As usual, there should be another chapter up by next week. I already have an idea of who I want the next chapter to be about. I'll give you a hint, it's another Revenge of the Island character. But anyway, please be sure to leave a review if you feel like telling me your thoughts on the chapter. Thanks for reading.**


	14. Zoey

**And welcome back to another chapter. The subject of today's chapter is Zoey. Someone who I hadn't originally planned on writing about. But when one of my readers asked about it I decided that I did have some material to write about here. Anyway, I don't have much else to say for this opening so here's what I've got.**

* * *

On yet another early morning, Chef paced around the lobby of the TV Network Offices while on his cellphone.

"Hey, it's Chef here, I just wanted to check on somethin'." Chef spoke into the phone.

"Yes, what is it this time?" The voice of Johnson asked from the other side.

"Ya told me I'd be talkin' to Zoey today." Chef said. "Why am I doin' that exactly?"

"What do you mean by that?" Johnson asked.

"Compared to everyone else I've talked to here, she seems y'know, normal." Chef explained. "I don't see much point in talkin' to her."

"She's here for one reason. That weird 'Commando' persona she had briefly." Johnson answered. "Does that make sense to you?"

"Yeah, yeah I guess so." Chef admitted. "She was weirdly strong when she was all like that."

"So have I cleared up all your questions?" Johnson asked.

"Uh huh, think that about covers it." Chef said.

"Excellent. I'll talk to you later." Johnson replied.

Johnson hung up on the other end.

"Okay. I'd better get on up there." Chef remarked.

A little while later, Chef was up on the floor he usually held the interviews in. He walked down the hall towards the room he usually went to.

"Okay, it's just Zoey. It ain't gonna go bad at all." Chef told himself. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Chef walked over to the door to the interview room and pushed it opened. Inside he saw Zoey sitting at the table. She looked rather bored and was staring off into space.

"Oh, you're here." Zoey remarked. "Uh, hi."

"How you doin'?" Chef greeted her.

Chef sat down in front of Zoey at the table.

"So, um, why am I here exactly?" Zoey asked. "I don't wanna sound self-centred, but I think I'm pretty stable."

"I'm gonna be straight up, ya seem like a nice lady and also weirdly athletic. Don't see a problem with that." Chef told her. "It's just that whole 'Commando' incident is what makes the producers worried."

"That? It was one time." Zoey said.

"I know it's ridiculous." Chef replied. "So lemme just look over your file and we can send ya on your way."

"Oh, sure thing." Zoey remarked.

Chef reached under his chair and pulled out the large folder of contestant files. He pulled out the paper marked Zoey and looked at it.

"Okay, this one's pretty detailed." Chef said.

"What's it say?" Zoey asked.

"Well, says the reason they want me to examine you. But I already knew that." Chef began. "Got some stuff 'bout your background here… No siblings, born in a small town… You got a stay at home mom and a busy dad with an office job."

"Wow, that is a lot of info you have on me." Zoey remarked. "… Kinda makes me feel weird."

"It's already in the file. Can't do anything to change it." Chef replied. "Lemme see… What else have we got in this thing?"

"Nothing too personal I hope." Zoey remarked.

"Says here that you're considered one of the strongest contestants." Chef read from the paper.

"What, you mean, like physically?" Zoey asked.

"Think so." Chef replied. "Whoever wrote this has gotta be wrong. I mean, we got folks like Lightning, Jo, Eva, and y'know, _me_."

"I dunno, if I went into that commando mode you were talking about I could maybe beat them." Zoey speculated.

"Yeah, but, ya ain't supposed to do that." Chef told her. "The whole reason I'm s'posed to be interviewing you is to make sure you won't go like that again. But if you really wanna prove it I can always arm wrestle you."

"No thanks, I wouldn't want to hurt you." Zoey said.

"C'mon, if anything, you gotta worry 'bout me hurtin' you." Chef insisted.

"Can I just leave now?" Zoey asked.

"Not just yet." Chef said. "Accordin' to the rules I gotta talk to ya for forty five minutes to an hour before I can let ya go."

"Oh, okay." Zoey replied, sounding a little disappointed.

"If it makes ya feel better we can go to the park." Chef suggested. "Would that be fun?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess it'd give me something else to look at." Zoey agreed.

"Great, let's get goin'." Chef replied.

A little while later, Zoey and Chef were walking next to each other through a scenic park. Neither of them had said anything in a little while.

"So, you have anything to ask?" Zoey asked.

"I'm thinkin'." Chef replied. "I keep leavin' my files at the office so I can't remember all the questions they told me to ask."

"Okay, let me know if you remember what you wanted to ask me." Zoey asked.

"Oh, I think I got somethin'." Chef remarked. "Why exactly did ya wanna come on the show. Usually, when people come on the show it's either to get famous or get rich. You didn't seem to be interested in either of those things."

"I just wanted friends. I never really got along with people back home." Zoey explained. "I'm sure I'm not the only person who went on the show for this reason."

"Really? Who else do ya think was on the show to make friends?" Chef asked.

"I think Cameron went on the show to get some life experience. That's pretty similar." Zoey answered.

"Okay, fine, maybe that ain't unusual." Chef admitted. "Did you make many friends?"

"Yeah, definitely." Zoey replied. "I even made new friends at home. I'm probably one of the only people who was _better off_ after being on your show."

"Uh huh, most of the time people end up kinda disgruntled." Chef remarked. "By the way, what'd you and Mike end up doing with your prize money from All-Stars?"

"Well, the first thing we did was split it up between the both of us." Zoey told him. "Uh… My family bought a nicer house. Still in the same town though. Oh, I've been buying a lot more records and CDs lately too."

"Do ya really think you could be stronger than me?" Chef asked.

"I dunno. Ever since that whole commando incident I've been feeling a lot tougher." Zoey admitted. "Not, y'know, bodybuilder strong. But I've started going to spin class a few times a week."

"So you don't think you could take me?" Chef asked.

"If you want me to fight you, I'm not gonna do it." Zoey said.

"I just wanna know what whoever wrote you file saw in you when they said you were one of the strongest." Chef explained.

"I don't see myself as the most physically strong person either if that's any consolation." Zoey replied.

"A little. But are ya sure you don't wanna arm wrestle?" Chef asked. "Think of it like a test."

"All right, sure, I'll try it out." Zoey accepted. "Just don't hurt me."

"Ah relax; I know how to hurt someone while arm wrestling. So I'll just do the opposite of that." Chef stated. "Now c'mon, let's go find a picnic table."

"Sure, okay." Zoey replied. "Let's do this, I guess."

A few minutes later, Zoey and Chef were sitting across from each other at a picnic table somewhere else in the park.

"So before we start I just have one question. Why's beating a teenager in arm wrestling match so important to you?" Zoey asked.

"I got a good sense of pride." Chef explained. "And I just wanna be confident that I'm able to defeat you."

Chef paused and thought about it for a second.

"When I say it out loud it sounds kinda silly." Chef admitted. "But I just don't wanna go the rest of my life knowin' someone thinks you're one of the strongest people on the show. No offence."

"None taken. I mean, I think I'm pretty athletic." Zoey said. "But definitely not one of the strongest. But… Well, I guess we'll see."

"So we're really gonna do this strength test?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, I guess so." Zoey remarked. "C'mon, let's go."

Chef nodded in response and put his arm on the picnic table.

"I'll go easy on ya." Chef said, half-joking.

"I think I'd actually like that." Zoey admitted. "This is kinda intimidating. Your hand is as big as my face."

"I'm sure you'll do fine." Chef told her.

"Okay. May the best man win." Zoey said. "Or I guess woman, in my case."

Zoey put her arm on the picnic table and grasped Chef's hand

"Go!" Chef announced.

Chef and Zoey struggled against each other to push their opponent's forearm down.

"Okay… This is a bit tougher than I thought." Chef admitted as he fought.

"Are you holding back?" Zoey asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I am." Chef confessed. "I wanna win but I don't wanna hurt ya… But so far ya seem to be puttin' up a good fight."

"I'm a little surprised myself." Zoey said.

The two of them were firmly locked in the middle of the table.

"I'm gonna try to overpower you now, all right?" Chef told her.

"Okay, go for it." Zoey said.

Slowly, Chef's arm started to push Zoey's down.

"Fine, I'll admit it, yer pretty strong." Chef remarked. "But ya ain't tougher than me. And ya sure ain't tougher than Eva. She's prob'ly the only person I know who could beat me in a fight."

"Yeah, I've seen her on the show." Zoey agreed. "She looks tough."

"I'm bettin' you could prob'ly take on Sky from last season." Chef estimated. "She's pretty small."

"Oh, uh, thank you." Zoey said, not entirely sure.

After a few more seconds, Chef was able to push Zoey's forearm down onto the picnic table.

"Woo! Did it!" Chef cheered.

Chef let go of Zoey's hand.

"That was surprisingly fun." Zoey admitted. "… Not sure I'd do it again though."

"Yeah, I get it." Chef replied. "Thanks for humourin' me."

"No problem. So, uh, can I go now?" Zoey asked.

"Yep, sure can." Chef said.

"Oh, one last thing." Zoey began. "I get to come back, right?"

"Of course ya do." Chef told her.

Chef reached across the picnic table and patted Zoey on the shoulder.

"Ya seem like a nice gal, and prob'ly one of the most normal people I've had to talk to while doing this." Chef continued. "I kinda hope you get to come back."

"Oh, um, thank you." Zoey replied. "Well, it's been nice talking to you."

"You too." Chef replied.

Chef reached over again and pinched Zoey's left cheek.

"I'm sorry, was that weird. My grandma used to do that all the time." Chef said.

"Uh, no it wasn't the weirdest thing that happened to me." Zoey replied. "Really though, it's been nice talking. See you later, I hope."

Zoey stood up and began to walk away from Chef.

"She's a nice girl." Chef told himself. "She didn't really need to be here."

Chef got up from the table and started walking in the opposite direction of Zoey. As he did this he took out his cell phone and dialed a number into it. After a short while, someone on the other side picked up.

"Hey, Chris it's me." Chef greeted.

"Oh hey, Chef. I heard about your thing with Zoey." Chris replied from the other line. "How'd it go?"

"Went pretty well. She seemed pretty stable and we arm wrestled." Chef told him.

"Wait? You did what?" Chris asked. "Why did you do that?"

"It's a long story." Chef replied.

"Well, go ahead I got time." Chris told him.

"Actually I came here to ask if ya knew who I'm talkin' with next." Chef explained.

"Well... Maybe I do." Chris admitted. "But only if you explain what led to you arm wrestling."

"Okay, fine." Chef said. "It all started back when I decided to read her file..."

* * *

 **And now we're done. It came out at the length I was expecting it to which doesn't happen when I'm writing very often. But anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it. As usual, this time next week is when I plan to have the next chapter out. The character featured in the next chapter is currently undecided but they will definitely be a TDI character. Which one? I'm not sure yet. So anyway, please be sure to leave a review if you want to share your thoughts. Thanks of reading.**


	15. Izzy

**And we're back. Sorry about the long update period. Like I said in the last chapter of my other story, I've had a busy week and wasn't able to do much writing. But hopefully that'll change and things will resume their normal schedule. Also, as some of you guessed, Izzy is the subject of this chapter. She was very fun to write. Anyway, that's about it for the author's note. Enjoy.**

* * *

One early morning in Ontario, Chef Hatchet was in the middle of driving towards his work when he felt the cellphone in his pocket start to ring.

"Ah dammit…" Chef muttered to himself.

Chef pulled over to the side of the road and quickly answered his phone.

"Yeah, whadda ya want?" Chef asked.

"Whoa, Chef, take it easy." Di Giovanni replied from the other line.

"Why are ya callin' me?" Chef asked.

"You got the email but who you're talking today, right?" Di Giovanni asked.

"Yeah, it's Izzy." Chef replied. "And lemme tell ya, I ain't lookin' forward to it."

"That's why I called actually." Di Giovanni said. "I know you and Izzy have some light rivalry going on but I just wanna make sure it won't affect your final decision."

"That girl has _several_ screws loose. She's gonna have to try _real hard_ if she wants to get back on the show." Chef stated.

"Listen, I know this chick is a few cards short of a full deck, but she's also great for ratings." Di Giovanni told him. "So I need you to not be biased. All right?"

"She ain't normal all right. I gotta take into account everything she's done before bein' on the show." Chef told him.

"All right, but I'm just saying. We'd really appreciate it if you went easy on her." Di Giovanni replied. "There may even be a reward."

"Are you tryin' to bribe me?" Chef asked.

"Uh, yeah, I thought that was obvious." Di Giovanni said.

"Look, don't tell me how to do my job." Chef told him.

"All right, all right, fine." Di Giovanni replied. "I'll leave you alone. Just try to consider what I've said."

"Uh huh, sure. Whatever." Chef said. "I'm hangin' up now."

"Whatever you say." Di Giovanni remarked. "Just be sure-"

Chef hung up on the producer.

"I don't gotta listen to him." Chef told himself.

About a half hour later, Chef was at the offices to the TV network he worked for. He approached a door marked "Chef's Interview Room".

"Huh, that's new." Chef remarked. "I think that's a good sign."

Chef pushed open the door and on the other side, he saw an empty room.

"Uh oh…" Chef trailed off. "She could just be late… But she's prob'ly tryin' to sneak attack me."

Chef cautiously took a few steps into the room. The door slowly closed behind him as he got closer to the table.

"Surprise!" A female voice yelled from behind him.

"Dammit…" Chef quietly murmured to himself, anticipating what was about to happen next.

Izzy landed on Chef's back and the both of them toppled to the ground.

"Did ya like my hiding spot?" Izzy asked. "Right behind the door. Nobody ever expects it."

"Get offa me…" Chef angrily told her.

"Whatever ya say." Izzy replied, giggling to herself.

Izzy stood up and walked over to the chair. She sat down and Chef slowly got up from the ground.

"That's already one point against ya." Chef told her. "I hope you realize that."

"Ooh, I have points? What's my score?" Izzy asked.

"It was a metaphor." Chef told her.

Chef retrieved the folder of files from under his chairs. He flipped through it briefly and pulled out Izzy's file.

"Okay Izzy, I got a list of all your aliases here for one thing. And it almost takes up a whole page." Chef remarked. "And it also says it wants me to look into your 'Generic Insanity'."

"Hey, I'm not generically insane. I'm _especially_ insane." Izzy replied, laughing again.

"Oh trust me Izz, I've noticed." Chef replied.

"So what are you gonna do now?" Izzy asked.

"I don't even know where to begin." Chef admitted. "Tell ya what, walk me through what a normal day with you is like."

"Oh, well, the first thing I do is wake up." Izzy began.

"Everyone does that." Chef told her.

"Usually I'm in my bed but sometimes I'm outside. Oh! Or on my roof." Izzy continued.

"Never mind, getting' weirder now." Chef remarked. "Keep goin'."

"Well, I used to go to school. I've actually been expelled from my school for a little while now so my mom homeschools me." Izzy explained. "Well, actually, she doesn't. She kind just lets me do whatever I want all day."

"Whatta ya mean by 'Whatever I want'?" Chef asked.

"I dunno, sometimes I chase dogs around at the park, sometimes I see how much ice cream I can eat without getting a brain freeze, and sometimes I try to outrun cars." Izzy listed. "It really depends on what mood I'm in."

Chef scribbled something down in Izzy's file.

"Ooh, what'cha writing?" Izzy asked.

"I'm writin' down how crazy you are." Chef said.

"Haha! Awesome." Izzy remarked.

"It ain't awesome. Trust me Izzy, when I'm done ya ain't gonna be able to come back." Chef told her.

"Aw, why not?" Izzy asked. "I think I'm fun. I met a sewer gator yesterday. Did ya know those things are real?"

"Look, Izzy, want'cha to be honest here. If ya came back on the show, do ya think you'd hurt anyone?" Chef asked.

"Well, not on purpose. Okay, maybe not on purpose _too much_." Izzy said, laughing again.

"Ya ain't helpin' your case." Chef stated. "I might just have to ban you."

"Ah, c'mon, you're just jealous." Izzy remarked.

"Definitely not jealous of _you_." Chef replied.

"C'mon Cheffy boy, what can old Izzy do to get you on her side." Izzy said.

"You can act less crazy for one." Chef told her.

"Pfft, that's not happening." Izzy replied. "I've always been like this."

"Where do ya live, Izzy?" Chef asked.

"Oh, not that far out." Izzy replied. "I actually took the subway here. It's really fun to hang from the bars. Makes me feel like a wild animal. Rawr!"

"Good, that works for me." Chef remarked. "Listen, I wanna go over to your place. This worked out for Shawn and I wanna see if it works for you. I'm gonna see what your life is like at home, and maybe that'll answer some questions."

"Ooh, fun. Izzy doesn't get many visitors." Izzy said.

"Yeah, sure. 'Fun'." Chef replied before lowering his voice slightly. "I ain't gonna enjoy this."

A little while later, Izzy and Chef were in the same car with the latter driving and the former in the back seat.

"So why didn't ya let me ride shotgun?" Izzy asked. "Haha! Bang! Bang!"

Izzy aimed an imaginary shotgun at Chef and pretended to fire it.

"I didn't want you to distract me." Chef explained. "Well, distract me _even more_."

"Izzy still thinks you're jealous." Izzy remarked.

"Why do ya do that third person thing sometimes?" Chef asked.

"Izzy does it whenever she feels like it." Izzy replied. "No reason in particular."

"There's gotta be _some_ reason." Chef insisted.

"Nope, no reason." Izzy repeated herself.

"Oh god... This was a mistake..." Chef mumbled to himself.

"Ooh! Here's my house!" Izzy cheered. "Stop the car!"

Chef slowed down the car and parked it on the curb.

"Which ones yours?" Chef asked, looking out to the houses.

"That one!" Izzy replied.

She pointed out the car window at a two-story house with an overgrown lawn and partially chipped paint job.

"Yep, that doesn't surprise me." Chef remarked. "All right Izz, we're gettin' out."

"Whee! Fun!" Izzy cheered.

Chef got out of the car with Izzy closely behind and approached the door of the house he'd been directed to. He knocked on the door and after a brief wait it opened up. On the other side of the door stood a middle aged woman with frizzy red hair wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

"Oh, Izzy, you're back." The woman, presumably Izzy's mother, replied, sounding a bit disappointed. "And who's this you brought with you?"

"Uh, I'm Chef, ma'am." Chef explained. "I'm her unofficial psychiatrist."

"Oh, right, from the show." The woman remembered. "Well, I'm her mother Loraine. Um, why exactly did you bring Izzy here? Was she banned from your work?"

"Nah, I'm tryin' out somethin' different." Chef explained. "I figure, if I can figure out what her home life is like, I can get a better handle on whetheer or not to bring her back."

"All right, just don't bother me." Loraine stated, she leaned in towards Chef and lowered her voice. "I try to spend as little time with my daughter as possible."

"I don't blame ya." Chef admitted.

"C'mon Chef! Let's check out the backyard!" Izzy announced. "It's got a playground."

"Ain't ya a little old for that?" Chef asked.

"Pfft, you expect Izzy to remember how old she is?" Izzy asked.

"Yeah, people usually keep track of stuff like that." Chef said.

"Izzy, you're nineteen." Loraine spoke up. "Now will the both of you _please_ leave me alone."

"You got it." Chef replied.

A little while later, Izzy and Chef had gone to the backyard of the house. Izzy hung upside down on the monkey bars and Chef watched her.

"So, uh, do you have many friends?" Chef asked.

"Uh huh, Izzy likes to talk to Noah and Eva." Izzy replied.

"Anybody else?" Chef continued asking.

"Hmm... Yeah, I think so." Izzy said. "I talk to a lot of people on the street, at the park, on the internet. But y'know, my parents, Noah, and Eva are the only people I talk to a lot."

"Listen, you like bein' on Total Drama, right?" Chef asked.

"Uh huh, sure do." Izzy told him.

"Than I need ya to be honest." Chef began. "Do you think you could be dangerous?"

"Nah, all Izzy wants to do is have fun." Izzy said.

"Really, 'cause I remember a whole lotta explosions when you were around." Chef remarked.

"Yeah, that was really cool, wasn't it?" Izzy replied.

"Izzy, I don't wanna offend you or nothin' but I just wanna know why you're like this?" Chef asked.

"Like what?" Izzy said.

"Y'know, all crazy." Chef explained.

"Oh, that. I dunno, Izzy's always like this." Izzy told him.

Chef let out a frustrated sigh.

"Izz, I'm gonna go get somethin' to drink." Chef stated. "I'm gonna leave you alone, but you'd better not do nothin' crazy."

"Mmhmm, whatever you say." Izzy replied.

Against his better judgement, Chef left Izzy in the backyard and entered her house. After wandering for a few moments, Chef found the kitchen. He opened up the house's fridge and rummaged around for a few moments.

"There's gotta be somethin' good to drink in here." Chef remarked.

At that moment, Loraine descended a nearby set of stairs and entered the kitchen.

"What're you doing?" Loraine asked.

"Ya got any iced tea?" Chef requested. "Talkin' to Izzy for this long has got me feelin' parched."

"She's wearing you down, huh." Loraine commented. "Don't worry, you'll get used to her. Me and my husband did after the first seven years... Well, mostly got used to her."

"That's nice, but do ya got any iced team?" Chef repeated the question.

"Oh yeah, there should be a bottle on that second shelf." Loraine told him.

Chef grabbed a half filled plastic bottle of lemon flavoured iced tea and closed the door behind him. He then started to look through the cabinets in an attempt to find a cup for his beverage.

"Hey, so you're Izzy's mom, right?" Chef remarked.

"Obviously." Loraine replied.

"I need ya to be honest here. Do you think Izzy's dangerous?" Chef asked her.

"Hmm... Well, she's had some... Uh, outbursts." Loraine admitted. "Yeah... I guess she's a little dangerous."

"So I shouldn't bring her back then." Chef said.

"No! Please take her back." Loraine pleaded. "I really think it's good for Izzy to get out more. She spends so much time at home. Izzy's a sweet girl sometimes but I think she's the reason I'm starting to get white streaks in my hair."

"Well, if you think she could hurt someone I don't think I'm gonna bring her back." Chef explained.

"Look, is there anything I can do to convince you to bring Izzy on your show?" Loraine asked.

"How 'bout you take her to a real psychiatrist." Chef suggested.

"I already do that." Loraine said. "I send her there once a week... Hmm... I could try sending her there more. Then would you let her on the show?"

"If you had an actual professional make sure she ain't dangerous, I might consider it." Chef stated. "But until that's proven, how 'bout I put her on the maybe list."

"Sure, do that." Loraine replied. "I promise to make sure Izzy is at least fifteen percent less crazy, all right."

"Yeah, you got it. I'll go tell Izzy about it." Chef said. "By the way, ya seem like a nice lady. Must be tough raising Izzy."

"No, it's sort of become... Normal for me, I guess." Loraine admitted. "Not _that_ normal though."

A few minutes later, Chef had returned to the backyard carrying a glass of ice tea with him. He approached a swingset Izzy was on.

"Oh hey there Chef!" Izzy cheered. "Wanna see if I can jump off here and karate kick you in the face?"

"No, not really." Chef replied.

"Aw... People can be so boring sometimes." Izzy remarked.

"Listen, I came out here to give you some information." Chef told her.

"Ooh, tell me!" Izzy exclaimed.

"You _might_ be let back on the show." Chef explained. "As long as you say your psychiatrist on a regular basis."

"Oh, that guy? He's funny." Izzy said. "All I have to do is talk to him more and you'll let me on?"

" _Might_ let you on." Chef repeated.

"Whee! I'm going to have so much fun when I'm back!" Izzy cheered.

" _If_ you're back." Chef reminded her.

"What are those sticks on chains Harold uses sometimes?" Izzy wondered out loud. "Izzy should buy those for the new season."

"Okay, well, I'm going home now." Chef told her, starting to nervously back away. "Uh, this tea is good by the way."

"All right, buh bye!" Izzy cheered. "Izzy will be sure to send you a thank you gift."

"Um, that isn't neccessary." Chef said as he continued to back up.

"Ooh, can you tell me your favuorite cake?" Izzy continued.

"All right, I'm leavin' now." Chef turned around and began to walk faster away from her.

Less than a minute later, Chef was back in his car and getting ready to start up the engine.

"Well, that's enough crazy for one day." Chef remarked. "I'm goin' home."

Before he could start his car up completely, he heard the faint ring of his smartphone.

"Dammit... Every damn time." Chef said. "All right, better answer it."

Chef took out the phone and answered.

"Yeah, who's there?" Chef asked.

"Chef, it's your producers. Johansson." Johansson identified herself. "I'm calling in to check on your interview with Izzy. How did it go?"

"To be honest, she's still a complete nutjob." Chef admitted. "But... I put her on the maybe list as long as she gets a real professional to evaluate her."

"That's a relief." Johansson said. "We were worried you wouldn't accept her."

"Yeah, I wasn't plannin' on it." Chef remarked.

"Well, it's a good thing you did." Johansson told him. "According to Sierra's blog, she's a fan favourite."

"You read Sierra's blog?" Chef asked.

"Yes, so do you." Johansson pointed out.

"Fine, fair point." Chef admitted.

"Why did you give her a chance to come back?" Johansson asked.

"Her mom asked really nicely." Chef explained.

"Well, I'm just glad there's a possibility of a fan favourite to come back." Johansson remarked. "Nice work. Oh, by the way, I have some good news."

"What's that?" Chef asked.

"We've finalized the list of our 'Eccentric Contestants'. That means no more surprises for you." Johansson explained. "I'll be sending it to you shortly."

"I actually appreciate that, thanks." Chef said. "Well, talk to you later."

"Yes, goodbye for now." Johansson replied.

Chef hung up and put his phone away.

"I feel like things are gonna get better from here." Chef told himself. "Things can't get much crazier than Izzy."

* * *

 **And that was the chapter. Like I said before, writing Izzy was very fun. She's such an off the wall character. Once again, I'll try to get things back on schedule. I'm not quite sure who I'll focus on next but I've already got a few vague ideas. Anyway, that's about it for this chapter. Hope you all enjoyed. Please be sure to leave a review if you want to tell me what you thought. Thanks for reading.**


	16. Amy

**And here's another installment of Strange People. As I said in my update for that other story I'm writing, I'm on vacation this week so that might slow down the next update. Luckily it didn't slow down this chapter at all. There's not much to say for this intro so I'll just quit stalling and let you all read.**

* * *

Chef walked down a stairwell at a downtown parking garage while chatting it up on the phone with one of his bosses.

"Hey, Johnson, I've been meanin' to ask you guys a couple of questions." Chef spoke into the phone.

"Hmm? And what would they be?" Johnson asked from the other line.

"Well, I got yer full list of people I'm gonna be talking to." Chef began. "And I noticed, we got a lotta people from Pahkitew Island on that list. What's up with that?"

"It's just a coincidence." Johnson explained. "That season had a very high concentration of… Crazy people."

"Okay, fair enough I guess." Chef said. "But I got another question. I got an email last week sayin' I gotta talk to Amy _and_ Samey today. Is that a good idea?"

"What do you mean?" Johnson asked.

"I'm worried they're both gonna fight the whole time." Chef explained.

"I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle." Johnson insisted.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be difficult." Chef argued.

"Look, they both had to come in from out of town. So just deal with it." Johnson told him. "Now I've gotta go now if you'll excuse me."

"Now hold up, don't hang up." Chef told him.

But his pleas were too late as Johnson hung up very abruptly.

"Ah, seriously?" Chef remarked to himself. "Well, guess I'll just have to do it myself."

Several minutes later, Chef was strolling down a hall towards the room where interviews were usually held.

"I shoulda done this one twin at a time, why didn't the producers do that?" Chef complained out loud. "Maybe it won't be that bad."

He stopped in front of the usual room and opened up the door. On the other side, Amy and Sammy were seated at the same side the table with the latter trying her best to smile and the former scowling at Chef.

"Uh, hello, Amy, Samey." Chef greeted them. "How're you?"

"I, um, I'm okay." Sammy replied. "But it's Sammy, not Samey."

"Oh my god, Samey, literally nobody cares. It's like, one letter difference anyway." Amy remarked.

"But my name is Sammy, all right!" Sammy angrily told her.

"Pfft, no need to yell, loser." Amy said.

"Don't call me a loser." Sammy insisted.

"Okay, girls, break it up." Chef told them as she sat down in front of them. "We're gonna have a little chat."

"Ugh, there's no way I'm doing this as long as Samey's here. She'll just ruin it." Amy remarked.

"Um, yeah, well, I hate you too Amy and I won't do this interview with you either." Sammy said.

"Are you two just gonna be arguin' the whole time?" Chef asked.

"If she was less annoying we wouldn't be arguing." Amy told him.

"If you weren't such a horrible person we wouldn't be arguing is what you meant to say." Sammy said.

"Y'know what, the producers told me to interview you together. But… I think my head's gonna explode if I do that." Chef remarked. "So I'll just do this one at a time."

"Oh my god, thank you." Amy said.

"Yeah, seriously, some time away from Amy sounds great." Sammy added.

"But which one of us are you going to interview first?" Amy asked.

"Um… Eenie... Meenie… Minie…" Chef trailed off as he looked back and forth between the twins. "Amy, I'll go with you first."

"Ha! He chose me! He likes me better!" Amy cheered. "In your face, Samey!"

"Never said I liked you better." Chef said.

"So, um, can I leave?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah, I'll interview you some other time." Chef explained.

"Awesome. I finally have some alone time!" Sammy celebrated. "Well, see you guys later."

"Fine, have fun, _loser_." Amy told her.

"Well, at least _I_ get to have fun while you have to sit around at a boring interview." Sammy replied. "Um, no offence Chef.

Sammy stood up from her chair and walked out of the room. Once Sammy was gone, Chef dug under his chair and pulled out the folder of contestant files. He pulled out the one at the front of the folder.

"Didn't have to search too much for that one." Chef remarked. "Guess that's 'cuase these are alphabetized."

"What's written on there?" Amy asked.

"It says it wants me to look at your 'Extreme hatred towards sibling'." Chef read off the paper.

"Okay, I only hate Samey because she deserves it." Amy stated.

"Uh huh, how 'bout we start your evaluation there." Chef told her. "Why exactly do you think she deserves it."

"Um, hello, isn't it obvious?" Amy asked.

"Not really. She seems like a nice enough gal." Chef replied.

"Ugh, that's what everyone says." Amy complained. "Why do they say that?"

"How long has this sibling rivalry been goin' on?" Chef asked.

"Since like, forever." Amy said. "I've always been better and she's always been inferior."

"Listen, we both know there's gotta be more to it than that, right?" Chef said. "So just tell me why you really don't like her."

"I don't think I need to state the obvious." Amy remarked.

"You really gonna keep this up the whole time?" Chef asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Amy replied.

"Okay, well, looks like I'm breakin' this part out early." Chef said.

"What's that mean?" Amy asked.

"I'm takin' you to the mall." Chef told her.

"Wait, really?" Amy replied. "I mean; I like the mall…. But why?"

"I feel like if yer in a familiar environment you'll talk to me more." Chef explained.

"All right fine, I'm always up for a little shopping." Amy said. "Let's go."

Both Chef and Amy stood up and began to exit the room.

About fifteen minutes later, Chef found himself strolling alongside Amy through the local mall trying to decide where to go.

"So, like, where are we going?" Amy asked.

"I dunno, I'm following you." Chef told her.

"Oh, in that case, let's go to a clothing store." Amy said.

Amy sped up and Chef began to follow her.

"Hey, I got some questions for you." Chef told her.

"And what would those be?" Amy asked.

"Well, I was wonderin' what your home life is like." Chef explained

"My parents are great." Amy replied. "I've always been their favourite."

"She told you that?" Chef asked.

"Well, no, not in person. But I've always gotten that feeling." Amy said.

"But no actual evidence." Chef pointed out.

"C'mon, why wouldn't love me?" Amy remarked. "I'm pretty and I speak my mind."

"How 'bout school. Is that goin' well for you?" Chef asked.

"I'm on the cheer squad. And that's like, pretty cool. I get to show off my awesome athletic skills." Amy bragged. "Ugh, unfortunately, I have to share the limelight with _Samey_."

"Can we please get back to talkin' about why you hate her?" Chef asked.

"Oh hey, there's a clothing store!" Amy realized, pointing ahead.

"Or not…" Chef murmured.

Amy led Chef into a storefront full of women's clothing.

"So what're you lookin' for?" Chef asked.

"I dunno." Amy admitted. "I just thought we'd look around for a bit."

"Ah jeez, for how long?" Chef said.

"Until I get bored and want to leave." Amy replied.

"I'm gonna be here a while…" Chef mumbled to himself.

Chef was led further into the store and between several racks of clothing.

"Hmmm…. So many choices." Amy's eyes scanned the racks. "Chef, pick something you think will look good on me."

"Yeah, no way I'm doin' that." Chef stated.

"If you choose something for me, I'll be more cooperative." Amy told him.

"Really?" Chef asked.

"Uh huh, really." Amy confirmed. "Now go ahead and choose something."

Chef looked at the rack and sighed. He pulled an item off it at random which happened to be a red and black flannel button-up shirt.

"Ick, no way I'm wearing that." Amy told him. "I don't want people thinking I'm a lesbian. Or worse, a _lumberjack_."

"Why would people think you're a lumberjack?" Chef asked.

"Look, flannel is just unflattering, okay." Amy said.

"Okay, fine, whatever." Chef grumbled as he put the shirt back on the rack. "Can I just ask some questions now."

"Ugh, sure. But you need to pick me out something different now." Amy told him. "Anyway, ask whatever."

"For real, why do you hate your sister?" Chef asked.

"If you really want to know, I hate her because everyone likes her." Amy said. "Nobody on the cheer team every talks to me outside of practice. But for some reason, they like Samey."

"Really? Nobody?" Chef doubtfully asked. "There's gotta be someone. I saw Mean Girls once, I know how High School works these days."

"Okay, fine, I have some friends." Amy admitted. "We like to bring down our enemies. For me, it's mostly Samey, but there are some stupid kids at our school we all hate."

"So _those_ are your friends?" Chef asked.

"Meh… Friends is a bit much. They're really annoying sometimes." Amy said. "I don't know how they even stand _themselves._ "

"Must be like lookin' into a mirror." Chef sarcastically remarked.

"Ugh, I don't have to take this from you." Amy grumbled. "Although… I need to remember that insult for Samey."

"I think you have a real problem." Chef told her.

"It's her fault for being so… Likeable." Amy said. "How come _I_ don't get to hang out with any cool Australian survivalist girls?"

"You talkin' 'bout Jasmine?" Chef asked.

"Oh, is that her name?" Amy replied. "I usually just call her 'The Giant'. It annoys Samey."

"Are you sayin' you're jealous of Jasmine?" Chef said.

"I wouldn't say jealous. _I_ don't get _jealous_." Amy told him. "I just feel like I'm entitled to any friends that Samey gets to video chat with on the weekends."

"That just sounds like a different way of saying jealous." Chef remarked.

"You know what, I don't have to listen to you." Amy said.

Amy grabbed a lavender coloured t-shirt off one of the racks.

"Okay, I'm buying this and then we're leaving." Amy told him.

"That's fine, I think I made my final decision." Chef replied.

Amy looked Chef in the eyes and got closer.

"Really? And what would that be?" Amy growled through gritted teeth.

"You get to come back." Chef said.

"Wait, what?" Amy said, her demeanor suddenly losing any anger. "Seriously?"

"But I don't think it's safe if you and your sister share screen time." Chef added.

"You know what, I'm totally fine with that." Amy admitted. "The less I have to see of that freak, the better."

"Uh, glad we could agree I geuss." Chef said.

"I'm going to leave now." Amy told him. "Oh by the way, please never give anyone fashion advice."

Amy walked away from Chef towards the cash registers.

"Jeez, that girl's got issues." Chef remarked.

Chef began to make his way to the exit of the clothing store. Once he was out completely, he took out his phone and dialed a number into it. After a few seconds of waiting, someone picked up on the other side.

"Hey, what's up buddy?" The voice of Di Giovanni asked from the other side.

"Just finished talking to Amy." Chef explained.

"Just Amy? I thought you were supposed to talk to both twins." Di Giovanni pointed out.

"They wouldn't stop arguin' so I just interviewed one of 'em." Chef told him.

"Well, fair enough. And what was the assessment on Amy?" Di Giovanni asked.

"Technically, she ain't dangerous. But seriously, don't put her and Samey on the same team. Hell, maybe don't even put 'em in the same season." Chef recommended.

"Aw, but that's just what makes those two so entertaining." Di Giovanni said.

"Hey, who's the psychiatrist here?" Chef asked.

"Well, neither of us." Di Giovanni pointed out.

"Look, just listen to my evaluation." Chef told him.

"Okay, okay, fair enough." Di Giovanni said. "Oh, by the way, you're going to have to talk to Samey now?"

"What, ya mean like today?" Chef asked.

"Naturally." Di Giovanni replied. "Anyway, have fun with that."

Di Giovanni hung up on the other end and Chef pocketed the cellphone.

"How'm I gonna get in touch with Samey? I need her to come back somehow." Chef wondered out loud.

* * *

 **And the chapter is over. As should be obvious, Sammy will be the character that's focused on in the next chapter. So you all have that to look forward to next week. As usual, I hope you liked this latest installment of Strange People. Sure hope I'm able to get it out on time. Anyway, that's about all I've gotta say. Thanks for reading.**


	17. Sammy

**Looks like I was able to update this one early. Additionally, I'm back from my vacation so that means possibly things will be moving even faster. Who knows. Anyway, here's Sammy's chapter now. Hope you all like this one. I certainly liked writing it. Well, not much else to say here so you can just get to the part where you read.**

* * *

Chef sat in his car in the parking lot outside of a mall. His cell phone was pressed up against his ear as he waited for someone to pick up on the other end. And eventually, someone did.

"Uh, hello?" The voice of Sammy was heard from the other end.

"Hey, Samey, it's Chef here. I finished talkin' with your sister." Chef explained. "Mind comin' back to the office so we can talk."

"My name is Sammy." Sammy corrected.

"Well, I still need ya to come back to the office." Chef told her.

"Aw, but I'm having such a good time on my own." Sammy remarked.

"Hey, I don't like this either. Usually, I'd be goin' home by now." Chef said. "Just come back so we can get this interview over with."

"Oh, all right, see you there I guess." Chef said.

"Yeah, bye." Sammy remarked. "And remember, my name is _Sammy_."

"Right, right, whatever." Chef replied.

"No, don't you 'Whatever' me. I need to make sure you get it right, okay." Sammy told him. "That's very important to me, all right."

"Okay, okay, fine, sorry." Chef said, sounding more annoyed than anything else. "Just get on back to the network HQ."

"Yeah, sure, I'll do that." Sammy said.

Sammy hung up on the other side and Chef put away his phone.

"I still can't believe I gotta do two of these in one day." Chef remarked to himself as he turned the car keys in the ignition.

About half an hour later Chef was back at the network offices and had was walking down the hallway towards the room he held interviews in.

"She's gotta be less annoying than her sister." Chef told himself. "There's no way anybody else can be that bad."

Chef stopped in front of the usual door and pushed it opened. On the other side of the door was Sammy who was looking up at the room's ceiling with a bored expression on her face. When she didn't seem to notice Chef, he pretended to clear his throat to get her attention.

"Hey, Same- Uh, I mean Sammy." Chef greeted her. "Sorry if I kept ya waiting."

"No, it's fine." Sammy replied, sounding slightly mopey. "Let's just get through this quickly, okay?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." Chef said.

Chef sat down in front of Sammy and took the folder containing the contestant's files out from under his chair.

"You okay?" Chef asked Sammy as he dug around in the folder. "Ya look a little sad."

"I was just really enjoying my time not thinking about Amy." Sammy explained. "And now that I'm doing an interview with you, I just know you're gonna ask me about her."

"Yep, she is your sister." Chef said as he grabbed Sammy's folder from the file. "Now, Sammy, it's got you listed here as Samey. What's up with that?"

"Everyone calls me that. Even though I keep telling them not too." Sammy said.

"Even your parents?" Chef asked.

"No, I guess not. But my teachers at school do." Sammy said. "I really hate it."

Chef scribbled out the "E" in the folder and quickly drew an "M" over it.

"There ya go. That make you feel better?" Chef asked.

"I guess so." Sammy replied. "I'm curious though, why am I even here? I feel like I'm a pretty non-dangerous person."

"Says here you poisoned your sister… Huh, I don't remember that happenin'." Chef said.

"Okay, that was one time and she also totally deserved it." Sammy told him. "Plus she got better."

"Look, ya seem like a pretty normal girl, all right. But to make it look like I did actual work, I need you to say stuff that I can write down." Chef explained.

"I don't really feel like talking." Sammy admitted. "I just feel kinda… Blah, right now."

"Just try, all right." Chef told her, sounding slightly annoyed. "What's it like at school?"

"I already talk you that I don't wanna talk about it." Sammy said.

"Okay, fine, let's start with something positive." Chef replied. "Amy mentioned you're still in touch with Jasmine. How's that workin' out for ya?"

"Oh, yeah, Jasmine. I love talking to her." Sammy remarked, perking up a little. "I just video chat with her, y'know, since she lives in Australia. But really, I love spending time with her. It's probably the best part of the week."

"Uh huh, and what about your school?" Chef repeated his earlier question.

"I still don't wanna answer that question." Sammy told him.

"Okay, well… How do you feel about going to the mall?" Chef suggested.

"Oh, sure, that might be okay." Sammy agreed.

"Just do me a favour and don't go clothes shopping." Chef requested.

"Can we go to the food court?" Sammy asked. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Yeah, sure, that works." Chef said. "C'mon lets go."

A little while later, Sammy and Chef were walking through a mall together.

"I still don't see why I have to do this." Sammy said. "I think I'm perfectly fine to come back."

"So do I, but the producers want me to be thorough here. Really, it's just the poison apple thing. If it wasn't for that, we wouldn't be here." Chef explained.

"I guess that makes me feel better." Sammy admitted. "By the way, did you let Amy back on the show?"

"Yep." Chef replied.

"Ugh, really?" Sammy asked, sounding more disappointed than upset.

"She may be a jackass but on the slidin' scale of crazy people I've had to deal with, she rates pretty low." Chef explained. "But I told the producers to make sure you aren't ever in the same season again. Or at the very least the same team."

"Well, I appreciate that." Sammy said.

The two of them arrived in a food court and stopped for a moment to look around.

"So where do you wanna go for a snack?" Chef asked.

"Uh, I dunno." Sammy replied. "Maybe pizza?"

"Yeah, that works." Chef said.

The two of them went over to a line of people that led to a shop called "Petey's Pizza".

"So, while we're waitin' to get to the front of the line can ya answer some questions for me?" Chef asked.

"Please don't ask about school again." Sammy requested.

"Well, we'll have to get there at some point." Chef remarked. "How 'bout you tell me what your parents I like."

"Oh yeah, they're great. I sometimes feel like they're the only people who care about me." Sammy remarked. "They're always the first ones to tell Amy to take it easy on me."

"How do you feel about the rest of your cheer team?" Chef asked.

"Uh… Neutral. I never really talk to any of them and they all can't get my name right." Sammy replied.

"Huh, from what your sister said it made it sound like you were one of the popular ones on the team." Chef remarked.

"Nope, I barely talk to those girls outside of practice." Sammy said. "I think Amy's either a liar or delusional. Maybe a bit of both."

"Yep, that ain't surprising." Chef remarked. "So does this mean ya don't have any friends at school?"

"No, I have a few." Sammy admitted.

"Mind tellin' my about them?" Chef said.

"Hold on, we're at the front now." Sammy said.

Chef looked away from Sammy and saw that they were indeed at the front of the line.

"Hi, can I getcha anything?" The man behind the counter of Petey's Pizza asked.

"Uh… I'll have a pepperoni slice." Chef told him. "And I don't know what she'll be havin'."

"I'll have a slice of the veggie pizza." Sammy decided.

A little bit later, Sammy and Chef were sitting down at a table in the food court with a slice of pizza in front of each of them.

"How's your pizza?" Chef asked.

"Uh, it's all right." Sammy said as she chewed her meal. "I've had better though."

"So can you answer some questions now?" Chef requested.

"Yeah, fine." Sammy said.

"So about your other friends at school." Chef tried to initiate conversation.

"Oh, right, we were talking about that." Sammy remarked. "I do have some other friends. They aren't exactly popular but they're nice to me. Plus, they're able to get my name right at least a quarter of the time. Amy and her friends like to pick on me and my friends though."

"Sheesh, that don't sound fun." Chef said.

"You don't know the half of it." Sammy told him.

"Have things gotten any better since the show?" Chef asked.

"Uh, well, the team's been shunning Amy a little more… But most of them didn't pay much attention to her to begin with." Sammy admitted. "And my friends at school think it's cool I stood up to Amy, even if it was for just a little bit… The cheer team though, they just seem indifferent to everything. Don't know what their deal is."

"I used to be into sports when I was in high school." Chef remarked.

"Football?" Sammy guessed.

"Nah, baseball actually." Chef replied. "Baseball doesn't really have cheerleaders so I can't really relate."

"Oh, all right." Sammy remarked. "Are we done talking yet? I don't wanna be rude but I feel like I'm running out of stuff to say."

"One last thing, you ever thought about meetin' up with Jasmine in person?" Chef asked. "I ain't one to give out advice to people I barely know, but from what I remember from th e show, you two hit it off pretty well."

"Hmm... I've thought about it, but I don't really know how much it'd cost to go from Canada to Australia." Sammy replied. "I could ask my parents about it though... Yeah, thanks for the idea."

"Well, good talkin' to you. That 'bout does it here." Chef told her. "Also, I'm prob'ly gonna have to add to Amy's file a little after some of what you told me."

"Does this mean she won't be coming back?" Sammy asked.

"No, technically, she still ain't dangerous enough for me to keep off." Chef said. "But you get to come back if that makes ya feel better."

"Yeah, it does." Sammy nodded. "Well, I'll be off now. And I'll take my pizza with me."

"Okay, I think I'll be stayin' here a little bit." Chef remarked.

Sammy stood up from the table and picked up her slice of pizza.

"It was nice talking to you too, by the way." Sammy said. "Anyway, see you later. Oh, and thanks for making sure me and Amy are kept separate"

"No problem, Sammy. See ya later." Chef said.

Sammy walked away from Chef. Once he was alone he went to take another bite of pizza but was interrupted when his phone began to ring.

"Every single time..." Chef grumbled. "It's like they got spies watchin' me or somethin'."

Chef dug into his pocket and answered the phone.

"Ah, Chef, so glad I could reach you." The voice of Johansson greeted from the other side. "I heard from the others that you finished your interview with Amy. But I just called to check in on Sammy."

"Yeah, she's comin' back." Chef told her. "Didn't see much of a reason to let her in. But be sure to keep her and Amy on different teams. Or maybe even on different seasons just to be safe."

"Chef, I don't think you understand. The two of them fighting, that's what the audience loves." Johansson replied.

"Listen, Johansson, you told me I could make decisions for this, and that's what I'm doing." Chef said.

"All right, fine, but just know the producers don't approve of it." Johansson told him.

"Whatever, I'm just glad to know I did the right thing." Chef remarked.

"Well, good for you I suppose." Johansson said. "Anyway, we'll be sending you info on your next interviewee soon. Have a nice day."

Johansson hung up on the other end. Chef bit into his pizza once he didn't have to talk to the producer anymore.

"Huh, today wasn't so bad." Chef remarked as he chewed. "Sammy was a nice gal... Really hope I get more normal people like her to talk to."

* * *

 **And we're done with this chapter. Once again, I hope you all liked it. I feel like it isn't as funny as some of the previous chapters but hopefully it's still good. I'm not quite sure who the subject of the next chapter will be but I'm thinking it'll be one of the characters from the original TDI. Not sure which one yet, but I have some ideas. Anyway, that about does it for this chapter. Thanks for reading and I'll try to update soon.**


	18. Lindsay

**Looks like I was able to get this up on Monday like I planned. Albeit, a lot later than usual. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter. Fun fact, Lindsay wasn't originally planned to be part of this series but it was suggested to me by one of my readers. So I hope it turned out okay in the end. Anyway, that's all I've gotta say about this. We can get to the actual chapter now.**

* * *

One early morning in the offices of a certain Canadian TV network, Chef paced up and down one of the hallways while on the phone with somebody.

"Oh hey Chef, how's it hangin'?" The voice of Chris greeted from the other side.

"I ain't in the mood to talk." Chef stated. "I've been tryin' to get in touch with the other producers 'cause I have some questions. But none of 'em have picked up so far."

"All right, I understand. But we can hang out later sometime, right?" Chris said.

"Sure, whatever." Chef said.

"So what're your questions?" Chris asked.

"Well, accordin' to the email I got I'm 'sposed to be talkin' to Lindsay." Chef began. "And I wanted to know if there wasn't some mistake. Is it really Lindsay?"

"Yep." Chris replied. "That's kind of a weird question to ask."

"We're talkin' bout the same person. The kinda stupid blonde who dates the guy who only wears tracksuits?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, that's Lindsay." Chef said. "Are you okay?"

"Why do I have to talk to her? She seems harmless." Chef stated.

"Well, it's all there in the file." Chris told him.

"I figured, but I kinda wanna know now." Chef said.

"All right, fine. I don't know how to say this without sounding like a bad person. But… We think Lindsay is so stupid she might be an unintentional danger to herself and other people." Chris explained.

"Yeah, that does sound bad when ya put it like that." Chef remarked.

" _But_ , you're here to prove that wrong." Chris continued. "At least I hope so. 'Cause Lindsay is a pretty popular contestant and we want her back."

"Right, I guess I should get in there now." Chef said.

"Yep, good luck." Chris told him. "Bye now."

"Hold I got one last question." Chef spoke up.

Upon saying this, Chef realized he was too late and Chris had hung up.

"Hmmm… Another time I guess." Chef remarked. "Well, gotta go talk to Lindsay now."

Chef walked further down the hallway until he came across the usual room that the interviews took place in.

"Okay, it's showtime." Chef said as he pushed open the door.

On the other side of the door, Chef saw Lindsay sitting at the table and absentmindedly looking off at the ceiling, not paying Chef much attention. Chef sat down in front of her causing Lindsay to take notice.

"Oh, hey there Chas!" Lindsay cheered. "It's like, so good to see you."

"My name isn't Chas, it's Chef." Chef reminded her.

"Oh, right, that." Lindsay said. "So… Uh, what're we doing today? They told me but... It's all kinda fuzzy in my brain."

"I'm just gonna be askin' you a few questions to make sure that you aren't gonna accidentally hurt anyone if you go back on the show." Chef explained. "Did ya get all that?"

"Uh… Yeah, I think so." Lindsay replied. "Um, so, go ahead with whatever you were gonna do."

"All right, just one second." Chef said as he grabbed the folder out from under his chair and pulled out Lindsay's file. "Now, let's start with this: What's an average day like for you?"

"Hmmm… I dunno." Lindsay admitted. "I like, graduated high school, I don't have a job, and I'm not in college… So I kinda do different stuff every day."

"Gimme some examples." Chef requested.

"Uh… Well, I like to go shopping a lot." Lindsay began. "Uh, I invite Beth and Tyler over sometimes. Oh, and I also have a whole bunch of friends who I knew before the show started that I hang out with."

"So you mostly have fun?" Chef guessed.

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Lindsay said. "I've been trying to find a job though… Nothing yet, but I'm sure something's out there."

"Well, good for you, stayin' optimistic." Chef told her.

"Aw, thanks." Lindsay said. "Hey, uh, what're we supposed to be doing again?"

"I'm askin' you questions." Chef reminded her. "Speakin' of which, I got another one. How would you personally evaluate your intelligence?"

"Uh… Could you say that again?" Lindsay requested

"How smart do you think you are?" Chef rephrased himself.

"Oh, okay, now the question makes sense." Lindsay said. "And, uh, I dunno… I think I'm pretty smart. I'm _definitely_ pretty so you'd think those things would go together. So yeah, I think I'm smart."

"Okay, I got another one." Chef told her as he scribbled in Lindsay's file. "Now, I know this is gonna sound insulting, but just to be safe it says in here the producers wanna make sure that you can read and write."

"Pfft, totally, I can do that." Lindsay confidently replied. "Why would you think I couldn't?"

"You forgot the difference between pushing and pulling back in All-Stars." Chef reminded her.

"Hey, those are like super similar words, okay." Lindsay told her. "Everyone makes that mistake at some point, right?"

"Uh... No, can't say that I have." Chef said.

"Well, it was like, only one time." Lindsay went on. "Anyway, the point is I can totally read and write."

"You ain't insulted that I asked that, are you?" Chef asked.

"No, I'm a very nice girl." Lindsay stated. "Not Admiral Lindsay though, she's kinda tough. I haven't seen Admiral Lindsay in a while actually."

"Uh huh, right." Chef said. "So Lindsay, you said you were lookin' for a job. Whatta you think you'd be good at?"

"Hmmm... Well, I'm super pretty and I feel like I'm nice to people." Lindsay replied. "What would those skills get me?"

"I dunno, either a model or a clerk at a high-end clothing store are my best guesses." Chef told her.

"Ooh, both of those sound super fun. Especially the first one." Lindsay remarked. "How do you become a model though?"

"I'm not sure." Chef admitted. "Never been into fashion personally so I wouldn't know."

"Well, if you want me to ever give you fashion tips I know like, everything." Lindsay said.

"Nope, no thank you." Chef declined. "Like I said. I ain't into that sorta thing."

"Oh, all right." Lindsay said. "So, like, have any questions?"

"I dunno, for some reason I'm havin' trouble gettin' a read on you." Chef admitted. "Wanna go out somewhere?"

"Ooh, how 'bout the mall!" Lindsay enthusiastically suggested.

"Hmm... Nah, I already did that last time." Chef declined.

"Well, how about a nice restaurant?" Lindsay offered. "I could go for some brunch."

"Sure, I guess I'm kinda hungry too." Chef agreed. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Hmmm... What's that country that's shaped like a boot?" Lindsay asked. "Wherever it is, I like the food from there."

"You talkin' 'bout Italy?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, that place." Lindsay said. "I like their food."

"Okay, sure, I'll try to find an Italian restaurant." Chef told her. "C'mon, let's get goin'."

A little while later, Lindsay and Chef were walking down the street together.

"So, uh, wanna talk 'bout anything?" Chef asked. "We've both been kinda quiet. I figured it'd give us something interesting to do."

"Well, I know you don't like fashion now, but do you like TV shows?" Lindsay replied.

"Depends on which ones." Chef told her. "What's your favourite?"

"Hmm... You know the one with the lady who owns a bakery?" Lindsay asked. "It's super funny and cute."

"Nah, that ain't really my thing." Chef replied. "I like shows where tough guys do cool things."

"Oh... I don't watch many shows like that." Lindsay admitted.

"What shows would we both watch?" Chef wondered.

"Oh! Total Drama, obviously." Lindsay said. "It's like, super cool to see yourself on TV."

"I guess so. I ain't ever really thought about it before." Chef admitted.

"Well, I think it's like, totally awesome." Lindsay remarked. "'Cause like, you're here in real life but you're also there on the screen. Isn't that crazy?"

"You do know how TV's work, right?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, I think I kinda do." Lindsay said. "I mean, not exactly. Whenever people try to explain how tech works I get kinda confused."

Before the conversation continued they stopped in front of a chain style restaurant called "Mama Morelli's Family Kitchen".

"This place doesn't look very fancy." Lindsay remarked.

"I never said we were goin' somewhere fancy." Chef pointed out.

"Oh, all right. Guess I'll try something new." Lindsay said.

About ten minutes later, Lindsay and Chef were sat down at a table inside the restaurant and were enjoying a basket of garlic bread together.

"So like, are you gonna ask me more stuff now?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh, right I do." Chef remembered. "So Lindsay, how do you feel other people perceive you?"

"What?" Lindsay replied.

"What do you think other people think of you?" Chef rephrased himself. "Specifically, do you think they think you're smart?"

"Okay, now I understand." Lindsay said. "And, uh, I dunno. I never really thought about smarts much. There are more important things. Like fashion sense for example."

"Got another question." Chef said as he grabbed a piece of garlic bread. "You're prob'ly gonna be a little insulted by this one too but... Do you think you hurt people by accident regularly."

"Uh... I don't think so." Lindsay replied. "That's not like, something I think about on the regular."

"Y'know what, I just thought of something. Hey listen, Lindsay, I'm gonna get up for a second. I'll be back soon though, so don't go anywhere." Chef told her.

"Oh, okay." Lindsay replied.

Chef stood up from the chair and walked over to the men's room at the restaurant. Once he was inside he took out his phone and dialed someone's number into it. After waiting a bit, someone picked up on the other end.

"Hey again Chef. What'cha doing calling me again?" Chris asked from the other line.

"I got some more questions 'bout Lindsay." Chef said. "It's important."

"Why do you think I'd know more about Lindsay than you?" Chris replied.

"You've spent more time with these contestants, man." Chef pointed out.

"All right, true. Ask away." Chris said.

"I ain't really sure how to put this." Chef started off. "But do ya know why Lindsay acts... The way she does."

"I don't think I understand." Chris replied.

"Is there a reason for why she ain't that smart?" Chef asked. "Childhood brain trauma, parents bribed teachers for good grades, stuff like that."

"Do you really expect me to know that kind of thing?" Chris said. "I don't really care about any of these people. Just go out there and talk to Lindsay youself."

"Listen, obviously, she ain't the brightest bulb but I don't think she's that dangerous either." Chef told his boss. "But I ain't too sure I'm right about that either."

"I have an idea, just ask Lindsay some questions about basic safety." Chris suggested. "Y'know, emergency procedure. That should let you know if she's liable to hurt herself."

"Huh, that ain't a half bad idea." Chef said. "All right, thanks Chris. See ya later."

"No problem." Chris replied.

Chef hung up the phone.

"Okay, goin' back out now." Chef told himself. "Here I go."

Chef exited the washroom and walked back over to the chair where Lindsay was eating another piece of garlic bread.

"Oh hey, Chuck." Lindsay greeted him.

"It's _Chef_." Chef corrected her as he sat down. "Anyway, Lindsay, I wanna know what you know about fire safety."

"Oh, you use wet stuff like water to put it out." Lindsay replied. "Oh, but not for a greasy fire. Oh, oh, and also, you can use those red cylinders full of the white stuff to put out fires too. Oh! And stop, drop, and roll. I remember that too."

Lindsay paused for a second and looked up and Chef.

"Do I win anything for saying this?" Lindsay asked.

"No, ya don't. I was just checkin' something." Chef told her. "So you know a lot about basic safety."

"Well, yeah, who doesn't?" Lindsay remarked. "Oh, I guess babies don't. They're not good at remembering stuff. I know because I don't remember anything about being a baby."

"Hey, listen, Lindsay, I think I'm done talkin' to you." Chef told her. "Listen, I still ain't really sure why the producers wanted me to talk to you but I just want you to know, you seem like a nice girl and you're allowed to come back on the show."

"Oh, well, that's nice of you to say." Lindsay remarked. "Thank you. So, like, are you gonna leave now?"

"Yep, that was my plan." Chef told her. "You cool with that."

"Yeah, totally. I like the atmosphere in here anyways." Lindsay replied.

"Great, see ya later then." Chef said. "Thanks for talkin'. Seriously, yer a nice gal and I ain't too sure why the producers brought you here."

"Aw, thanks that's nice to hear." Lindsay remarked. "Well, bye Chef. No, wait, what's your name?"

"Actually you got it right." Chef told her. "Nice work there. Anyway, I'll be seein' you later."

Chef grabbed a piece of garlic bread from the basket and stood up. He exited the restaurant and began walking down the street. Once he was out he took out his phone and dialed a different number into it. After waiting for a bit, someone responded.

"Oh hey Chef, how'd your thing with Lindsay go?" The voice of Di Giovanni asked from the other end.

"Yeah, just fine. She seems like a normal person." Chef said. "She can for sure come back."

"Great, that's wonderful news." Di Giovanni remarked.

"But I've got a quick question for ya." Chef told him. "Why do ya keep sendin' me normal people? Zoey, Sammy, Lindsay, I don't really gotta talk to any of these people. All of 'em are pretty normal. It's nice to talk to 'em but I ain't exactly sure how to do my job. Just stick with the weirdos from now on, okay?"

"Oh, you want weirdos? Trust me, buckeroo, I'll give you weirdos." Di Giovanni said, sounding oddly threatening.

"Did you just call me 'Buckeroo'?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, that sounded a bit weird now that I hear it out loud." Di Giovanni admitted. "Anyway, the point the is I'm going to find the weirdest person possible for you to interview. Just to spite you."

"Gee, thanks boss." Chef sarcastically said.

"No problem, hope you have fun with whoever we pick out." Di Giovanni remarked. "See ya later, slick."

Di Giovanni hung up on the other end and Chef continued walking down the street.

"Man, she was _for sure_ the last normal person I'm gonna talk to." Chef said to himself.

* * *

 **And that was the chapter. Hope you guys liked it. Like I said, I didn't originally plan on having Lindsay involved in this story but here she is anyway. Sure hope it turned out well. Not sure who I'll write about next but I've already got some ideas I'm considering. Anyway, that's all I've gotta say about this chapter. Leave a review if you feel like it and I'll see you next time. Thanks for reading.**


	19. Duncan

**Okay, this was up a bit later than expected. But only by a day so that's not too bad. I don't actually have too much to say in this opening note other than this chapter is late. So I won't stretch this out for any longer and go right ahead and get on with the story.**

* * *

As was usual for him these days, Chef was engaged in conversation over the phone while pacing around in the parking garage.

"Hey there, buddy." The voice of Di Giovanni greeted over the phone.

"Whatta you want?" Chef asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Listen, Chef, I just wanted to apologize about how I acted last time I called you." Di Giovanni remarked.

"Oh, yeah, you told me you were gonna send me someone weird." Chef remembered. "What happened to that by the way? I got an email sayin' I gotta talk to Duncan. I don't really like him, but he ain't that weird."

"Yeah, the weird guy I wanted to send you had a scheduling conflict." Di Giovanni explained. "But don't worry, I have them coming up next."

"Will you at least tell me _who_ this mystery person is?" Chef requested.

"Nope, I _love_ surprises." Di Giovanni stated. "You'll just have to find out for youself."

"Oh, great…" Chef sarcastically remarked. "But I've got Duncan today though, right?"

"Yep, you got him today." Di Giovanni stated. "Good luck with that."

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Chef said, more to himself than to Di Giovanni.

"Oh, sure, tell yourself what you want." Di Giovanni replied. "Anyway, have a nice day now."

Di Giovanni hung up on the other end.

"He's just messin' with me." Chef said. "Everything's gonna go fine with Duncan and then I can go home."

A little while later, Chef was walking down the hallway he usually went to when conducting his interviews.

"All right, this ain't gonna be so bad." Chef told himself. "Duncan may be a criminal but at least he ain't Izzy. Yeah, this'll all go great… Or at least just okay."

Once he got to the right door he opened it up to reveal Duncan carving a skull onto the wooden table with a knife on the other side.

"Hey! You stop that right there!" Chef ordered him.

"Ah c'mon, at least let me finish first." Duncan said, still making the carving.

"No, you ain't doin' that to someone else's property." Chef told him. "Gimme the knife."

Chef approached Duncan with one of his arms outstretched.

"Hey, it's _my_ knife and I'm gonna keep it." Duncan replied.

"Jeez, this ain't gonna be easy…" Chef whispered to himself.

Chef sat down at in front of Duncan and took the folder out from under the table. He dug through it until he found Duncan's file.

"Okay Duncan, it says here that I'm s'posed to be lookin' into your 'Arson'." Chef said.

"Is this because I blew up Chris' stupid mansion?" Duncan asked.

"It was a _cottage_." Chef insisted.

"Y'know what, I don't wanna have this conversation." Duncan said.

"But anyway, yes, the reason we're talkin' to you is that you blew up Chris' _cottage_." Chef told him. "And also that time you blew up a mountain in season four or something."

"Oh yeah, I did that too." Duncan remembered. "Heh, good times."

"I'm gonna talk to you and make sure ya don't do that again." Chef explained.

"Pfft, why? Nobody got hurt?" Duncan pointed out. "Well, it might've hurt Chris' ego."

"Makin' stuff explode _could_ hurt someone though so you shouldn't do it." Chef told him.

"Uh, my memory may not be totally accurate, but I'm pretty sure some of the challenges had explosions." Duncan pointed out. "I wouldn't have even had that dynamite to blow up Chris' mansion if it wasn't for you guys putting it in the challenge."

"It's fun when the producers do it, but it ain't fun when you guys do it." Chef stated.

"Isn't that hypocritical?" Duncan asked.

"Y'know what, we'll circle back around to this topic some other time." Chef told him. "I'm s'posed to be the one asking questions anyway."

"Fine, fine, ask away." Duncan said.

"So how have things been since you got outta prison?" Chef asked.

"Pretty all right." Duncan admitted. "Going to prison actually made my other friends like me more. They're always asking me what it was like and stuff… I exaggerate a lot though. Make myself look cooler."

"What about your parents?" Chef asked.

"Meh, they're still really square." Duncan said. "Don't like me staying out late and stuff."

"'Square'? Do people still say that?" Chef remarked.

"No… Not really. Don't know why I said it." Duncans admitted. "Anyway, point is, now that I'm outta prison, I'm the big man on campus. Metaphorically, I'm not actually in college."

"So what do you do with your free time?" Chef asked.

"I'm in a band actually." Duncan said.

"What's it called?" Chef asked.

"Well, we keep changing names." Duncan explained. "First we were 'Critical Condition', then it was 'Fried Rats', then we were 'The Crypt Keepers', then we went back to 'Critical Condition' but that time we replaced the C's with K's and now… I think we're called 'High Voltage'… I'll have to check though."

"So are you guys popular?" Chef inquired.

"I'd say moderately popular." Duncan said. "We're mostly doing local stuff. But trust me, once we decide on a name, we'll b the next big thing in rock music."

"So thing's are goin' pretty good for you." Chef remarked.

"Yeah, I know. I didn't think I'd be doing this well for myself." Duncan admitted.

"Have you been destroyin' any property that ain't yours lately?" Chef asked.

"Me and my friends like to spray paint our names in abandoned buildings." Duncan replied.

"Uh huh, and would ya do anything like that if ya went back on the show?" Chef said. "Or possibly blow up anything? It's the explosions we're mostly worried about."

"I'm not going to _intend_ to blow anything up." Duncan began. "But, if certain circumstances present themselves, it might just happen."

"So you're sayin' you might blow stuff up." Chef replied.

"Maybe." Duncan said.

"Do ya wanna go back on the show or not?" Chef asked.

"I guess so, it's pretty fun." Duncan replied.

"Then ya gotta promise not to destroy our property. Chris is the only one who can do that." Chef said.

"Listen, I don't listen to what people tell me to do." Duncan stated. "I've _never_ listened to authority."

"Hmm, that much is clear." Chef remarked. "Tell ya what, Duncan, how 'bout you and me go out somewhere. I do this with pretty much everyone else and it's worked out so far."

"All right, sure." Duncan replied. "Where are we going?"

"Usually, I let my guests, meaning _you_ , decide." Chef explained.

"Hmm… Know any good places a rocker or street punk might hang out?" Duncan asked.

"Ain't really my scene." Chef said.

"Well, in that case, let's just walk around." Duncan remarked. "See what we can find."

"Why not." Chef replied. "What's the worst that can happen?"

A little while later, Chef and Duncan were wandering the streets near the network building together.

"See any place you wanna go yet?" Chef asked.

"Nothing my style yet." Duncan replied. "But I'll let you know if anything catches my eye."

"So while we're walking, is it cool if I ask you some more questions?" Chef said.

"Go ahead." Duncan told him.

"You been talkin' to anyone from the show lately?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, some of them. I'm still friends with Geoff and a few others over social media." Duncan replied.

"Uh huh, good to know." Chef said. "Hey, I was wonderin'-"

"Hold up, I think I see a place I wanna go." Duncan interrupted.

"Oh, okay then." Chef replied. "Where is it?"

Duncan pointed to a place across the street with a sign above it reading "Café Roadkill".

"Well, there's an appetizing name." Chef sarcastically remarked.

"Sounds pretty hardcore. Let's check it out." Duncan said.

Pretty soon, Chef found himself at a table in the restaurant sharing a basket of fries with Duncan.

"So what were you wanna ask me before?" Duncan asked.

"Oh, right, that." Chef remembered. "Duncan, in order for you to come back on the show, we need you to promise to try not to destroy anything."

"Pfft, it's not like it's something I do regularly. I shouldn't have to promise anything." Duncan said.

"Yeah, but, twice is too many times accordin' to the producers." Chef told him.

"Chris is rich, I'm sure he has another mansion somewhere." Duncan argued.

" _Cottage_." Chef corrected him.

"Whatever. And even if I didn't blow it up it wouldn't have mattered. It'd just be at the bottom of that lake by the end of the season." Duncan pointed out.

"Fine, ya made yer point." Chef said. "But, for legal reasons, we need ya to be less destructive than that. You can still do what ya do best, that's what gives us ratings. But don't destroy any cottages or rock formations."

"Just those two things?" Duncan asked.

"Well, no, that was just an example." Chef said. "Just nothin' big. Can ya promise at least that?"

"Define big." Duncan requested.

Chef let out a loud frustrated sigh of anguish.

"How long are we gonna go back and forth?" Chef asked. "What's the point?"

"I wanna go back on the show. For the most part, I've had fun on the show." Duncan began. "But… I hate following rules. And there's no way I'm going to pretend to agree to these ridiculous regulations that you're setting up. I mean, what even are the chances I blow something up again?"

"So what yer sayin' is that you wanna have your cake and eat it too?" Chef said.

"Yeah, pretty much." Duncan said. "So is there any way for me to do it."

"Look, I'm sure the chances of you doin' the same thing three times are low." Chef told Duncan. "But I gotta fill out certain things to approve you. It's just protocol. Just agree to the regulations."

"Hmm…" Duncan trailed off. "How about no?"

"Is it so much to ask you to _not_ break any cabins or large machines?" Chef asked.

"It's the principle of the thing." Duncan stated. "I've always been against authority and I'm not gonna agree with it now."

"Jesus, I really am gonna be here a while…" Duncan mumbled to himself.

"You okay?" Duncan asked.

"I've had to deal with this sorta stuff for the last several… I don't even know how long, of course I ain't okay." Chef replied. "Now can we please focus on the topic."

"Fine, fine, go ahead." Duncan said.

"So, Duncan, let's go through this one more time." Chef told him. "We're okay with you doin' whatever you want to. Make fun of the other guys on the show, that's fine. Spray paint a cabin, go ahead."

"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad." Duncan remarked.

" _But_ all ya gotta do is not cause damage anything the size of a house or bigger." Chef continued. "Can we agree to that?"

"Hmm… I'm just not sure." Duncan admitted.

"Look, all ya gotta do is agree. Ya don't even have to uphold it." Chef said.

"All right… That might be doable." Duncan remarked. "Hmm… Let me think some more…"

"Seriously?" Chef asked.

"Listen, I have my own personal code. And it may not make much sense, but I have one." Duncan said.

"Look, ya don't even have to mean it." Chef told him. "I just need to write down that you said it."

"Hmm…. If it means I get to go home and forget about all of this, fine." Duncan replied.

"So you agree to these terms?" Chef asked. "'Cause I wanna go home too but I need some solid confirmation from you. Gotta write this stuff down."

"Yep, won't go out of my way to destroy anything bigger than a house." Duncan stated. "Okay, an I go now."

"Yeah, I think we wrapped things up here nicely." Chef told him.

"Oh, great. Lemme just finish these fries first." Duncan said.

"All right, I'm gonna be headin' home. Got my own life to attend to." Chef replied.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead." Duncan replied.

"Oh hey, hope it didn't come off like I didn't like ya by the way." Chef added.

"No, it kinda did." Duncan told him. "Like, a lot actually."

"Sorry, under a lotta stress 'round here." Chef said. "Anyway, yer a good kid, Duncan… Well… Maybe 'Good' is a stretch. But ya ain't the worst."

"Oh, uh, thanks I guess." Duncan remarked. "That's pretty high praise coming from you."

"Anyway, I'm gonna go now." Chef told him. "See ya later. And thanks for puttin' up with me."

Chef stood up from the table and began to exit the restaurant. As soon as he was outside he took out his smartphone and dialed a number into it.

"This time, I'm beatin' them to the call." Chef stated as he waited for a response on the other side.

After a few more seconds, someone picked up.

"Ah, hello there Chef." Johansson replied from the other line. "What can I do for you?"

"Just wanted to let you know that the thing with Duncan went all right." Chef explained.

"Oh, really now. That's a relief to hear." Johansson replied. "He's pretty popular you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I figured." Chef said.

"So, is that all you're here to say or can I hang up now?" Johansson asked.

"Hold on I got one other question." Chef told her.

"Oh, and what's that?" Johansson asked.

"Who am I talkin' to next? Di Giovanni was all cryptic when I asked him." Chef explained.

"Oh, that would be Max." Johansson explained.

"Ah, dammit!" Chef exclaimed. "Uh, sorry. I just wasn't expectin' that. We're talkin' bout the little super villain guy."

"Yes, that would be the one." Johansson said.

"He wasn't kiddin' when he said he'd find the weirdest." Chef remarked.

"You should be talking to him in a couple of days." Johansson told Chef. "Hope that's all right."

"Well, thanks for tellin' me." Chef said. "See ya later."

Chef hung up the phone and stopped in the middle of the street.

"So… Max… This ain't gonna be fun." Chef told himself.

* * *

 **And that was the chapter. Once again, sorry about the lateness of this chapter. Hopefully, the next one will be up on time. Anyway, as stated at the end of this chapter, Max is up next so you all have that to look forward to. Once again, I really don't have much to say about this chapter. Hope you guys liked it and if you feel like it, be sure to leave a review to tell me what you thought. Anyway, thanks for reading.**


	20. Max

**And now this story is updated. Sorry it took so long. Hopefully, the update schedule is now more frequent. Anyway, this chapter is a big longer than some of the previous ones. Hope you all don't mind that. Anyway, I really don't have much to say about this opening. Enjoy the rest of this chapter.**

* * *

One morning outside of a roadside gas station, Chef Hatchet paced around outside the convenience store area of the station. He had his cell phone pressed against his ear and was engaged in conversation with someone on the other end.

"Walk me through this again, exactly why do I gotta drive up north to talk to Max?" Chef asked. "Usually they're the ones comin' to me."

"Yes, yes, I realize that." Johnson said. "He had another scheduling conflict but Di Giovanni was insistent about getting you to talk to him."

"This kid's crazy, Johnson." Chef said. "Can't I just say no."

"The higher ups said everybody deserves a fair chance." Johnson stated. "So you'll have to be patient with Max."

"Ugh, fine." Chef replied.

"Don't worry, the boy is more delusional than genuinely evil." Johnson said.

"Yeah, well, we'll see about that." Chef remarked.

"Stay positive." Johnson told him. "It's worked so far, hasn't it?"

"Kinda." Chef said. "I feel like if I have to do any more of these interviews my brain is gonna implode."

"I'm sure there are hardly any left." Johnson stated.

"Define 'Hardly Any'." Chef requested.

"Ten, eleven. I'll have to check." Johnson said. "Now get to work and talk to that pint-sized, supervillain, freak."

"Thanks for the words of encouragement." Chef semi-sarcastically said. "All right, I'm gonna hang up now. You take care of yerself."

Chef hung up his phone.

"Ugh, let's just get this over with." Chef said.

About half an hour later, Chef was driving his car through what appeared to be a relatively normal, quiet neighbourhood.

"Hmm… Which of these houses belongs to Max's family?" Chef wondered. "Producers said to stop at the green house… Oh, there it is."

Chef pulled up into the driveway of a quaint little house with a pea green paintjob.

"All right, I'm gonna make this quick." Chef told himself. "Get in, get out, don't do any unnecessary extra work. Let's go!"

Chef got out of the car and walked over to the house's front door where he rang the doorbell. After waiting for a moment the door opened up. On the other side of the door stood a middle aged woman with curly brown hair wearing a black skirt, white t-shirt, and rectangular glasses.

"Oh, hello there. May I help you?" The woman asked.

"Hi, are you Max's mother? I gotta talk to your son today." Chef explained.

"Oh, you're from the TV show." The woman realized. "Wonderful. I'm his mother, Karen. Max is just in his room right now."

"Great. Can ya show me the way?" Chef asked.

"It should be easy to find." Karen stated. "Just looked for the door with the sign that says 'Evil In Progress' on it."

"Of course he has that on the door…" Chef muttered to himself.

"Ah, and one more thing." Karen spoke up. "Max is babysitting today so you'll have some extra company. Isn't that fun?"

Karen smiled at Chef.

"Yeah, sure." Chef said, not quite sure how to take the hospitality. "Didn't expect Max's folks to be so nice.

"I get that a lot." Karen admitted.

"Well, I'll go find Max." Chef said as he entered the house.

"Okie dokie, let me know if you need anything." Karen replied.

After a few moments of walking around, Chef found the door to Max's room which indeed had a yellow sign with the words "Evil In Progress" printed on it in big black letters.

"Huh, she wasn't wrong." Chef remarked. "Well, better get things started. Quicker I get things done the more personal time I get to have."

Chef pushed open the door to the room. On the other side of the room, Max sat at a table across from a blonde haired kid wearing a black hoodie that looked several years younger than him. The two of them appeared to be engaged in a game of chess. The younger kid moved a bishop to where Max's queen was an took it out.

"Looks like I get your queen." The kid remarked.

"No!" Max exclaimed. "You shall pay for this you insolent child! Your king won't be safe forever."

"Whoa, take it easy." The kid said.

"Evil never takes it easy!" Max yelled. "You hear me? Never! Mwahaha!

Chef pretended to clear his throat in hopes of gaining Max's attention.

"Hey, Max, we're s'posed to talk to day." Chef spoke up in case his throat clearing didn't work.

Max and the kid looked over at Chef.

"Oh… It's you." Max said, an overtone of disdain in his voice. "I suppose you're here to do that interview."

"Yep, that's what they hired me for." Chef said.

"Uh… Hi there." The kid greeted, not too sure how to react to this.

"I'm just gonna pull up a chair, okay." Chef explained as he grabbed

"Hmmph, very well." Max said.

Chef grabbed a chair from behind a table and sat down with Max and the kid he was babysitting.

"Now, where was I?" Max asked.

"You were mad because I took out you queen." The kid reminded him.

"Oh, yes." Max remembered before resuming his previous demeanor. "How dare you do this to me!"

"Max, cool it." Chef told him. "Don't yell at this kid."

"I'm not a kid, I'm thirteen." The kid stated.

Chef looked at a kid for a few seconds.

"Wait a minute… Do I know you?" Chef asked. "Ya look familiar."

"Uh, you might've seen me." The kid replied.

Chef stared for a few more seconds.

"Oh yeah, you were on that racin' show that was on my network." Chef realized. "Ridonculous Race, right."

"Yeah, I was on there." The kid said. "I'm Dwayne Junior. But everyone just calls me Junior."

"Right, right, it's comin' back to me now. You and yer dad were on the show." Chef remembered. "… Wait, why're you here?"

"My dad doesn't think I'm old enough to be home alone." Junior explained. "So… Max is my babysitter. We just happen to live in the same town."

"Well, I'm gonna be talkin' to Max today. Don't le me bother you or anything." Chef said.

"Uh, can I just go to another room?" Junior requested.

"Never!" Max declared. "You stay here, Queen Killer."

"Um, all right." Junior replied.

"You know what Max, it's your house, you do whatever." Chef remarked. "But you're still gonna need to answer my questions."

"Very well." Max said. "Continue then."

"So Max, I read your file and it said I wanted to look into your erratic behavior." Chef explained.

"It's not 'Erratic'. It's _genius_!" Max proclaimed.

"Uh huh…" Chef trailed off. "Care to explain yourself."

"I am possibly the greatest mind to ever exist." Max stated. "There's so much raw evil pumping through my veins it's unbelievable."

"Um… Okay then." Chef replied. "Seems like ya also have delusions of grandeur."

"Ha! Shut up, fool." Max said. "Just like everyone else, you're simply jealous of me."

"Sure, 'Jealous' whatever you say." Chef said. "Look Max, you're file said you call yourself a supervillain."

"I certainly am." Max stated.

"Uh huh, care to tell me about some 'Evil Deeds' of yours?" Chef asked.

"Oh, too many to name." Max stated.

"Really?" Chef asked. "C'mon, just name one."

"It's too evil for your ears to hear." Max told him.

Chef looked over at Junior.

"You know anything about this?" Chef asked him. "You live in this town right."

"Leave the boy out of this." Max stated. "This is about _us_."

"I know a bit about Max actually." Junior remarked. "We got to different schools but I see him around sometimes."

"What did I just say!?" Max exclaimed.

"He has a bunch of machines in his closet though. Oh, and in his garage." Junior continued.

"How do you know that?" Max angrily asked.

"I looked around the house while you were helping your mom with groceries." Junior explained.

"Grr! Never do that again. Only _I_ know how to operate those machines of evil." Max said.

"Right, right, and do any of them _work_?" Chef asked.

"I dunno, but they looked pretty cool." Junior remarked.

"Pfft, my gadgets are not _cool_. They're _dangerous_." Max told him.

"Could you explain those?" Chef requested.

"Most certainly." Max replied. "There's my mind control device, my freezing gun, my melting gun, my time machine…. I could go on."

"Do any of 'em work?" Chef asked.

"Well, most of them are in the prototype phase right now." Max admitted. "So no, they don't work. But soon they certainly will… Mwahahaha!"

"Right, sure, I'm sure they will." Chef sarcastically said.

"Oh, you'd better believe it." Max obliviously replied.

"And could ya show us any of these machines?" Chef asked.

"I certainly can." Max replied. "But… I'm not ready to reveal them to someone who isn't my sidekick."

Before the conversation was able to continue, there was a knock at the door.

"Oh Maxie, I got some lunch for you and your friends!" The voice of Max's mom called over to them.

"I don't have time for this, mother!" Max angrily replied. "I have much evil conduct."

Karen stepped into the room carrying a plate of three crustless grilled cheese sandwiches.

"But I made grilled cheese without the crust. I know it's you favourite." Karen told him.

"Ooh, thank you." Max remarked as he grabbed a sandwich.

"Go on, I made enough for all three of you boys." Karen said.

Chef and Junior grabbed some sandwiches.

"Thank you Max's mom." Junior said.

"Yeah, thanks Karen." Chef said.

"No problem. You boys have fun." Karen replied.

Karen exited the room.

"Gotta say, your mom doesn't act how I expected her to." Chef remarked.

"And what exactly are you implying about my dear mother?" Max asked.

"Nothin', nothin'." Chef replied. "She's just a very nice person."

"Oh, thank you then." Max said. "Naturally she isn't as evil for me. But I don't mind, less competition after all. I try to disassociate from her actually. Ruins my whole image. Rather embarrassing."

"Why exactly do ya wanna be 'Evil' exactly?" Chef asked. "Just sayin' most kids your age ain't interested in that kinda thing."

"Why wouldn't I want to be evil?" Max replied. "World domination is something that I aspire to achieve because it sounds…. I don't quite know the word. I guess 'Fun' wouldn't quite do it justice. But you get the general idea."

"Ya still didn't answer." Chef pointed out. "What made ya make this decision?"

"Well, I guess you could say it was to rebel against my parents." Max said. "Most people my age would use rock music or piercings to do that. But I am far more ambitious… Oddly, my parents seem rather unbothered by it. It's very weird."

"Y'know, I really think I've got more questions than before." Chef admitted. "You sure you can't show me any of your machines?"

"Well… I do enjoy sharing my genius." Max replied.

"So we're checkin' out the garage then?" Chef asked.

"Oh, we certainly are." Max said.

"Do I have to go?" Junior asked, sounding uninterested.

"Yes." Max told him. "I do not trust you to be on your own, small child."

"C'mon, I'm thirteen." Junior replied.

"Silence child! You will follow me." Max said.

"Ugh, fine." Junior reluctantly complied.

"How're you hired as babysitter?" Chef wondered.

"I have cheap rates." Max explained. "Now, follow me minions!"

Chef and Junior shared an annoyed glance.

A little while later, Chef, Max, and Junior had entered a garage that had many objects covered in sheets, blankets, and tarps.

"Damn, it's dark in here." Chef remarked. "Can we get some lights on?"

"Never! It isn't an evil lair if there are lights." Max said. "Well, maybe red, blue, or pruple lights but not regular lights."

"All right, all right, fine." Chef replied. "Just show us what some of these weird machines are like."

"Ah, yes, the fun part." Max remarked. "Trust me, you'll both be impressed by this."

"C'mon, stop stalling and show us the good part." Junior requested.

"Quiet, fool. This is _my_ house." Max told him. "But, since you're so curious, let's start with one of my personal favourites…"

Max yanked the tarp off a slightly boxy shape to reveal what appeared to be a golf cart modified with seemingly random bits of metal and what looked like it was supposed to be a gun.

"Is that… A golf cart?" Chef asked. "Where'd ya even get that?"

"Oh, I have my mysterious evil ways." Max replied before pausing to add. "... My father used to work on a golf course."

"What does it even do?" Chef questioned.

"Yeah, what're all those pieces for?" Junior added.

"It's an attack vehicle." Max explained. "It's got thick impenetrable armour and destructive weapons. It will lead the charge when I take over the world! Mwahahaha!"

"Does it work?" Chef asked.

"I've taken it on a few test runs." Max replied. "As the local police have informed me, it is not street legal. Not that I care."

"Has taht gun thing worked?" Junior asked.

"No, not yet." Max admitted. "But I've got a feeling I'm getting close."

"Man, you must have a lotta spare time." Chef remarked.

"Indeed I do. I don't waste any time with things like 'Friendships' or 'Homework'." Max explained. "Well, that second one maybe a little but the first one I never bother with."

"What else have ya got around here?" Chef asked.

"Feel free to look around." Max told him. "None of this stuff is activated... Er, or working. Nevertheless, I am still very proud of my inventions."

"Wow, you built this all yourself?" Junior asked.

"Indeed I did. My father did help on occasion though." Max said.

"Your parents are cool with this?" Chef remarked, sounding a little curious.

"Yes, they're very supportive of my aims for world domination!" Max exclaimed. "Hahahaha!"

"Okay, that's enough." Chef said.

"Quiet fool, nobody can tell me what to do." Max replied.

"Oh Maxie, your father's home!" The voice of Karen called out from out of the view of either of the three boys. "Come say hi!"

"Yes mother!" Max called back before looking over at Chef and Junior. "Neither of you go anywhere. _Or else_."

"Relax, we won't do anything." Junior told him.

"Hmmph, sure you won't." Max replied.

"Maxie, please don't keep your parents waiting!" Karen called out again.

"Coming, mother!" Max shouted back.

Max ran off from the garage. After a few moments, Chef and Junior attempted conversation.

"So..." Chef trailed off. "What'cha wanna do 'til he gets back?"

"Um, I dunno." Junior replied. "Wasn't really expecting this today."

"Yeah, neither did I." Chef admitted.

There was another brief silence between the two of them.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Chef requested.

"Sure thing." Junior replied. "What is it?"

"I can't really make heads or tails of Max." Chef explained. "He's either a harmless idiot or a delusional lunatic. You've ran into him before I assume. Whatta you think?"

"Hmm... It's knda hard to tell." Junior admitted. "It's not like I really pay much attention to him."

"Well, just tell me a little about what you know." Chef requested.

"Uh... I guess he's kind of a weirdo but he doesn't seem like a dangerous person." Junior said. "He says a lot of things that don't make sense though. But... I don't you should worry about him."

"He did team up with an _actual_ supervillain though." Chef remembered.

"Oh, right, I watched that season. The nerdy girl who turned out to be crazy, right?" Junior said. "But I remember Max being really scared of her."

"Hmm, true." Chef replied. "Maybe he really is just an idiot... Then again, he's clearly _trying_ something with all this stuff he built... But also none of it works."

"So what do you think?" Junior asked. "Are you gonna let him back?"

"I really don't know." Chef admitted. "Whatta you think? Think it's safe to let him back?"

"Well, I'm not a safety expert. But when I watched the show I thought he was funny... But also annoying... Huh, you know, I'm not sure either." Junior remarked.

At that moment, Max entered the garage.

"Sidekicks! Your leader has returned!" Max announced himself.

"Oh, hi Max." Junior replied in an underwhelmed fashion.

"That is not the type of greeting you give to your leader." Max stated.

"Save it for later, Max." Chef told him.

"Very well, I'll let this slide." Max replied. "But only because you intimidate me significantly."

"Listen, Max, I just wanted to let you know that I've come to a conclusion." Chef explained.

"Oh, really?" Max asked. "What is it?"

"Yeah, I thought you said you weren't sure." Junior added.

"Actually, I think I'm gonna make my decision." Chef told him.

"Well, get on with it and tell me." Max requested.

"Max, we're lettin' you come back on the show." Chef stated.

"Mwahaha! My evil reign shall return to Total Drama!" Max exclaimed.

"Yeah, sure, you enjoy that." Chef replied, sounding unsure about what emotion to have.

Max ignored Chef's comment and turned to Junior.

"Come sidekick, back to my lair!" Max ordered. "I have plans to lay out!"

"Oh c'mon, I don't wanna go back to your room." Junior complained. "It's really unorganized in there."

"Silence, fool! Don't make me drag you there!" Max threatened.

"Seriously?" Junior asked. "It's not like you'd really-"

Max grabbed him by the wrist and started to lead him back towards the room.

"Okay, guess we're doing this." Junior remarked as he followed Max. "Wow, you have a weak grip."

"Please stop complaining, I have plans to make." Max repeated as him and Junior turned away from the area and went out of Chef's sight.

"Yep, he's _definitely_ harmless." Chef said.

A little later, Chef was exiting the house of Max's family at about the time Karen was watering the front garden. She happened to notice Chef as he was leaving.

"Well hey there!" Karen cheered. "How'd talking to little Maxie go?"

"Uh, it was... Interesting, I guess ya could say." Chef replied.

"Yeah, he gets that a lot." Karen admitted.

"Uh huh, I bet." Chef remarked. "Anyway, I'll see y'all later."

Karen nodded and waved him goodbye. Chef walked over to where his car was parked and entered his vehicle. Once he had sat down, Chef took his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number into it. As soon as someone picked up on the other end, Chef began to speak.

"It's done." Chef stated.

After a brief pause, whoever was on the other end began to speak.

"Er... I'm sorry, who is this?" The voice of Johansson asked from the other end.

"Oh, sorry, it's Chef." Chef identified himself. "I just finished up with Max."

"Ah, good." Johansson replied. "And what's the verdict? Should he come back?"

"Yeah, I guess so. He definitely wants to be taken seriously as a threat, but he just ain't." Chef said. "We should be fine."

"Excellent." Johansson said. "Oh, and just to let you know, you can't come home yet."

"Wait, what?!" Chef asked, sounding aggrivated.

"It's only a few hours north, you should be able to reach there tomorrow." Johansson explained. "It's for convenience's sake, really. Oh, would you look at that? I'm about to go through a tunnel. Goodbye."

Johansson abruptly hung up and Chef took a few moments to get a hold of what just happened.

"Well, 'least it can't get much crazier than Max... I hope so, anyway." Chef told himself.

* * *

 **And** **that was the chapter. Hope you guys liked it because I sure had fun writing it. By the way, I know it seems kind of out of left field to include Junior in this chapter, but I just felt like trying to give another Ridonculous Race character a cameo (Kinda like how the Goth's showed up in Leonard's chapter). Anyway, hope you liked that aspect of the chapter. I don't have much else to say so be sure to leave a review if you feel like it and I'll see you next time. Thanks for reading.**


	21. Jo

**And this story is now updated. I've actually been meaning to write Jo's chapter for a while but for whatever reason kept forgetting about it. Until now that is. Anyway, I haven't actually got that much to say so let's just move right ahead to the main part of the chapter.**

* * *

One day on the street of an unremarkable looking neighbourhood, Chef was driving around in his car in search of something while his smartphone lay on the car's dashboard in speakerphone mode.

"I don't get why I have to answer these questions." The voice of Chris remarked from the other line.

"I just want a simple explanation, is that too much to ask?" Chef said.

"Fine, fine, you got me. I wasn't actually listening." Chris admitted. "Repeat whatever your question was."

"I got an email from our producer Ms. Johansson last night 'bout me interviewin' Courtney and directions to her house." Chef explained. "But then this morning, she sends me an email 'bout how this has changed and now I gotta go to a completely different town and talk to Jo."

"I don't see what you're asking." Chris remarked.

"Why exactly did it change?" Chef asked. "You gotta know, right? You got a connection to the producers."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, it was just a scheduling conflict. Don't worry about it." Chris told him.

"Y'know I really feel like you all don't really communicate with me enough." Chef remarked.

"We've been working on that." Chris claimed.

"That's what you've been tellin' me ever since I started this but I ain't so sure I believe it." Chef said.

"Listen, Chef, buddy, we're gonna totally make some changes to accommodate you, all right." Chris told him. "But right now, get over to Jo's house and make sure she won't break anyone's nose if she comes back on the show, okay?"

"All right, fine. But if she tries to punch me I'm gettin' straight outta there." Chef said.

"That's what I'd do." Chris admitted. "Anyway, you have fun now."

"Hold on, don'cha hang up on me." Chef told Chris.

Chef's request came too late as Chris hung up on the other end as soon as the words left Chef's mouth.

"Dammit…" Chef muttered to himself. "Well, guess I'll just go find Jo's place."

Chef continued to drive around the neighbourhood for a few moments, keeping a close eye on the houses he passed.

"Hold up, I think I see the right address." Chef told himself.

Chef pulled up next to a pretty regular house with the only odd detail being two dumbbells left in the lawn for some reason.

"Yep, definitely the place." Chef said, eyeing the dumbbells.

Chef got out of the car and approached the front porch of the house. Once he was at the door he knocked at it several times. And after a few moments passed, the door opened to reveal a muscular middle aged man with a thick moustache on the other end.

"Well hey ya, how're you doing?" The man greeted. "You're that guy from the show Jolene was on, aren't ya?"

"Yep, that's me." Chef confirmed. "Name's Chef."

"Great to meet ya, Chef. I'm Oscar. I guess you're probably lookin' for my daughter." The man said.

"Ya know where I can find her?" Chef asked.

"Yep, she's over in the backyard right now." Oscar stated. "C'mon, follow me."

Oscar walked further into his own house and Chef followed him.

"So what's she doin' in the backyard right now?" Chef asked.

"Probably exercising." Oscar guessed. "It's one of Jo's major interests. One of mine too actually. Must run in the family. Anywho, I'll try not to bother you two while you're talking. Unless you really need help."

"I'm sure she won't be much trouble." Chef replied.

"That's great to hear." Oscar said.

Oscar walked over to a sliding glass door in the house's dining room.

"She should be out there." Oscar gestured to the door. "C'mon, keep following."

Chef and Oscar exited into the house's backyard. Once outside they saw a clear vision of Jo doing push ups out in the backyard.

"Jolene! That cook guy from the TV show you were on is here!" Oscar yelled to her.

"This is kind of a bad time, dad." Jo said, not stopping her workout.

"Well, he came here on his own time, heh." Oscar laughed a little. "I'll leave you two to it. Bye now."

Oscar walked away from the backyard, leaving Chef and Jo by themselves. Jo stopped doing her push ups and approached Chef once her father was gone.

"So… You're here." Jo remarked.

"Yep… Sure am." Chef said, not quite sure how to start out.

Jo stood up from the ground.

"So, what exactly are you investigating me for?" Jo asked as she turned around to face Chef.

"I ain't investigatin' you. But I read your file on the way here, and the producers think you got anger issues." Chef explained.

"Pfft, come on. Being competitive doesn't mean I have anger issues." Jo stated.

"I dunno, I sorta remember you havin' anger issues." Chef replied.

"Well, I think I remember me better than you remember me." Jo claimed.

"Y'know what Jo, let's get back to that later." Chef said. "I got a couple questions I wanna ask."

"OKay, fine, I'm listening." Jo replied.

"First off, do you have anywhere we could sit?" Chef asked.

"Is that one of the questions on the list?" Jo enquired.

"No, but I just don't wanna stand this whole time." Chef explained.

"Oh, got it." Jo replied. "Anyway, yeah, we've got some chairs over on the back porch. C'mon, follow me."

Jo led Chef over to the back deck of her house where a glass table and some plastic chairs were set up.

"It's not much but at least it's kinda comfortable." Jo told him.

"Oh, uh, thanks I guess." Chef replied.

The two of them sat down at the table.

"So, have any questions for me?" Jo asked.

"Oh, right, that." Chef remembered. "Lemme start of with this: Do ya got many friends?"

"Hmm... I have a lot of _acquaintances_." Jo replied. "Not sure if I consider many of them friends though."

"And why's that?" Chef asked.

"I dunno, guess I just like being alone." Jo said. "Plus, most people are kinda annoying."

"People you know or just people in general?" Chef asked.

"The latter." Jo replied. "I never seem to really get along with anyone."

"You sure that ain't a you problem?" Chef remarked.

"C'mon, aren't you supposed to be impartial or something?" Jo asked.

"I never said that." Chef pointed out.

"Okay, fine. Fair enough." Jo said. "So, have any more questions?"

"Indeed I do." Chef replied. "I'm curious 'bout what an average day is like for you."

"Well, I like working out." Jo stated. "Guess that's pretty obvious though. It doesn't really matter where. The gym, the park, my house. Any place where I can getr exercise is good for me."

"What's your endgame here?" Chef asked.

"What do you mean?" Jo said.

"Whatta you trainin' _for_ exactly?" Chef clarified his question.

"Nothing in particular." Jo admitted. "I just like staying fit."

"And why's that?" Chef asked.

"Why not?" Jo replied. "Excercise is good for you and I always wanna be the best. I feel like that's a good enough reason."

"All right, you're right about that." Chef admitted. "But do ya ever feel like yer over obsessed with it?"

"No, I wouldn't say that." Jo replied. "It's healthy. And I don't think I like you being so judgy about it."

"Okay, fine. Let's move on to another topic." Chris said. "Would you say you're prone to outburst of anger?"

"Pfft, of course not." Jo brushed his concerns off. "It's just that everyone I know is really annoying."

"You sure you ain't the one annoyin' them." Chef remarked.

"Y'know, I'd _really_ prefer it if you were impartial." Jo said.

"Okay, sorry, I'll try." Chef replied. "It's just the producers are concerned about your anger issues and over competitiveness... Is 'Competitiveness' a word?"

Jo shrugged.

"The point is, I'm just here to make sure those problems won't interfere witht he show" Chef explained. "Now c'mon, just admit that _maybe_ you can get a little too angry sometimes."

"Okay, fine, maybe I go just a bit too far when I'm annoyed with people." Jo admitted. "But it's not like I _hate_ them. I just want them to be as good as me."

"So you think you're pretty great?" Chef asked.

"Of course I am." Jo replied. "If dictionaries had pictures, they'd use a photo of me for the word 'Healthy'."

"You sure ya just don't have an inflated go?" Chef remarked.

"Pfft, no." Jo denied. "C'mon, look at me. I'm in pretty great shape, aren't I?"

"Yeah, all right. Fine." Chef admitted. "But ya still seem to think a bit too highly of yourself in my opinion."

"Can we just move on?" Jo requested.

"Fine." Chef accepted. "So, are ya interested in comin' back on the show at all?"

"Definitely. I had fun the first time and absolutely have to prove myself after being voted out third in All-Stars." Jo replied. "Seriously, that's not the note I wanna leave this series on."

"Okay, I'll be keepin' that in mind when makin' the decision." Chef remarked.

"Listen, I really think you're blowing my alleged 'Anger Issues' out of proportion." Jo said. "I'm a natural born leader. People fear strong leadership so they're interpreting it as anger issues."

"Sure, that's you version of it." Chef remarked.

"Ugh, I feel like the both of us are going nowhere." Jo complained.

"Would a change of scenery help?" Chef suggested.

"Hmm... Y'know, it just might." Jo admitted.

"Anywhere you wanna go?" Chef asked.

"I'm thinking the gym." Jo replied.

"All right, I could be up for that." Chef remarked. "C'mon, let's go. We're takin' my car."

"Why can't we take my family's car?" Jo asked.

"I like my car, that's why." Chef told her.

"Hmmph, fine. But I call shotgun." Jo said.

"I was plannin' on drivin' anyway." Chef remarked.

"Whatever, let's just go already." Jo said.

A little while later, Chef had driven his car away from Jo's house and into a more business oriented part of the town.

"So am I goin' the right way?" Chef asked.

"Yep, just around the corner." Jo replied. "Trust me, I know where I'm going. I go here a lot actually."

Chef turned the corner and saw a large gym with a sign above the door reading "Weight For It".

"Okay, stop here." Jo told him.

Chef brought the car to a halt and the two of them exited it. Soon after, they went into the gym and walked around. Jo in particular seemed to be eyeing the equipment.

"Hey, let's check out the bikes." Jo told Chef.

"All right, fine. But then we're gettin' back to the questions." Chef replied.

Jo walked over to a line of stationary bikes and sat down on one of the bikes in the middle. She began peddling and once she had built up a good pace, Chef decided to start talking.

"So Jo, can we get back to the interview?" Chef asked.

"Uh huh, go ahead." Jo said, mostly focused on the exercise.

"All right, Jo, do ya think your competitive nature will affect how you play Total Drama?" Chef asked.

"Of course it will." Jo replied. "I always try to assert myself as the leader no matter the situation. So when I come back on your show, you bet I'll let being competitve affect me."

"Huh, y'know Jo, yer a lot more normal than I remember you bein'." Chef admitted.

"What're you saying!?" Jo angrily asked. "Are you calling me a freak or something!?"

"Well, I, er, maybe." Chef replied.

"I'll have you know that I'm one of the most normal people to be on your show!" Jo declared. "I demand to be on the next season just to spite you in particular!"

"Okay, okay, calm down." Chef told her. "Y'know I gotta say, even with all the yellin', ya still ain't as angry as Eva."

"Who the hell is Eva?" Jo asked.

"First season, super muscular, really angry, liked her MP3. You ever watch season one?" Chef asked.

"Nah, I didn't really start paying attention 'til the third one." Jo replied.

"Well, Eva was basically like another version of you." Chef explained. "Only... Angrier."

"So a worse version of me, basically." Jo proudly said.

"Sure, whatever." Chef remarked.

"Are we done here?" Jo asked. "'Cause I feel like you're out of stuff to say."

"Yeah, yeah, I think it's safe to let you back. Gotta say, you're actin' way more normal than I expected." Chef admitted.

"I'm choosing to take that as a compliment." Jo remarked.

"I mostly meant it as one." Chef stated.

"So does this mean we're done here?" Jo asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess it does." Chef replied.

"Great. You can get going then. I think I'm gonna hang here for a little while longer." Jo told him.

"Whatever ya say." Chef remarked. "And seriously, ya seem way more well adjusted than I thought you'd be."

"You're damn right I'm well adjusted!" Jo cheered to herself. "Woo!"

"Okay, maybe not _entirely_ well adjusted." Chef said to himself beore raising his voice to speak to Jo. "You take care of yourself now, all right."

"Oh yeah, I will." Jo replied.

Chef walked away from Jo and left the gym. As he went over to the car, he took out his phone and dialed a number into it. He leaned against his car as he waited for someone to pick up.

"Hey, what's up man?" Di Giovanni greeted from the other side.

"Doin' fine. Just finished up with Jo." Chef replied.

"Ah, good. And is she coming back?" Di Giovanni asked.

"Yep. I told Jo this already, but she wasn't as crazy as I was expectin' her to be." Chef remarked.

"Well, that's great." Di Giovanni said. "Talk to ya later, pal."

"Hold up, I can go home now, right?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, yeah, totally." Di Giovanni replied.

"Thank god." Chef remarked.

"Just need you to make a quick pitstop on the way back." Di Giovanni said.

"Dammit!" Chef exclaimed. "You're kiddin' right?"

"Nope, not joking." Di Giovanni replied. "Don't worry, seriously. It's on the way back home. Okay, talk to you later."

Before Chef could say anything else, Di Giovanni hung up the phone.

"Y'know what, I ain't even angry by this point." Chef admitted to himself. "Besides, I'm sure this show is all outta crazy people to send me anyways."

* * *

 **And that's it for the chapter. I had fun with this and hopefully I'll get the next instalment up by next week. Oh, and this time I'll give a hint as to who the subject of the next chapter will be. The hint is they're from season one. Anyway, I haven't got much else to say regarding this chapter so leave a review if you feel like it and I'll see you later. Thanks for reading.**


	22. Katie & Sadie

**And now this story is back. Sorry that the updates are so infrequent. I've been busy with schoolwork which has been slowing me down. Anyway, this is the first chapter where Chef interviews two people at the same time. But it focuses on Katie and Sadie so that's a given. Anyway, I don't have much to say so you all enjoy the chapter now.**

* * *

In what had become normal for him, Chef drove around another nice looking neighbourhood with his smartphone set to speakerphone and set on his dashboard.

"Hello Chef, what do you want today?" The voice of Johnson asked through the phone.

"Just askin' a few questions." Chef explained. "Most of all, why do I gotta talk to Katie and Sadie? I mean, I don't remember 'em too well but I don't think they did anything that needs me to talk to 'em."

"Me and the other producers just thought they were weird." Johnson stated. "They seemed unnaturally close."

"All right, guess that's fair. Like I said, I don't remember 'em." Chef said.

"They don't like being separated. So it would be best to talk to them at the same time." Johnson explained. "Incidentally, look into why they're so close. It's a little weird."

"Yeah, even though you keep mentionin' them, I'm still pullin' blanks." Chef admitted. "Was there a chubby one and a skinny one?"

"Yes, I think you're starting to remember." Johnson remarked.

"Yeah, yeah, now I remember what they look like." Chef realized. "Don't remember a damn thing else."

"Well, that's your problem then, isn't it?" Johnson said. "Have a good day."

Johnson hung up on the other end.

"I just feel like we ain't connectin' sometimes." Chef remarked to nobody in particular. "Okay, now I just gotta find their houses. Oh, hold up, I think I already see it."

Chef stopped in front of two practically identical houses. Both had a vibrantly green paint job and an abundance of lawn ornaments.

"Yep, looks exactly like I expected." Chef said.

Chef pulled up to the curb and exited his car.

"I've already gotten through the weird stuff." Chef told himself. "This ain't gonna be so bad."

He walked up to the front door of the house on the left and knocked once he was close enough. After waiting for a few seconds, the door opened and on the other side stood Katie and Sadie.

"Eee! He's here!" Katie cheered.

"OMG, today's gonna be fun." Sadie said.

"Uh, hi girls." Chef remarked, unsure of how to react. "You know why I'm here today, right?"

"Uh huh, you're here to talk to us and stuff." Katie replied.

"Are either of your parents home?" Chef asked.

"Yep. We were just closer to the door." Katie explained.

"Now are you gonna stand there or come inside?" Sadie asked.

"Well, if you're offerin' I'd like to be inside." Chef stated.

"Then c'mon, follow us." Sadie said. "I've got a super nice room."

"Oh, so it's _your_ house." Chef remarked.

"Uh huh, now c'mon, follow us." Sadie told him.

A little while later, Chef had been led up to a room that was decorated with a staggering amount of pink.

"Ain't you girls startin' to get a bit old for this kinda thing?" Chef asked.

"I don't think so." Sadie said.

"Yeah, it looks cute." Katie added.

"Fine, whatever, just get me somewhere to sit." Chef requested.

Katie nodded as she grabbed two pink wooden chairs from nearby and arranged them in the middle of the room. Sadie took a folding table and a third chair before setting them up with the other two chairs.

"Okay, now we can start for real." Chef said.

The three of them sat down at the table.

"So, where are you gonna start?" Katie asked.

"Well, I wanna know exactly why you two are so close." Chef explained.

"What do you mean?" Sadie asked.

"Most people your age, they got friends. But... They ain't _this_ level of closeness." Chef said. "Y'know, the dressin' the same, finishin' each others sentences level of close."

"Well, I guess we've always been besties." Katie replied.

"Yep, it's always been this way." Sadie agreed. "We met when we were little and kinda just clicked."

"And that's never changed?" Chef asked.

"Oh, we've had our ups and downs. But at the end of the day Sadie's always my BFFFL." Katie said.

"Aw, thanks I'm also your BFFFL." Sadie replied.

"Gee, your the best." Katie remarked.

"No, _you're_ the best." Sadie said.

"Enough. You're both the best." Chef dismissively told them. "Now stop talkin' before you give me a sugar rush."

"Aw, 'cause e're that sweet." Katie said. "That's clever."

"Listen, just stop talkin'. I got more questions." Chef stated. "For one, what'd happen if you two got separated?"

"Oh, I'd die." Katie stated in complete earnest.

"Yeah, me too." Sadie added, nodding.

"Uh huh, can you answer the question without exaggerating?" Chef requested.

"Oh, we aren't exaggerating." Sadie stated.

"Yeah, it's like, super sad whenever Sadie isn't around." Katie added.

"It's like our souls are literally dying." Sadie continued.

"Can ya put it in other words?" Chef repeated his request. "'Cause I you to sound like normal people for this bit."

"Hmm... Okay, give us a second." Katie said.

"Yeah, this might be tricky." Sadie agreed.

"Just give us some time." Katie repeated herself.

"Don't worry, I'll wait." Chef said.

The trio sat in complete silence for a couple moments with Chef staring off into space and Katie and Sadie with intense looks of concentration on their faces looked at the ground.

"Oh! I got it!" Sadie spoke up.

"Ooh, what is it?" Katie asked.

"We're like a married couple except closer." Sadie stated. "And we're not married."

"That's like, the best way of putting it." Katie remarked. "And seriously, if me and Sadie were ever separated, it'd be the saddest thing to ever happen to us."

"We know this because it already happened." Sadie added.

"Okay, ya were able to make it sound normal, nice work." Chef remarked. "But, I got another question. If you get separated in a future Total Drama season, how would you handle it."

"About the same as before." Katie admitted.

"That ain't exactly what the producers were hopin' to hear." Chef told them.

"Aw, why not?" Sadie asked.

"Look, you two wanna come back on the show, right?" Chef asked.

"Oh, totally." Katie said.

"Yeah, it was super fun before." Sadie added.

"Well, the producers don't want you to be so miserable if you're separated." Chef explained. "Well, actually, they want you to be miserable. Just slightly less miserable."

"I don't know if that's possible." Katie said.

"Would goin' outside help?" Chef asked.

"Ooh, totally." Sadie replied. "Let's go over to Katie's. Her family just got a pool in their backyard."

"Eee! This is gonna be fun." Katie remarked. "C'mon Sadie, let's go get changed."

"I'll meet ya girls over there." Chef remarked.

A little while later, Chef, Katie, and Sadie had gone over to the backyard of Katie's house which indeed had a pool. Chef stood by the edge of the pool while Katie and Sadie splashed around, generally ignoring Chef.

"Uh, so can the three of us talk again?" Chef spoke up.

"Huh, oh yeah, right." Katie remembered. "Yeah, sure, we can talk."

"Listen, if you two wanna come back on the show, the network higher-ups need us to make sure you guys are safe." Chef explained. "Well safe-ish is the word they used."

"What does this have to do with us?" Sadie asked.

"I'm gettin' to it." Chef replied. "Ya see, we need to make sure you ladies ain't _too_ miserable 'bout bein' separated. Do ya get it?"

"Uh, I think we do." Katie said.

"Then if yer gonna come back, you two need to work on coping with being separated." Chef explained.

"I dunno, that sounds kinda, like, impossible." Katie replied.

"Yeah, _super_ impossible." Sadie added. "We spend all the time together."

"I know. You've told me. _A lot_." Chef said. "But can ya think of any ways of bein' less upset about bein' separated."

"Well... I guess I can think about Sadie constantly if we get separated." Katie said. "But now that I think about it, I don't think that sounds healthy."

"Yeah, gonna agree with you there." Chef remarked. "Can ya think of any other ways?"

"Can you?" Sadie asked.

"Well, uh, no. I ain't an expert." Chef said. "That's why I'm askin' you two."

"Can we bring cellphones with us?" Sadie suggested. "That way we can talk to each other if one of us is eliminated."

"I ain't sure if the producers would be cool with it." Chef pointed out.

"Aw man..." Katie sighed. "That was a really good idea, Sadie."

"Gee, thanks." Sadie remarked.

"C'mon girls, just brainstorm." Chef told them. "I know ya like each other and the producers wanna make sure you ain't too miserable. So think of some ideas."

"Okay, give us a sec." Katie said.

"Yeah, this sounds difficult too." Sadie agreed.

"Don't worry, I'll wait. Again." Chef said.

Katie and Sadie stared off at the sky in thought.

"Oh! I got it!" Katie exclaimed.

"Ooh, tell me!" Sadie cheered.

"Okay, well, if we can't use phones how about we write letters to each other?" Katie suggested.

"Wow, that's a great idea." Sadie replied. "You're so great for thinking of it."

"Y'know, the producers actually might accept that." Chef remarked.

"So does that cover everything you wanted to ask?" Katie asked.

"Hmm... Yeah, pretty sure that does it." Chef replied. "You two are probably some of the most normal people I've had to talk to while doin' this."

"Gee, thanks. That's a real compliment." Sadie said.

"But it's kinda weird how close you are." Chef added.

"What? No it's not." Katie denied. "C'mon, don't you have a friend you're this close to?"

"Uh, no, not really." Chef admitted. "Should I?"

"I dunno. None of our other friends are as close to each other as we are..." Sadie realized. "Ah, I'm sure we're just special."

"As long as ya ain't actin' like Izzy or Scarlett, I ain't gonna complain." Chef said.

"So are you going to leave now?" Sadie asked.

"Yeah, yeah I guess I am." Chef replied. "You girls have a good day."

Chef began walking away from the pool.

"Bye chef!" Sadie called out to him.

"You're less scary than we remember!" Katie added, waving him goodbye.

"Uh, thanks I guess." Chef replied. "You girls have fun."

Chef walked out of the backyard and towards his car. As he did this, he took out his phone and dialed one of the producer's numbers into it. After a few seconds, someone answered.

"Yes, who's this?" Johansson asked.

"Chef. Do ya seriously not have caller ID?" Chef replied.

"No, I have it. I just never look at it." Johansson explained. "Anyway, what do you want?"

"I finished interviewin' Katie and Sadie." Chef told her. "Gotta say, they ain't too weird. Have you guys run out of crazy people to send me?"

"Oh, no, we still have a few left." Johansson stated. "In fact I can book a meeting right now."

"Wait, no, that wasn't what I meant." Chef said.

"Too late, I'm making the appointment." Johansson told him. "Have fun with Rodney."

"Oh no, you mean the stuttering farm guy?" Chef asked.

"Hey, I'm only giving you what you asked for." Johansson stated. "Bye now."

Johansson hung up on the other end of the phone.

"I gotta stop givin' these guys ideas." Chef remarked.

* * *

 **Yep, Rodney's the focus of the next chapter. By the way, just in case you were wondering, there are only about for characters left I have planned to feature (That's counting Rodney by the way). So yeah, this series is starting to wind down. But seeing as the average update time is like, two weeks now that still means it might take a while to complete. So anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading.**


	23. Rodney

**And this story is back. Hope I didn't make you wait too long again. To be honest, I can't actually remember when the last time I updated was. This chapter is about Rodney. A character I don't particularly like but for some reason have always wanted to give character development. Anyway, that's about all I've gotta say here. Hope you like this chapter.**

* * *

On another morning, Chef walked through the city streets in the downtown area while engaged in a phone conversation with one of his bosses.

"Ya gotta stop springin' surprises on me is all I'm sayin'." Chef remarked.

"Chef, buddy, we've go a perfectly good reason for this one." Di Giovanni told him. "Besides, you're back at home now, aren't ya?"

"Yeah, but I went all the way to the office just to find out that we're s'posed to meet up at some restaurant." Chef said. "And I was never even told _why_ we're doin' that."

"We thought having you meet him out would help with his… Particular problem." Di Giovanni explained.

"Ya mean how he's freezin' up around girls?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, that. It's harder to observe that when you're the only person around him." Di Giovanni stated.

"Okay, fine. That's a valid reason." Chef admitted. "I'll give ya that."

"Thank you." Di Giovanni replied.

"But that don't mean I'm not upset about it." Chef replied. "I woulda preferred it if I coulda at least picked where we met up."

"Yeah, well, I wish for a lot of things that I don't get too." Di Giovanni said. "Look, just do the job okay. You're gonna be done soon?"

"Really?" Chef asked.

"Yes, really. We gotta finish up this screening process soon." Di Giovanni told him. "We want another season."

"I'm workin' on it. So far, I accepted everyone so I'm sure this will go just as it always does." Chef replied. "Now are ya done talkin' to me?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Di Giovanni replied. "Catch ya on the flip side."

"Never say that again." Chef stated.

Di Giovanni hung up on the other end. Chef continued walking for a few moments without saying anything.

"Am I bein' too cynical?" Chef wondered out loud. "Is that the problem?"

Chef stopped in front of a restaurant with a sign above it reading "Burger City".

"Okay, this is the place." Chef remarked. "That farm kid had better be in there."

Chef entered the restaurant and looked around the room for a moment. His eyes quickly fell on Rodney who had seated himself at a two-person table in the corner and was currently staring at one of the waitresses with a slightly blank expression on his face. Chef waved over to him but Rodney didn't seem to acknowledge him.

"Guess he doesn't see me." Chef remarked.

Chef approached Rodney's table causing the redhead to look up at him.

"Oh, hey there. Good to see you." Rodney noticed Chef.

"Mind if I sit here?" Chef requested.

"No, go ahead." Rodney replied.

Chef sat down across from Rodney.

"So, Rodney, I'm just here to check if it's cool for you to come back." Chef explained. "You got that?"

"Uh huh, yeah…" Rodney trailed off, his eyes falling back on the same waitress again.

"Ah jeez, already?" Chef remarked. "Rodney, snap outta it!'

"Huh? What?" Rodney asked as he looked back at Chef. "Sorry, I got distracted."

"Yeah, I know." Chef replied. "That's what we're workin' on actually."

Rodney stared confusedly at Chef.

"I don't think I understand." Rodney admitted.

"Whenever ya see a woman, you get that Deer-In-Headlights look on your face and it's pretty weird." Chef told him. "So what we wanna do, is get'cha to _not_ do that."

"But that's impossible. Whenever I lay my eyes on the face of my one true love I just can't stop staring…" Rodney began trailing off and staring at the waitress.

"Ya mean that lady?" Chef asked.

Rodney absent mindedly nodded.

"Has she even talked to you?" Chef asked.

"She asked what I wanted to order." Rodney replied.

"That's what waitresses are s'posed to do." Chef pointed out.

"Yeah, but she seemed special." Rodney remarked.

"How long have you been a, uh, 'Romantic' is the right word I guess. How long have ya been like that?" Chef asked.

"Gee, I dunno." Rodney replied. "My dad always told me the most important thing about growing up is getting married."

"Okay, already that explains a lot." Chef remarked.

"What's that mean?" Rodney asked.

"I've figured out why ya go crazy over every woman ya meet." Chef explained.

"What? I don't do that. I have one true love." Rodney claimed.

"How many girls have ya dated?" Chef asked him.

"I dunno, I don't think I can really count that high." Rodney admitted.

"How 'bout how many girlfriend's you've had this week?" Chef continued the ask.

"Probably twenty something." Rodney replied.

"Now do ya see the problem?" Chef asked.

Rodney paused and looked off in thought.

"No." Rodney admitted.

"Ya need to be more realistic, all right." Chef told him.

"I still don't get what you're saying." Rodney said.

"I'm gonna be here a while..." Chef mumbled to himself.

The waitress Rodney had been staring at walked up to the table.

"Okay, so are you ready to order now?" The waitress asked Rodney. "And does your friend want anything?"

"Uh... I... Burger... Flowers... Pretty..." Rodney muttered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." The waitress replied.

"We'll both just have the regular cheeseburger and split some fries." Chef spoke up.

"Comin' right up." The waitress said.

The waitress walked away and Rodney snapped back to reality.

"Huh, where'd that lady go?" Rodney asked.

"Ya see, this is the problem I'm s'posed to be checkin' out." Chef explained. "Do you finally get it?"

"Uh... Maybe." Rodney replied.

"Look, let's start with something simple, all right." Chef told him. "Do you want to come back on the show?"

"Oh, definitely. Maybe then I can reconnect with some of my ex-girlfriends." Rodney said. "Like the tall girl or those two twins."

"This is what the producers want to avoid. They don't want you to do that weird spacing out thing ya do." Chef explained.

"That's impossible." Rodney stated. "It's just something I do."

"Well, then I guess I can't let ya back on." Chef remarked.

"Aw, please gimme a chance." Rodney pleaded.

"Fine, let's finish the burgers we ordered and I'll try to test you somehow." Chef said.

"What kind of test?" Rodney asked.

"I don't know." Chef admitted. "I'll figure that out while I'm eating."

A little while later, Rodney and Chef had received the food they ordered and were in the middle of eating without talking to each other. Chef looked up at Rodney and saw that he wasn't actually eating and was instead staring at a female customer sitting by herself near a window.

"Rodney, stop it." Chef told him.

"Huh? Oh, sorry." Rodney apologized.

"Listen, Rodney, I got an idea." Chef explained.

"About what?" Rodney asked.

"If you wanna come back on the show, all you need to do is prove that you can have a normal conversation with a woman." Chef told him. "Can't be that hard, right?"

"Yeah... Normal conversation." Rodney repeated, sounding unsure. "I can do that."

"I find that unlikely." Chef admitted. "But I'm willin' to give you a chance."

"Great." Rodney said. "Don't worry, this will go great. Think we can go somewhere else to try it though?"

"Yeah, sure. That's prob'ly a good idea." Chef agreed. "Besides, I don't think that the waitress wants to talk to you anymore."

"So where should we go?" Rodney asked.

"How 'bout we walk around and see what happens." Chef suggested.

"Yeah, okay." Rodney agreed before taking another bite of his burger and then staring off at the same female customer as before.

"I'm in for a long day." Chef remarked.

A little while later, Chef and Rodney had just exited the restaurant and were walking down the street together.

"So, what's the plan from here?" Rodney asked. "I know I gotta talk to a woman but I don't know where to find one."

"Rodney, it's not hard." Chef told him. "Look, just find a woman and ask 'em what time it is."

"Oh, okay. I can do that." Rodney replied. "Here I go."

Rodney looked up and down the street and sees a young blonde woman on her cell phone by a crosswalk.

"Okay, I'll try talking to her." Rodney said.

"Try to act normal." Chef encuoraged him.

"Yeah, I can do that." Rodney confidently told himself. "Okay, I'm really doing it now."

Rodney walked away from Chef over to the woman he saw. Once he was close enough Rodney pretended to clear his throat in an attempt to get her attention.

"Uh, can I help you?" The woman asked.

"I, uh, wanted to uh... Ask..." Rodney fumbled with his words, looking the woman directly in the eyes. "Um... Me... Asking... Is... Time..."

The woman stared back confusedly. Rodney panickedly pointed at his wrist, hoping it'd help.

"Oh, you wanna know what time it is." The woman realized. "Lemme check my phone."

The woman looked at her cell phone for a moment before looking back at Rodney.

"It's Eleven forty five." The woman told her.

"Um... Thanks." Rodney said.

"Er, no problem." The woman replied.

Rodney walked away from the woman and back to Chef.

"Wow, that went great." Rodney remarked.

"I was listenin' and _no_. It did not." Chef told him. "I mean, at least ya asked the question... Kinda. But ya still sputtered like a broken speedboat."

"But she got what I was saying, right?" Rodney argued.

"Fine, ya get half a point for that." Chef stated.

"Yeah!" Rodney cheered. "So are we done?"

"Not yet." Chef said. "Talk to someone else first."

"Who?" Rodney asked.

"I dunno, any woman you see." Chef replied. "Just talk to 'em with out starin' and stutterin'. You got that?"

Rodney nodded with a chipper smile across his face.

"Great, now let's walk around until ya see someone." Chef said.

The duo walked down the street and turned a corner. Rodney was constantly looking around for someone to talk to.

"Hey, don't get too distracted." Chef suggested.

"I'm just looking for people." Rodney said, his head swivelling around.

"Okay, fair enough." Chef admitted.

"Oh, how about her?" Rodney suggested, pointing ahead.

Chef looked forward and saw a middle aged woman sitting at a bus stop and rooting through her purse.

"Yeah, why not." Chef replied. "Get out there and prove yer not a creep."

"Okay!" Rodney cheered, oblivious to the insult.

Rodney walked over to the woman at the bench.

"Hello, miss. I'd uh, um, I'd like to ask a, uh, question." Rodney told her.

"Hmm? What do you want to ask?" The woman asked.

"Do you know the um... Uh... What's the word?" Rodney stumbled over his words. "Oh, do you know what time it is?"

"Hmm, oh, let me check." The woman replied.

The woman rolled up her sleeve and looked at her watch.

"It's eleven forty seven." The woman told her.

"I, uh, thank, um, uh, thank you." Rodney told her.

Rodney hurriedly walked away from the woman and back to where Chef was keeping a watchful eye on the situation.

"I did it! The thing! I did the thing!" Rodney cheered.

"Well, it was better than last time. But it wasn't a hundred percent." Chef told him.

"Aw, I thought I did good though." Rodney said.

"Tell ya what, since this is an improvement, I'll give ya one last shot." Chef said.

"Hooray!" Rodney cheered.

"Let's go look for someone you can talk to." Chef told him. "Just keep walkin'."

The duo continued further down the treet. Rodney kept turning his head to see if there was anyone he could talk to.

"I know yer just doin' what I asked but there's gotta be a less weird way of doin' it." Chef remarked.

"Sorry." Rodney apologized. "How 'bout you keep lookout instead."

"Fine, I guess that works." Chef said.

Chef looked around as they continued down a street and saw a young woman getting out of a car.

"Okay, go talk to her." Chef told him.

"Right, this time I'll do well." Rodney said, mostly to himself.

Rodney approached the woman with a confident stride in his step.

"Bye dad, thanks for dropping me off." The woman told the person in the car she had gotten out of, unaware of Rodney.

The woman turned around and saw Rodney in front of her. He didn't say anything and simply stared at her for a few moments.

"Oh, uh, hello." The woman said. "Can I help you."

"I, um, I think, yes. Yes, you can." Rodney told her. "Do you know the uh, the, the, the time?"

"Let me check real quick." The woman replied as she reached into her pocket.

She took out her phone and looked at it for a second.

"It's eleven forty nine." She told him.

"Er, uh, thanks." Rodney replied. "You have very nice hair by the way. Oh, oh, and your eyes look good."

"Um... Thanks." The woman said as Rodney still stood there. "Uh, bye."

"Oh, right, bye." Rodney repeated the woman's words.

Rodney quickly turned around and went back to Chef.

"How'd that go?" Rodney asked.

"Honestly, worse than the last one." Chef told him.

"Aw..." Rodney trailed off. "I thought I did good."

"No, that was prob'ly the worst one yet actually." Chef went on.

"Aw, please let me stay on the show." Rodney pleaded. "I don't know what I keep doing wrong."

"Look, ya seem like a harmless idiot." Chef told him.

"Thank you." Rodney obliviously replied.

"But, since ya didn't pass the test I was 'sposed to give ya, I can't let you back on." Chef continued.

"Aw..." Rodney trailed off again.

"Tell ya what, I'm puttin' you on my maybe list." Chef told him. "Just practice socializin' at home and maybe we'll let ya back."

"Yay, I kinda got a chance!" Rodney cheered. "So, uh, are we done?"

"Pretty much. You can take yerself home." Chef said. "I got my own stuff to do."

"Oh, by then." Rodney told him.

Chef nodded in acknowledgment, turned away from Rodney, and began to walk away. Rodney waved as he left, but of course Chef didn't notice. Just as Chef went around a streetcorner, his phone began to ring.

"Gotta be kiddin..." Chef mumbled under his breath.

He took out his smartphone and looked at the caller ID which read "Johansson".

"Ah, I'm sick of this. I'll deal with her later." Chef decided.

Chef pressed the decline button on the phone and continued on walking down the street.

* * *

 **And that was the chapter. Rodney gave me very little to work with. Seriously, I think I had more fun writing Staci's chapter. Anyway, there are only three characters left to feature. And with any luck I should be done with this series by the year. Hope you all like this chapter and feel free to leave a review if you feel like it. Thanks for reading.**


	24. Sugar

**Okay, wow, this took way too long to update again. But, now it's up and hopefully you all like this chapter. The focus of this chapter is Sugar. I'm pretty neutral towards that character but I hope I made this chapter interesting. Anyway, I haven't got all that much to say so I'll end the note here. Hope you all like the chapter.**

* * *

Chef casually strolled out of an elevator at the headquarters of his work. In one hand he held a cup of coffee, in the other he had a phone up to his ear. He leans against a nearby wall while on the phone.

"So Johansson, what's up?" Chef asked.

"I just wanted to know why you didn't answer my call last time." Johansson explained. "I mean, I'd get it if you forgot about you phone. But Di Giovanni, he says he called you sometime before me. So I think you just didn't wanna talk."

"Yeah, that's pretty accurate." Chef admitted. "Talkin' to you guys all the time is kinda annoying."

"Well, we're your bosses so you have to deal with that." Johansson told him.

"Another thing, how the hell are you guys always able to know when I'm done with the interview?" Chef asked. "Without fail, ya always call as soon as I'm done."

"It's a series of fortunate coincidences." Johansson replied. "Now be a good evaluator and hang up. Sugar should be waiting for you in the interview room."

"Oh, right." Chef replied. "I ain't lookin' forward to that girl."

"Well, too bad." Johansson replied. "Okay, I'm hanging this up now so you can do your job. Buh-bye now."

Johansson hung up on the other end.

"Well, at least I got my coffee." Chef told himself.

Chef walked further down the hall until he saw the room marked "Interview Room" on the door.

"Okay, here we go again." Chef remarked.

Chef pushed open the door and on the other side saw Sugar sitting at a table while looking at herself in the mirror of a makeup compact.

"Hey, Sugar, put that away." Chef told her.

"Aw, ya can't tell me what to do just 'cause your bigger than me." Sugar casually replied, not taking her eyes off the mirror.

Chef sighed and walked over to Sugar where he sat down across from her at the table. He mumbled something to himself, took out the folder full of files on former contestants, and began to flip through it. Sugar looked up from the mirror and over at Chef.

"What'cha doin'?" Sugar asked.

"Just checkin' on what the producers want me to look at." Chef explained.

"What's that mean?" Sugar continued to ask.

"Well, says here that the producers want me to look at your 'Extreme Hatred' of Ella. Remember her?" Chef explained.

"Ah, don't get me started 'bout that loser princess." Sugar replied.

"It also says your real name is Nancy." Chef remarked, glancing down at the paper. "Not what I expected."

"I get that a lot." Sugar said. "But wait, can ya go back to what you were sayin' bout that Cinderella wannabe?"

"The producers think you hated her a bit too much back on the show." Chef explained.

"Pfft, I still got no idea what yer talkin' about." Sugar replied.

"Look, I wasn't payin' attention to you two during the show, but apparently, you were kinda aggressive with her." Chef said.

"That girl had it comin'." Sugar stated. "Her and her pink shirt."

"You're wearing a pink shirt." Chef pointed out.

"Yeah, but, I wear it better." Sugar claimed. "She looks like a goat that got lost in a dress factory when she wears hers."

"Okay, I think I get what's goin' on." Chef remarked. "Yer just jealous."

"What? I ain't ever been jealous. I don't even know what that word means." Sugar claimed.

"Doesn't surprise me." Chef said.

"What's that 'sposed to mean?" Sugar asked.

"Doesn't matter." Chef told her. "We need to focus on you and Ella right now."

"All right, fine." Sugar replied. "But I don't got anything nice to say 'bout that girl."

"Just answer some questions, okay." Chef said.

"Ask 'em." Sugar told him.

"Let's start easy." Chef remarked. "Sugar, do you like competing in beauty pageants?"

"You betcha." Sugar replied. "And it ain't just beauty either, ya gotta have a talent too. I'm actually one of the most popular kids at my school 'cause I'm sorta a mini-celebrity on account of the pageants."

"Huh, already I think I have some stuff to write down." Chef said.

Chef scribbled something down in Sugar's file.

"What're ya writin'?" Sugar asked.

"Don't matter right now. Can we talk 'bout you and Ella?" Chef requested.

"Aw, fine. But seriously, I ain't gonna tell ya anything new 'bout that girl. I hate her and that's final." Sugar said.

"Okay, I get it. Just lemme ask my questions." Chef replied. "About Ella, you talk to her recently?"

"Ha, no way." Sugar replied. "Y'know that girl don't seem right in the head by the way."

"Yeah, you ain't the only one who thinks that." Chef told her. "I actually talked to her as part of this evaluation thing a while back."

"And lemme guess, ya didn't let her on." Sugar said.

"Nope, opposite of that." Chef told her.

"Aw dammit, really?" Sugar asked.

"Uh huh, let's move on to another question." Chef said. "Can ya gimme at least two reasons why ya hate Ella?"

"I've been over this." Sugar replied. "I hate her 'cause she's a worse version of me and acts like a crazy person."

"Ya have any more specific reasons?" Chef asked.

"Nope. And I don't need any." Sugar proudly stated.

"C'mon, there's gotta be more to it." Chef said.

"Stop askin' me so much. What are you? Some kinda interviewer?" Sugar asked.

"Well, yeah." Chef bluntly replied.

"Oh, yeah, that's fair." Sugar remarked. "But anyway, I don't got anything else to say 'bout that stupid princess."

"Okay, here we go. We're goin' on a little trip." Chef said, standing up.

"Huh? Whatta you mean?" Sugar asked.

"We're goin' somewhere so that you can think more." Chef explained.

"Ooh, let's go get some ice cream." Sugar remarked, standing up a well.

"Sure, works for me." Chef replied.

A little while later, Sugar and Chef had left the building and had just arrived at the local mall.

"So where exactly do ya wanna go?" Chef asked. "There are a few ice cream shops in here."

"I dunno, it's all the same to me." Sugar replied. "Whichever one's closer, I guess."

"Okay, let's find a map of this place then." Chef told her.

The two of them approached a large map on a nearby wall.

"The closest place is called… Sweet Caroline's." Chef remarked. "Huh, y'know me and Ella went there when she had her interview."

"Well, any place she likes is terrible." Sugar replied. "Find another spot."

"How about… This place is called 'Ice Dreams'. That sound good?" Chef asked.

"Yep, fine with me." Sugar replied. "C'mon, let's go."

A little while later, the two of them had arrived at "Ice Dreams" which was a little sit-down type of shop with mint green and cream coloured striped wallpaper.

"Huh, this place looks pretty neat." Sugar remarked. "Let's see what flavours they got."

"Hold on, I ain't done." Chef replied. "I still need to ask ya some questions.

"Well, how 'bout ya ask me while we're in line." Sugar suggested.

The two of them stood in line for the cash register.

"So Sugar, what would ya do if you came back for another season and Ella got put on you team?" Chef asked.

"I wouldn't like that." Sugar replied. "I'd make sure that girl was sent packin' as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I feel like the producers wouldn't like that." Chef remarked.

"Why? I thought they liked drama." Sugar pointed out.

"We're not allowed to have _too much_ drama anymore." Chef explained. "So just try to tone it down with the Ella hatin'."

"No way, that ain't happenin'." Sugar stated.

"Hmm…" Chef trailed off. "How 'bout-"

"Oh hey, front of the line." Sugar remarked, cutting Chef off.

Chef looked forward and saw that they had indeed reached the front of the line. A cheery young brunette woman beamed at the two customers.

"Hi ya, what can we get'cha?" The server asked.

"One rocky road scoop in a waffle cone." Sugar requested.

"Uh, just get me a scoop of chocolate in a cup." Chef replied.

"Okie dokie, coming right up." The server said.

The scene changed to a few minutes later with Chef and Sugar sitting at a table eating the ice cream they ordered.

"Mmm, now this is some good stuff." Sugar remarked.

"Sugar, I'm gonna need you to focus." Chef told her.

"All right, fine. Whatta ya want?" Sugar asked.

"I need to see how you'll handle Ella." Chef explained. "So, I'm gonna pretend to be Ella and we'll have a conversation."

"I dunno, ya don't look like Ella." Sugar pointed out.

"Just pretend, all right." Chef replied. "You got an imagination, don'cha?"

"Guess so." Sugar said. "All right, lemme try."

Sugar stared at Chef for several moments and scrunched up her face.

"Okay, I can see it now." Sugar replied. "Now what do I do?"

"Here's what we do. Pretend a new season started and you and Ella got put on the same team." Chef explained. "Now act like I'm Ella and you're you."

"Uh, all right." Sugar replied. "You start us off."

Chef nodded and cleard his throat.

"Oh, hello there Sugar. Isn't it wonderful that we're on the same team?" Chef tried to make the pitch of his voice higher and more feminine.

"Do ya have to do the voice?" Sugar asked.

"Just go with it." Chef said, now in his regular voice.

"Fine." Sugar replied. "Start over again.

"Isn't it wonderful to be on the same team, Sugar?" Chef repeated himself, now in his Ella impersonation voice.

"Ah, beat it cupcake. I'm busy." Sugar replied.

"Oh, but I thought we could talk. We're friends, yes?" Chef continued, his impression slipping a little.

"Since when?" Sugar asked.

"We talked a lot on Pahkitew Island a lot." Chef said. "Didn't we?"

"Look, stop tryin' to mess with me. And stop bein' so nice?" Sugar said.

"Nice? What's wrong with being nice?" Chef asked.

"Nice people don't exist. Yer obviously hiding something." Sugar explained.

"Well, I-" Chef began before stopping himself and he resumed talking in his normal voice. "Wait, hold up is that really what you think about Ella?"

"Pfft, hell yeah." Sugar replied. "You seen how 'Innoncent' and 'Sweet' she is. I've been in the pageant game long enough to know that ain't real."

"Listen, Sugar, I think I've figured out the problem." Chef said.

"What's that?" Sugar asked.

"You hate Ella for, zero reason." Chef said.

"It's a very good reason." Sugar insisted.

"Look, I'll let'cha back on the show if you promise to at least try to give Ella a chance." Chef told her. "If it works out, great. If it doesn't, at least Chris will be happy."

"That's it? All right, I'll give her a chance." Sugar said. "But if she's fakin' it, don't say I didn't tell ya."

"All right, whatever ya say." Chef replied. "Well, I'm gonna finish this ice cream on the road but you have a good time."

"Okay, will do. I'm actually thinkin' bout gettin' seconds." Sugar said.

"Right, see ya later." Chef told her.

"Have a nice day." Sugar replied.

Chef stood up, still holding his ice cream, and left the shop.

"I wonder if I'm gonna regret this." Chef remarked. "Nah, it'll be fine."

He continued through the mall for a moment when his phone started to ring. He picked up the phone and answered it.

"Yeah, who's this?" Chef asked.

"Ah, Chef, how goes the interview?" Johnson asked from the other line.

"All right, seriously, how the hell are you always able to call me right after I finish the interview?" Chef asked.

"Well, I can't speak for the others but I've figured out the approximate time it takes for you to do an interview." Johnson explained.

"Fine, guess that's a fair explanation." Chef said.

"Anyway, how was the interview?" Johnson asked.

"Went well. Sugar should be coming back on." Chef told him

"Excellent." Johnson replied. "You're almost done with these interviews. Just two more of our old contestants left."

"That's great news." Chef replied. "All right, I'm gonna hang up now. You have a nice day."

Chef hung up from the phone.

"I wonder if I should buy a new phone." Chef remarked to himself as he continued walking.

* * *

 **And that was that chapter. Once again, I'm sorry it took over three weeks for me to write this chapter. But anyway, it's up now and I hope you like the chapter. The focus of the next chapter is going to be Mike. I figure since it's getting close to the end of the story I might as well tell you. So anyway, I hope it takes less than three weeks to get up the next chapter. Be sure to leave a review if you want to tell me what you think. Thanks for reading.**


	25. Mike

**And it looks like this story updated. It also looks like I took less than three weeks this time. So yay for that. Anyway, the subject of today's chapter is Mike so I hope you all like reading about him. That's about all I've gotta say for this chapter. So, you can go ahead and read the rest now.**

* * *

On another morning, Chef walked towards his usual interview room while on the phone with someone.

"I really can't believe I'm almost done with these interviews." Chef remarked. "I don't even know why ya made me do this in the first place."

"Trust me Chef, I was against the idea too." Chris replied from over the phone. "But, the network executives want what they want and we have to listen."

"So are all of these guys gonna be comin' back on the show?" Chef asked.

"No, not all of them. Some of them, definitely. But most of these interviews are jus precautions." Chris explained. "Now are you just here to talk business or what?"

"Nah, I don't really have any other questions." Chef admitted.

"Well, I'll let you go then." Chris remarked. "Y'know, we should really go out to lunch sometime."

"Listen, not the best time to talk about this." Chef said. "I got a job to do."

"Right, talk to you later." Chris replied.

Chris hung up on the other end.

"It's all gonna be over soon." Chef told himself. "I should be happy, but somehow, I just ain't."

Chef went over to the room he usually held interviews in and opened up the door. Inside, Mike was waiting for Chef at the usual table.

"Oh, hey Chef." Mike said. "What's up?"

"Ya seem weirdly cheery 'bout this." Chef noticed as he took a seat.

"I'm not worried 'cause I know you'll let me back on the show." Mike explained. "I don't even know why you're having me interviewed."

"It's prob'ly 'cause of that evil alternate personality of yours." Chef pointed out.

"Oh come on, I got rid of Mal." Mike replied.

"I know, but accordin' to the producers, pressin' a button inside your head ain't scientific." Chef said.

"But it's what happened." Mike pointed out. "Honest."

"I ain't doubtin' you, but the producers are." Chef replied. "Look, I just gotta find proof that the evil guy that lives in your brain ain't there anymore."

"Sure, I can do that." Mike said. "Sounds easy."

"Great, than lemme get some questions outta the way." Chef told him. "For starters, tell me 'bout what life's been like at home. You and yer girlfriend shared the money from All-Stars, right?"

"Yep, sure did. Haven't done anything crazy with it though." Mike replied. "My parents bought us a nicer house though and I've been thinking of using it to pay for college."

Mike took notice of the fact that Chef gradually stared more and more off into space as he talk.

"Hey, are you all right?" Mike asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I just kinda stopped payin' attention." Chef admitted. "I'm gonna be honest, everything you're sayin' sounds so normal that don't feel like writin' it down."

"Oh... Uh, thank you?" Mike replied, not quite sure how to take the remark.

"Sorry, I'll ask you some more questions now." Chef told him. "Uh... Are you _totally_ sure that Mal ain't in yer head. Anything weird happenin' at home?"

"Really, there's nothing out of the ordinary with me." Mike claimed. "My life's been uneventful."

"Look, the producers want me to talk to you for a certain amount of minimum time and have a certain amount of notes." Chef said. "Just gimme somethin' to work with."

"Uh... Yeah, I've got nothing." Mike admitted. "I seriously can't think of anything that would indicate that Mal's still there."

"Well, maybe ya can't think of anything 'cause he was in control." Chef suggested.

"You think that?" Mike asked.

"Look, I'm just stretchin' to find something to write down." Chef admitted.

"Oh, uh, all right." Mike replied.

"Y'know, I usually go on a walk with my contestants. How 'bout the two of us step outside. Maybe then you'll find somethin' interesting to say." Chef suggested.

"Yeah, that could work." Mike said. "It's kinda stuffy in here anyway."

"Okay, let's head on out then." Chef told him.

Moments later, Chef and Mike had exited the building and were wandering with no particular destination in mind. They walked in silence for a few minutes before Mike decided to speak up.

"So Chef, where are we going?" Mike asked.

"I dunno, I was leavin' that up to you." Chef told him.

"Really? 'Cause I've been following you this whole time." Mike said.

"Ah dammit, okay. Let's stop and try to come up with a place to go." Chef said.

The two of them stopped in the middle of the side walk and stepped to the side.

"Okay Mike, just tell me some stuff you like and we'll try to find something." Chef told him.

"Hmm... Are there any bowling alleys nearby?" Mike asked.

"Really? Ya like bowling?" Chef asked.

"So is that a no?" Mike replied.

"No, no, I'll take ya there. Just wasn't expectin' it is all." Chef said.

About twenty minutes later, Chef found himself lacing up his bowling shoes and picking out a ball.

"So, I don't really bowl much. How do ya play?" Chef asked.

"It's pretty easy." Mike replied. "Just throw your ball at the pins."

"Okay, let's do this. And maybe you'll actually tell me somethin' I can work with." Chef said.

"Yeah, sure, I'll try." Mike said as he finished tying his bowling shoes. "Let me just take this first shot."

Mike backed up and ran towards his lane with a surprising amount of gratefulness to him. He rolled the ball down the lane and knocked down all the pins.

"Woo! Strike!" Mike cheered.

He walked on back to Chef and sat down next to him.

"How'd you run like that?" Chef asked.

"What do you mean?" Mike said.

"That was just kinda, weirdly athletic is all." Chef explained.

"Oh, yeah, after All-Stars I've kinda kept the abilities of my other personalities." Mike explained. "What you just saw was what I got from Svetlana."

"That was the Russian gymnast lady, right?" Chef asked.

"Yep." Mike replied.

"Hmm... Interesting. I'll be sure to write that down." Chef said.

"Are you ready to bowl?" Mike asked.

"Hold on, I just got one more question before I do that." Chef told him.

"Okay, go ahead and ask." Mike said.

"If you kept parts of your other personalities... Does that mean there's still Mal in you?" Chef asked.

"No, I don't think I kept the parts of _all_ my personalities." Mike replied. "I haven't been wanting to take vacations to Jersey and I haven't been having any back problems either."

"Hmm... If you say so." Chef said. "I'm still a little skeptical though."

"Look, can you bowl?" Mike asked.

"Fine, but you're gonna come with me." Chef said. "C'mon, this way."

Chef walked over to the lane and Mike followed him. He took aim and looked over at Mike.

"So Mike, how're things with you and Zoey?" Chef asked.

"Doing fine." Mike said. "We don't live in the same town but we keep in contact. And sometimes we visit each other."

"Jeez, you are painfully normal sometimes." Chef remarked.

Chef threw the ball and knocked down about six pins.

"Oh, uh, sorry." Mike said.

"No, no, it's my fault." Chef replied, now turning to look at Mike. "I've just been talkin' to so many weirdos that talkin' to you don't seem right."

"Okay, I guess that kinda makes sense." Mike said.

Chef walked over to the ball return spot and grabbed his bowling ball out of it.

"Do you have any more questions?" Mike asked.

"Lemme think..." Chef replied. "Nothin' yet. Let me just take this next shot and we'll see."

Chef rolled his ball down the lane but it went right into the gutter.

"Ah, dammit. Gutterball." Chef remarked. "C'mon, let's go sit down and talk for a bit."

"What about my turn?" Mike asked.

"We'll do that after the talkin'." Chef said. "Now let's sit."

The two of them went back over to some chairs and sat down together.

"So what questions do you have now?" Mike asked.

"Hmmm... Still got nothin'." Chef admitted. "Hold on... Oh, hang on. You got a therapist, right? What do they think about the whole 'Pressin' a button inside your head' thing?"

"Oh, I still see my therapist actually." Mike remarked. "She's still not entirely convinced my personalities are gone."

"Uh huh. You realize yer not helpin' yourself get back on the show, right?" Chef pointed out.

"Hold on, I'm not done yet." Mike replied.

"Okay, okay, fine. Keep on goin'." Chef said.

"Anyway, my therpist isn't too sure about the whole button in my brain thing." Mike repeated himself. "But, it's been a while now and she hasn't noticed anything."

"All right, that's fair." Chef remarked. "In that case, I really don't see a reason not to let you back. But just a warnin', if that Mal guy comes back, the execs say we gotta ban you from the show."

"Don't worry, I'm absolutely sure he's gone. Besides, if he did come back, it would probably be for the best if I got kicked off the show." Mike said.

"Nice to see you understand." Chef replied.

"Yeah, I mean, if I turn into some kind of evil mastermind again I don't see why you _wouldn't_ keep me away from the show." Mike remarked. "But trust me, that isn't gonna happen."

"All right, all right, I believe you." Chef said. "You can come back on the show."

"Wow, really?" Mike asked.

"Yep." Chef remarked. "I really think ya might be the most normal person I've talked to on this show."

"Oh, uh, thanks." Mike said. "But do you wanna finish bowling before you leave."

"Ah, why not." Chef replied. "I ain't got anything else goin' on right now."

"Awesome." Mike said. "Well, looks like I'm up now."

"Good luck." Chef told him.

About an hour later, Chef was walking out of the bowling alley by himself.

"Unbelievable, how's that guy so good at bowling..." Chef muttered to himself. "Well, 'least I tried. Okay, so if the producers weird timin' works out like it always does I should be gettin' a call right about-"

Chef's phone began to ring.

"How _do_ they do it?" Chef wondered.

Chef answered the phone.

"Chef here, who's this?" Chef asked.

"Ah, Chef, glad to hear you." The voice of Di Giovanni said. "So, how'd the interview gone."

"Just as I thought it would. Nothin' wrong wtih Mike." Chef told him.

"Great, great, just what we like to hear." Di Giovanni remarked. "Listen, Chef, I got some great news for you."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Chef asked.

"You've only got one last person to interview." Di Giovanni explained.

"And who's that?" Chef continued to ask.

"Ah, c'mon buddy, that'd ruin the surprise." Di Giovanni remarked.

" _Tell me_." Chef said more forcefully.

"Okay, okay, fine. God, you're such a spoilsport." Di Giovanni said. "It's Courtney. Have fun talking to her."

"Oh, right, I think one of you guys mentionefd her a while ago." Chef recalled.

"Sure did." Di Giovanni remarked. "Anyway, I'll be seeing you later. Peace out."

Di Giovanni hung up on the other line.

"Just one more left." Chef repeated to himself. "If they ever do this again, they'd better hire a professional."

* * *

 **And that's the chapter. It was surprisingly difficult for me to write. Don't get me wrong, I like Mike. But it's hard for there to be conflict in the chapter when Mike's such a nice guy. Hopefully though, I did a good job on the chapter. Anyway, the next chapter, featuring Courtney, isn't going to tbe the last chapter. It'll be the last interview, but not the last chapter. I still have an epilogue planned. I'm aiming to have Courtney's chapter up before the end of the year. That's mostly a joke, but I have slacked off before. Anyway, that's all I've got here. Thanks for reading.**


	26. Courtney

**And now it's time for the final interview of this story. I certainly hope this didn't take too long to update. Anyway, as I said, this is the last interview of the show that Chef is doing. The subject of the interview is Courtney. That covers pretty much everything so you can get to the actual chapter now.**

* * *

On yet another early morning, Chef had just parked his car outside the headquarters of the television network he worked for. He stepped out of his vehicle with an uncharacteristic smile on his face. As he entered his place of work, Chef took out his cell phone and dialed a number to it. He held the phone to his head as he waited for a response from the other line. Soon, somebody picked up.

"Hey there, Johnson. Thought I'd say hi." Chef spoke into the phone.

"Ah, Chef, it seems you're the one calling us for once. What a lovely surprise." The voice of Johnson greeted him from the other side. "What's the occasion?"

"I just wanted to let'cha know that I'm feelin' great." Chef told him.

"Oh… Are you feeling okay?" Johnson asked.

"Couldn't be better." Chef said.

"It's just, usually you're a lot more surly about these interviews you're doing." Johnson pointed out.

"I'm happy 'cause I know this is the last time I ever gotta do this." Chef stated. "So long boring interviews hello new season."

"Glad to hear it." Johnson replied. "And here I thought you were here to complain about Courtney."

"Oh… Right, her." Chef suddenly remembered. "Forgot she was the last one I had to talk to."

"Not looking forward to it, huh?" Johnson remarked.

"I don't really remember much 'bout her actually." Chef admitted. "Mostly that she was a little bossy."

"Yes, that is a correct assessment." Johnson said.

"Well, either way, this is the last time I'm gonna do this." Chef stated.

"Best of luck to you." Johnson told him. "I've got to go now, but do have a good time."

Johnson hung up on the other end just as Chef came to the elevator.

"It ain't gonna be that bad." Chef told himself. "… Somehow, I don't believe it.

A little while later, Chef found himself on his regular floor going down the hall he always went down and stopping in front of his usual door.

"Here we go." Chef told himself. "Last time I'm doin' this."

Chef opened up the door and saw Courtney sitting at the interview table looking slightly bored.

"Oh, you're here." Courtney remarked. "Okay, let's get this over with. C'mon, ask me the questions or whatever it is."

"Well, glad to see you're… Cooperative." Chef briefly struggled to find the words. "Don't worry, I'm sure it ain't gonna take too long."

Chef went over to Courtney and sat across fro her. He dug out the folder from under the chair and went through it until he found Courtney's file.

"What's it say about me?" Courtney asked as Chef began to look over her file.

"That's what I'm tryin' to find out." Chef said. "Hmm… Says I'm s'posed to look into your anger issues."

"Oh come on, what do you mean?" Courtney asked. "What anger issues are you talking about?"

"Look, I'm just sayin' you got a bit of a history when it comes to yellin' at people and holding grudges." Chef pointed out. "It's all in this file."

"I'm sure they're exaggerating. I'm perfectly fine, thank you." Courtney stated.

"Look, we'll get back to this later, okay?" Chef told her. "Lemme ask you a few questions. Okay?"

"Ugh, fine. Ask me anything." Courtney said.

"Okay, so, are you still in contact with people from the show?" Chef asked.

"Not really." Courtney admitted. "I'm still friends with Bridgette though. But she's about it."

"You and Bridgette were friends?" Chef asked.

"Yeah, we were pretty friendly with each other back in the first season." Courtney said. "And we still are, actually."

"But as for everyone else?" Chef asked.

"No, not really." Courtney admitted. "Either I don't know them, or I don't like them."

"Uh huh, I'm gonna get more specific now, all right." Chef told her. "Accordin' to this file, I'm sposed to ask about Duncan, Gwen, and Scott."

"Oh god, please don't remind me about all that." Courtney said. "I'd rather leave my mistakes in the past."

"So you admit you made mistakes then?" Chef remarked.

"Yes, yes I do." Courtney replied. "And I'd really prefer not to talk about it."

"Fine, I'll ask some other stuff first. But we're gonna work out way back to that, mark my words." Chef said.

"All right, just keep away from it for now." Courtney said.

"I will. Now stop talkin' so I can ask you some questions." Chef told her. "Courtney, how's life been since the show ended?"

"Oh, I've been fine actually." Courtney said.

"Really?" Chef asked. "Tell me more."

"I graduated high school for one thing and I'm in the process of applying for university." Courtney explained.

"Which one?" Chef asked.

"I don't have to share that." Courtney said. "But, I'm sure it's some place that will actually appreciate my leadership skills."

"Well, glad to hear life's goin' good for you." Chef told her. "What classes do you think you'll take in college?"

"Law, for one thing." Courtney replied. "Hmm... I haven't thought it out more than that now that I think of it."

"Well anyway, good for you is what I'm tryin' to say." Chef said.

"Thnk you." Courtney said.

"I'm gonna be honest though, I'm completely outta questions that don't involve stuff you've done on the show." Chef admitted. "So we're gonna get to that now."

"Fine, you can ask about that. I just won't answer." Courtney said.

"Aw jeez, it's that time again." Chef said.

"What time?" Courtney asked.

"Usually, a change of scenery helps with people opening up more." Chef explained. "So, where do ya wanna go?"

"Hmmm... I could go for a coffee." Courtney replied. "Know any good coffee shops around here?"

"I'm sure we can find something." Chef said. "C'mon, follow me."

A little while later, both Courtney and Chef were out in search of a cafe together.

"So do you know anywhere nearby that's good?" Courtney asked.

"I dunno, I don't remember stuff like that." Chef said. "We'll find something though."

"I hope it's _good_ coffee." Courtney remarked.

"I don't control the quality of the cafe we go to." Chef told her.

"Let's just stop talking until we get there." Courtney decided.

"Good idea, I feel like we'll both be in a better mood once we get some coffee." Chef decided.

The two of them continued down the street, not talking to each other. After a couple minutes, they came upon a storefront with a sign outside that read "Coffee Town".

"This looks like a good place." Chef said.

"Why not, it's hard to screw up coffee too badly." Courtney agreed.

The two of them entered the coffee shop together and approached the counter.

"Hi there." The barista greeted. "Which one of you am I serving?"

"We're buying together." Chef told her. "I'll take a latte and one of those blueberry muffins."

"Coming right up." The barista replied before turning to Courtney. "And for you?"

"I'll have a latte too." Courtney said. "No muffin for me though."

"Okay, we'll have your drinks ready in just a second." The barista said.

Some time past and later Courtney and Chef were seated at a small table in the coffee shop sipping on their drinks together.

"So..." Chef trailed off. "Wanna get back to the interview stuff?"

"I guess I have to at some point." Courtney took a big sip of her coffee before continuing. "Okay, fine, let's do this."

"Great, thanks for cooperating." Chef said. "Trust me, this won't take long."

"Just get to the questions, okay." Courtney told him.

"All right, all right." Chef replied. "So, Courtney, let's talk about you and Scott. How do you feel about him?"

"I dunno, I haven't talked to him since All-Stars ended." Courtney replied. "I remember him being kind of an idiot. But I didn't hate him or anything."

"And if I'm remembering' right, you dated him." Chef went one.

"Um, yes, that's correct." Courtney said, sounding just a little bit uncomfortable.

"Do ya think you two'd be hostile with each other if you were back on the show together?" Chef asked.

"Hmm... Hard to say." Courtney admitted. "He wasn't that bad a guy. A little annoying sometimes, sure. But still not bad. I feel like we could be friends again if I tried."

"Good to know." Chef said. "That's definitely a point for you then."

"Oh, uh, thank you." Courtney replied.

"Now, we gotta move on to some questions 'bout Gwen." Chef told her.

"All right, fine. Ask whatever you need to." Courtney said.

"Right. So Courtney, what do you think about Gwen?" Chef asked.

"I liked her, I really did." Courtney remarked. "I really wish we could've stayed friends."

"And how do you think you two would get along if you came back?" Chef asked.

"Hmm..." Courtney trailed off. "I don't know, maybe it's not a good idea to try again."

"What makes you say that?" Chef said.

"I'm gonna be honest, I'm still just a little upset she didn't forgive me back when we were on the show." Courtney admitted. "Call it petty, but it's the truth."

"Wasn't there that whole thing with the chart or somethin'?" Chef asked.

"Oh my god, _please_ don't bring up the chart." Courtney said. "I'd just like everyone to forget about it."

"Well, I kinda have to talk about it." Chef explained. "It is the main reason ya ain't friends with Gwen and Scott right now."

"Look, I'm a very competitive person, all right." Courtney stated. "I thought they'd understand it's just a game. But... Okay, fine, maybe I did mess up. Can we move on, please?"

"Fine, but I might get back to that later." Chef told her. "Let's move on to Duncan."

"If you have to..." Courtney annoyedly grumbled.

"What do you think of him?" Chef asked.

"I guess it's kinda complicated." Courtney replied. "I used to really like him, but now I don't. But I guess I kinda do still like him too. I don't know, it's hard to explain."

"Take your time. I don't got any other plans today." Chef told her.

"Oh, thanks." Courtney said. "Uh... Yeah, I don't know how to feel about Duncan. I like some stuff about him, but also I don't like a lot of stuff too."

"What do you think would happen if the two of you were back in a season together?" Chef asked.

"Hmm... Tough call." Courtney admitted. "Part of me would want to hit him, part of me would want to ignore him, and another part would want us to be friends."

"Which do ya think is more likely?" Chef asked.

"Honestly, I don't even know." Courtney confessed. "It'd probably a spontaneous decision kind of thing."

"Well, that's definitely a point against you." Chef said.

"What do you mean?" Courtney asked.

"I'm tryin' to prove you _don't_ have anger issues." Chef told her.

"I _do not_ have anger issues." Courtney forcefully stated.

"Yer not helpin' your own case there." Chef pointed out.

"Okay, fine, fine." Courtney said. "If Duncan and me ended up on the same season together... I'd probably try to avoid him. That's just my first instict."

"Right, I'll be sure to write down 'Avoid'." Chef said.

"Hold on, I'm not done yet." Courtney told him. "After that, I'd probably wait to see how he feels about me. Then I'd decide if I wanted to be his friend or not."

"Huh, all right, that sounds thought out enough." Chef said. "That should about cover all the questions I got."

"And I get to go back on the show, right?" Courtney asked.

"Yep, sure do." Chef told her.

"Thank god." Courtney said. "Because if I couldn't, I would've totally sued you guys. And that's not a bluff, I know some great lawyers."

"Yeah, I believe that." Chef replied. "Look, you enjoy your coffee. I'm takin' mine to go now. It's been not that bad talkin' to you by the way."

"Thank you, I guess I feel the same." Courtney remarked. "Have a nice day."

"You too." Chef said.

Chef grabbed his paper coffee cup and stood up from the table. He exited the cafe and walked down the sidewalk.

"And that's the last of 'em." Chef told himself. "Somethin' is tellin' me I'm about to get a phone call."

Right on cue, Chef's phone began to ring.

"Yep, there it is." Chef remarked.

He took his cell phone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Chef here, who's callin' this time?" Chef asked.

"Hey, Chef, great to hear from you." Chris remarked from the other side. "Thought I'd check in on you. Is Courtney with you?"

"Nope, I just left her actually." Chef said.

"Oh, great. How'd the interview go?" Chris asked.

"It went all right. Courtney should be comin' back on the show." Chef told him.

"Great, fans like her so that's good news." Chris said. "Hey just a heads up, we've got a meeting with the producers tomorrow."

"A meeting about what?" Chef asked.

"I dunno, they didn't bother to tell me." Chris replied. "I'm sure it's no big deal."

"Sounds like a big deal." Chef remarked.

"Oh, relax." Chris told him. "Anyway, see you tomorrow."

"Hold on, I'm not d-" Chef stopped himself when he heard Chris hang up on the other end. "Ah, god damn it."

Chef put the phone away and continued down the street.

"Y'know, I think I'm gonna miss doin' this." Chef admitted. "Not much though, just a little."

* * *

 **And that was the chapter. I hope it was a satisfactory last interview. You can let me know if you liked it or not in the reviews. However, this still isn't the final chapter. Coming up next is the epilogue to the story which I should hopefully have up before the new year. Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you next time.**


	27. Epilogue

**Well here it is, the very end of this story. It's been fun writing, but in a lot of ways I'm glad to have finally finished it. Anyway, I hope this is a good ending for you all. So without further ado, let's just get into the story.**

* * *

It was a bright sunny morning in southern Ontario. At the headquarters of a popular television network, it was time for the conclusion to a months long project. Inside the building TV host Chris McLean and his associate Chef Hatchet were inside an elevator together going towards one of the building's higher floors.

"So, this is exciting, isn't it?" Chris remarked.

"Guess so." Chef replied disinterestedly.

"Aw, what's the matter?" Chris asked. "I thought you'd be happy about this being over."

"Oh, I am. I definitely am." Chef stated. "I just ain't a fan of the producers is all."

"They're nice once ya get to know them." Chris claimed.

"Hey, do you know how they're always able to call me whenever I finish an interview?" Chef asked.

"I dunno, probably just good at guessing or something." Chris remarked. "It's not important."

"Hmm, guess you're right." Chef said.

"Let's just get in there, listen to whatever these guys have to say, and get out." Chris told him. "Wanna get lunch afterwards?"

"Yeah, sure. That don't sound too bad." Chef said.

The elevator stopped and the two of them got out of it. They walked down the hall together until they reached a door in the hall.

"Here we go, let's make sure this meeting is quick." Chris said. "'Cause I want some lunch."

"It ain't even noon yet." Chef pointed out.

"I didn't eat breakfast, okay." Chris replied.

Chris and Chef entered the room where the producers Johnson, Johansson, and Di Giovanni were seated behind a desk together.

"Ah good, you're here. Take a seat." Johnson said.

Chef and Chris sat down in front of the producers.

"So, guys, what're we talking about today?" Chris asked.

"Well we'd like to start by congratulating Chef on his wonderful work." Johansson said. "If it wasn't for him, we may not have had another season."

"Uh, thanks I guess." Chef remarked.

"We just wanted to go over our plans for the new season." Di Giovanni continued. "Once that's done, you can do whatever you want."

"Here, these are some relevant papers." Johnson pushed a file over to Chris and Chef. "We've got potential locations and cast lists."

"Wow, you guys work fast." Chris noted.

"Thank you." Johnasson replied.

"Hey, listen, I got kind of a funny request." Chef said.

"Really? What is it?" Di Giovanni asked.

"Well, I talked to a lotta these guys who were on the show. They ain't that bad to be honest." Chef remarked. "And, well, I'd kinda feel bad if they got hurt like they usually do."

"So you're saying you want us to make the show less dangerous?" Di Giovanni asked.

"Well, kinda." Chef admitted.

"That's ridiculous Chef, no way that's going to happen." Johansson said.

"Yeah bud, half the point is that it's dangerous." Di Giovanni added.

"Completely out of the question." Johnson agreed.

"Well… It was worth a shot." Chef remarked.

"Have any other comments or can we continue?" Johansson asked.

"Nah, you can keep goin'." Chef said.

"Great." Johansson said. "So, we just need you to look over our ideas and hear your feedback."

Chef and Chris each took different papers from the file and looked it over.

"Huh, this is a pretty big cast list." Chef remarked.

"Hey, you had to talk to a lot of people." Johnson said. "We figured we'd try to include as many as we can."

"It's a shame about Scarlett though. We really wanted to include her." Di Giovanni added.

"C'mon, how many times do I gotta tell you she tried to blow up the island." Chef said.

"I know, I know, but that episode was great for ratings last season." Di Giovanni said.

"She ain't comin' back on, that's final." Chef said.

"Excellent judgement, Chef." Johansson said, briefly shooting Di Giovanni an angrily glance.

"Yep, I got no complaints. This next one's gonna be big!" Chris cheered. "Think this'll be the season that'll get me leading roles again?"

"We'll just have to see, Chris." Johnson replied. "But I'm sure it will be a fun time for all involved."

"Except maybe the contestants." Chris said. "But watching them in pain was fun for me."

"Y'know I was serious earlier. I'm gonna feel bad now that I kinda got to know a few of 'em." Chef remarked.

"Well, what can you do. Give the people what they want and all that." Di Giovanni replied.

"So can we leave now?" Chris asked. "'Cause I'm pretty bored. And I want lunch."

"It isn't even noon." Johansson pointed out.

" _I know_. Why does everyone say that?" Chris said.

"The meeting's actually over." Di Giovanni said. "You all just look over the stuff we gave you and shoot us an email, okay."

"Hold up, one last thing." Chef told them.

"Yes? What is it?" Johnson asked.

"Think I can get paid more this season?" Chef asked.

"Are you for real?" Di Giovanni asked.

Di Giovanni was promptly elbowed in the ribs by Johansson.

"Er, what is your reasoning for such a request, Chef?" Johansson asked.

"I did a lotta work this season. And as far as I know, it was free." Chef said. "I'm just sayin' I feel like I'm entitled to compensation."

Johnson, Johansson, and Di Giovanni all exchanged glances with each other. It seemed as if they were trying to communicate with each other without speaking.

"We'll see what we can do." Johnson eventually said.

"Great, that'll do I guess." Chef remarked.

"So we're done here, right?" Chris asked.

"Yes, we're done." Johansson said. "Stop asking."

"Be sure to read over the files later." Johnson said.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, see you guys later." Chris replied.

Chris stood up and began walking away.

"Oh, Chef, I, er, we just wanted to tell you that you did a good job." Johansson told him.

"Thanks." Chef said. "Feels good to get some recognition. See ya later."

Chris and Chef both stood up and left the office together. They went down the hallway back towards the elevator.

"Well Chef, it's all over now. We got a new season up ahead." Chris said. "How does it feel?"

"Gonne be honest, it feels pretty good." Chef admitted.

"In that case, good luck to both of us on the new season." Chris said.

"Thanks, I feel the same." Chef replied. "Let's go get lunch."

* * *

 **And that's the end. I wasn't really building up to any specific new season and I'm sorry to disappoint you if that's what you thought was going to happen. But I still hope this was a good ending for the story. I don't have all that much to say but leave a review if you want and thanks for reading. I might have some other new stories down the line.**


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